Valerie

I want those w**kers crushed, they caused my first Chelsea grief in the FA Cup final of 1994

I would back Scolari returning to prevent that, Europa League trophy or not

Who?

Dead means he'll be even thinner That would mean a complete recalibration of my TT measurement system! Someone shove a feeding tube up his nose!

To bring the thread back on topic, I can't imagine my life without Tuchel now. I measure everyone, including myself, to his skinny frame. At the start of the year I felt like 3 TTs, now that I have exercising again I feel better, surely I must be back to 2.2 TTs. My neighbour however has grown to at least 4 TTs, he must gain 1 TT every fortnight.

O stop it, this is getting very tedious.

Available in children's sizes from £ 200?

It's uncanny how Tuchel's intonation and way of laughing while he talks reminds me of my German uncle Enjoyable interview. He seems to talk more 'tactical tech' than most managers. Interesting how he emphasise how the players should respond on the pitch.

Yesterday was Substitute Spain It's funny reading the posts in the match chat and this thread during and after the match. During the match everyone was up in arms about our endless passing, now it's a mark of TT's brilliant tactics

You're right of course, but let's savour our win over those diving c**ts!

I did Imagine waking up to a win

I never had key lime pie. And I want Pulisic on in the second half (just thought I'd get this thread back to the match).

Havertz?

Oohhh Timo showing some skill there.

A shot from outside the box, wow!

Ah sheez, one big chance for them and 5 seconds later one for us.

Quite lovely that Azpi matched the colour of his anti-bite device to our away kit. I can't wait to see us play in our third kit now.

The first 3 minutes were very scary, I want this to be over already

Tapas.

Pink, hmmmm, possible, possible... To be honest, I just want to sleep at the moment, I'm shattered after a few nights bad sleep. That reminds me: @Munkworth, how do you like your new bed paraphernalia?

Lately I've been wrong with my colour prediction, all the lovely pinks and turqoises turned into dull black. Uefa is against me So black socks tonight probably, ugh...

I wanted to predict a 2-0 loss on the club's Play Predictor, but the game makes you chose a first Chelsea scorer (or I haven't figured out yet how to skip that), so I went for a 2-1 loss instead Priceless away goal in the bag!

You are now officially the worst off forum member, I hope you can find a way to watch the match.

So the o's are embraces and the x's are kisses? Are we going to love them into submission?

The club's art department is really enjoying themselves, the stories we could weave with this