PloKoon13

To be fair receding lips are a known side effect of meth abuse. Well done Liam, it's good to know there is still some wit on the forum.

As if a peasant like me would have a credit card... Will do!

That doesn't sound risky at all

God is clearly racist.

We just can't win, can we? We finally manage to integrate two exciting academy products into our first team and then they both go and get injured for several months. Horrible for Ruben, a European final would have been been a brilliant culmination and a reflection on what has been a fantastic season for him personally. I hope it's not as bad as it initially looks. Horrible for us too, all of a sudden our entire goalscoring threat from midfield has disappeared...

Big reach that - I don't think that (as far as we know) going out on the piss once and doing something stupid necessarily means you're an alcoholic. If it does, God knows what that makes me...

Chris Hughton's been [harshly] sacked [again]: https://www.theguardian.com/football/2019/may/13/brighton-sack-chris-hughton-as-manager-after-poor-run-of-form-in-2019

Feels like when you ask out a girl and you foolishly take hope from the fact that she doesn't technically say no.

Dan Levene is claiming that there was anti-Semitic chanting at the game today. I asked him to provide evidence for his claims, because I heard nothing of the sort today.

Where are you drinking before the match?

Ashley Cole's legacy lives on

José didn't die for this

Might have to pick up one of these: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Shell-fancy-Dress-costume-Scouser-x/dp/B002CA9L7E

Well done Tottenham, brilliant performance - someone get those boys a lasagne, they've earned it.

Tottenham are in the Champions League final. God is dead. Evil has won.