Ever thought that no matter how many bizarrely barefoot actors drape themselves over a DFS sofa, it?s still only a bit of furniture? Likewise with the marketing of football and, more precisely, a favoured football team. No matter how you dress it up, a bad tackle is always a bad tackle whoever makes it and a dive is still cheating whoever you are or whichever team you play for.

That is, of course, until the Media tell us differently - and we all know they do exactly that when it suits them, don?t we? It suited them yesterday on Sky when a trip to the Lane needed more than a little blind eye turning by the experts. My, oh my, didn?t it just?

Cutting to the chase, the first half of the match was evenly balanced with a genuine penalty appeal turned down for both sides. Eagle-eyed Andy Gray spotted Gardner?s unintentional infringement in a trice, yet Neville?s blatant drag down of Chimbonda needed greater thought before the declaration that, well yes, it was a penalty. Worse, much worse, was to come, but perhaps now is the time to mention that the opening 45 minutes was also notable for the number of mistimed tackles by, you?ve guessed it, Paul Scholes. Racking them up (three by my reckoning) received mere passing comment from Clattenburg and everyone except the lenient referee kinda knew that good old Scholsey wouldn?t stop hacking until he got carded.

With all and sundry patiently waiting for this to happen Ronaldo woke us up with an obvious real time dive in the box that became an outrageous slow motion bit of cheating when constantly reviewed by Andy, et al in the studio. These discussions never once included the word ?dive? or ?cheat? and any visitor from another planet would have been left with the impression that the fault, if indeed there was any, lay with Malbranque for inexplicably coming close to actually making some sort of contact with Ronaldo. Why on earth did he get that close to fouling his man, cried Andy (and later George Graham), as if that was somehow justification for the Winking One?s opportunism. Hastily told that the faintest of touches is enough to justify Ronaldo ?going down? - diving to you and me - the TV audience were then treated to the unedifying spectacle of praise being heaped on the penalty taker - who says cheats never prosper?!

Fast forwarding to the second half, the inevitable happened in so far as Spurs had no stomach for the fight, Scholes committed yet another atrocious tackle and got away with further Clattenburg chat which probably went along the lines of ?Paul, if you don?t stop soon I might have to take some action? and then the floodgates opened to take away the last vestige of honesty the game had to cling to, namely a 0-1 defeat that would have demanded closer scrutiny of the winning goal.

Man of the Match going to Ronaldo would have caused a riot (whereas giving it to Scholes merely beggared belief) - jeez, even the Man from Mars realised that Vidic should have got it. To cap it all Geoff Shreeves interview with Fergie turned into a non-event, as he bottled it big time and got chummy instead, leading to a patronising ?Thank you, Geoff? from a grateful pensioner at the end.

Time for Sky to sit back on their DFS sofas and reflect on a marketing cover-up job well done, I?d say, although how long the general public put up with them ducking diving issues when it suits them is another matter and, if ManU are to be the new champions, they may not be sitting all that comfortably brand leader-wise next season.

Scholes looks to be a shoe-in for Footballer of the Year, but he?ll only ever say boo to Media?s golden goose. Ronaldo, as his smirking arrival for the second half suggested, is destined for sunnier climes so he doesn?t give a toss how Sky portray him for the rest of this season or next. Neville will make the most of a last hurrah, but is bath chair bound along with Van der Sar and Giggs. That leaves the charismatic Rooooney in a field of, well err, one. In such circumstances, next season?s Premiership advertising campaign simply doesn?t bear thinking about. Don?t know about you, but I?m left hoping that, if it involves a sofa, Wayne keeps his socks on.

Cracking post again Dorset.

I found myself laughing in the end at the numerous ways in which Gray and Tyler ignored and covered up Scholes' blatent indiscretions. I even heard the age old classic line of "Scholes, he's a fantastic player but if he has one weakness it's his tackling". (That and not being able to play in hot and humid environments)

They love Scholes alright. Every time he hacks at someone they speak about it in indulgent tones along the lines that he doesn't really mean it as he just can't tackle.

Of course he does mean it as Roy Keane alluded to when he was on the Sky panel this season. Roy informed a shocked Dick Keyes that Scholsey was "nasty", something Keane liked about him. Dick tried to laugh it off as some kind of joke. Keane has yet to be asked back.

Top post as always, Dorset.

On a similar note, for me the most interesting moment of the weekend was Xabi Alonso's Essien-esque challenge on an Everton player. He wasn't even booked for it. It got no mention whatsoever on Match of the Day or TalkSpite and there were no endless repeats on SkySports.

although how long the general public put up with them ducking diving issues when it suits them is another matter

We've been doing it for years and i can't see anything changing in the near future, can you?

didn't gray one time say that even though there was no contact, the intention to foul was there, so that should be a penalty?

I can't remember who it was, but it was a blatant dive, and Gray said "well he went in for a rash challenge, so he has to expect to give away a penalty"

Richard keys even asked "even if there is no contact"

Gray answered "exactly, because the intent to foul was there!"

I think it was either Liverpool or Man U. Also, I can't believe that a lot of Scousers and Mancs think that Gray is a bluenose????

didn't gray one time say that even though there was no contact, the intention to foul was there, so that should be a penalty?

I can't remember who it was, but it was a blatant dive, and Gray said "well he went in for a rash challenge, so he has to expect to give away a penalty"

Richard keys even asked "even if there is no contact"

Gray answered "exactly, because the intent to foul was there!"

I think it was either Liverpool or Man U. Also, I can't believe that a lot of Scousers and Mancs think that Gray is a bluenose????

I think the dive you're talking about was by Gerrard (against Sheff.Utd?) - he went down without being touched and got the penalty. The ref stated afterwards that although there was no contact, the defender went in with intent.

F*ckin' ridiculous, are refs and commentators mind-readers now as well as utter w*nkers?

Not sure, I think it was Rooney when he got a penalty in the first couple of minutes; Watford ? Sheff Utd?

Good job "St Stevie" is going to have a word with whoever dives on his team!!

Not sure, I think it was Rooney when he got a penalty in the first couple of minutes; Watford ? Sheff Utd?

Good job "St Stevie" is going to have a word with whoever dives on his team!!

Just found it..................Cheating Scouse Git

Found some interesting clips on YouTube just by typing "Gerrard" & "Dive"

Not sure, I think it was Rooney when he got a penalty in the first couple of minutes; Watford ? Sheff Utd?

Good job "St Stevie" is going to have a word with whoever dives on his team!!

Just found it..................Cheating Scouse Git

Found some interesting clips on YouTube just by typing "Gerrard" & "Dive"

There are loads of them !! Honest Scousers

steve gerrard, gerrard

he kisses the badge on his chest..

then puts in a transfer request..

steve gerrrd gerrard

Funny you should mention this, as I have been thinking my avatar was getting just a tad d?j? vu.

(This one wins by a large margin I think)

Or alternatively the dramatized version: Liverpool Platoon Montage vs Bolton Wanderers by keveh

I hate Gerrard!