PloKoon13

That's complete doggone bullsh*t, Tuchel is a liar. Pulisic is obviously not injured, we need to drain the swamp at Stamford Bridge.

Has won a penalty to put Palace ahead against potential league leaders Brighton (who are his temporary team's for some reason hated rivals even though nobody could possibly hate Crystal Palace as much as a Charlton Athletic fan). Edit: The American pundits have agreed that Grah-am Potter's solution is to bring on fellow Chelsea youngster Tariq Lamptey.

This is hilarious. Went into it thinking it's a win-win: either Tottenham manage to lose against the worst Arsenal side in 30 years, Arsenal continue their miserable run of being the worst Arsenal side in 30 years, or they both drop points. Tottenham look f**king horrendous though, which is always a great watch. Also fun is Nigel de Jong looking thoroughly unimpressed at the drunk geriatrics (Keys and Gray) attempting half-time analysis on Bein Sports.

He should actually take Pulisic with him to the press conference and break his leg in front of cameras just to demonstrate beyond doubt his inexplicable hatred for young Christian. I've seen some single-issue/player posters before but this is utterly absurd. On a non-conspiracist note, this was the last update from Tuchel:

My guess is that (assuming he does ever score), he'll poke it in during a goalmouth scramble Mikel-style.

Quite right, it's like last season when Tuchel spent six months pretending that Abraham was injured.

Can do! (Good thing we made this decision after Mikel left or @Liam would have words)

I bet I can guess who you'd prefer as an alternative.

^ Fairly sure you can do that - want me to start making the votes public from now on? Edit: Yeah you can:

Well... that was complete pants. A total lack of ambition and ability to actually get the ball to our attackers in the first hour has cost us dearly. Bringing forward the 3-5-2 from the Tottenham game did remind me of the odd occasion when Lamps would switch to a back three against certain opponents, find it to work, and then copy the setup in the following game regardless of how suited it was to the opposition (which usually resulted in us being behind at half-time or making a sub after half an hour). A hard performance to swallow, although I would argue that Man City certainly owed us one... I'm sure the negatives will be discussed at length, so positives: - Mendy was awesome as usual. - I thought Christensen did really well, he seems to have the knack against City (surely aided by the fact that they rarely play a standard centre forward against us). - I'm really enjoying Loftus-Cheek's unlikely resurgence. I don't know whether he can realistically be expected to play 90 minutes yet, especially against a top side, but he could serve as a decent backup to Mount as the guy who progresses the ball between midfield and the final third. - Man Utd lost at home against a team we beat 3-0 (ignore the fact that Villa are actually decent and that scoreline flattered us). This is undoubtedly funnier than a narrow defeat against the [probably] best side in the country.

However poor we were today, I'm sure we are collectively creative enough to find some way to blame the ref. Take your pick.

The ref 100% got bullied at school for wearing an Oasis shirt by a load of Blur fans

Well I didn't see that sub coming

Can't say they don't deserve it - at the very least this surely forces our hand.