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Funny happenings at games ,spill your beans


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CSKA v CFC ,got to ground 25+ mins after kick off since are small group of about 10 decided to use the moscow underground to the game as coaches were leaving hotel ukerain a good 2+ hours before kick off and the moscow traffic is bad.

idea was to turn up stay drinking in hotel then make our way to ground AS Game kicked off in hope all Streets and the underground would be clear of any local lads wanting to take our heads off .word was that it could be or will be iffy if you used the underground .

got to station that servered the ground no stress at all ,walked out of station and tumbleweed was blowing down the Road and cfc was allready 0-1 up .Turned a corner where we clocked the statdium and Police / Army knocking about and we had to pass this pub that had 100s of Russian lads all some Stone Island and burrberry deaming  all stood outside trying to watch  the game on the pubs TV throu massiv Windows so we had to keep our heads down .

There was a loud mouthed drunk as a scunk cockerney within our ranks who had not fully taken in the full account of our situation and AS we snaked throu all these Russian outside the pub i kept on hearing ‘ wheres the facking ground ,facking hell mate ,fack it theres a pub over there ,fack this and fack that ‘ ‘’ for f**ks sake john put a sock in IT ‘’.

No harm came to Anyone and we passed throu the Security checks after showing match tickets and we was heading round towards away end .

One of or lot got taken away by Police when we was all been checked by security unknowing to anyone .Turns out he was thrown into back of a van that was full of Russians and it drove off .After driving for about 20 mins and Police in van found out he was english ,van pulled over and threw him out so he made his own way back into red square albion pub .

were now getting to away end and some of our mates are now leaving the ground and heading back into albion pub ,told them about the moody Russian outside the sercurity and they went that way to underground station and onto albion pub.

what we saw outside the away end enterance was strange with about 100+ chelsea all with tickets but could not Get into the ground with what seemed the Russian Army keeping order and there was trucks of them parked up.some chelsea were getting quite upset since we all had match tickets and fat cath was doing her nut in going on the ‘ fack this fack that ‘ coutnts .

it was not looking good then a chap held up a flight options sign outside a turnstyle and basically you just jibbed in .The first in was fat cath it was a freezing night and she was wearing a knee length dress with some black stockings and some big coat .
 

when the jibbing started some of the Russian Army stepped forward ,but by now fat cath was on defcon 2 and defcon 1 been the worst ,she was facking this facking that and basically threw her sen to limbo under a gate with her dress riding up and all and sundry getting a eye full ,it seemed that Even the Russian Army backed off and  everyone was laughing their tits off. 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Bristol City in the FA cup around 1990/91 stands out for me.

It was sunny and warm here in London when we set out yet when we arrived it was windy with sleet which made it unpleasant as we were only wearing CFC shirts.

We had gone with the independent coaches for the first time as opposed to trains and then found we were the only two to be wearing shirts, everyone else wasn't wearing any colours though perhaps some had the enamel club badges.

Once we arrived about 30 chaps all wearing tops and jackets with no CFC shirts and all looking short and fit  went one way and we with a few others went off to the ground.

Inside the ground a big chap comes up to me, looing like the Harry Enfield character, Kevin and asks where our firm is. I looked at him and recognised him as a young cousin of my old girlfriend. Said I didn't have a clue and asked him why he wanted to know. He told me Bristol fans had approached him and asked where our firm was. We got interrupted by other fans that had been attacked by Bristol fans outside the ground who said when they went to retaliate the police suddenly stopped them, they were not happy. 

As more fans came in it developed into a great turn out and electric atmosphere, coins being thrown by the City fans and not just sticks but lumps of celery being thrown towards the pitch. The weather was grim as we just had shirts on yet as the terrace was so packed it got warmer.

 At the end of the depressing game (lost 3-1 and I recall Graham Roberts looked very fed up) the gates were locked, about 20 chaps shoulder charged these metal gates. The police came up behind them and pulled their truncheons the guys hit the gates again and they broke.....a big cheer erupted behind us as the away end started coming down the steps  and for a moment I wondered if the police were going to get battered and then I noticed the BBC cameras on a crane do a swivel and then point down towards us. The police then smartly withdrew their truncheons and moved away.

Back on the coach all the others came back and the group that had set off all had digs, cuts and grazes. They didn't speak much except for when the radio said something about a Northern Irish hunger striker dying and then they roared almost in unison.  Me and my friend looked at each other and both thought the strength of that reaction from this quiet group was strange,

The next away match we had booked to go on the club train and as we approached there loads of police  came into view with video cameras taping all of us and I couldn't help but think this related to the small group on the coaches at Bristol.

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I'd hazard a guess that to this day there's many a blue wakes up sweating after dreaming about that day at Ashton Gate. It was the first awayday for my little bruv, who'd have been 11 or 12 then. Drove down from MK in the morning to pick him up at Hammersmith Odeon, beautiful day, warm and sunny. If I remember correctly it was already pissing it down by the time we parked up. Very moody atmosphere around that day, and we probably parked in the wrong spot, but all I can remember outside the ground is little mobs of Bristol lads looking for their fun. Horrible day all round.

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14 minutes ago, MKBlue said:

I'd hazard a guess that to this day there's many a blue wakes up sweating after dreaming about that day at Ashton Gate. It was the first awayday for my little bruv, who'd have been 11 or 12 then. Drove down from MK in the morning to pick him up at Hammersmith Odeon, beautiful day, warm and sunny. If I remember correctly it was already pissing it down by the time we parked up. Very moody atmosphere around that day, and we probably parked in the wrong spot, but all I can remember outside the ground is little mobs of Bristol lads looking for their fun. Horrible day all round.

Haha, yes it was grim.

Think that was the biggest crowd they ever had at Ashton gate. I think we also played 5 at the back on that muddy ground and torn apart on the counter.

I spoke briefly to one of quiet chaps saying that it looked like had had some fun, and he said they had got late to the ground and then headed over to the right of the away end to where the Bristol fans were. It looked from where I was that there was skirmishing between their fans and ours all throughout the match. 

 

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Aderletch v cfc in a CL group qualifying game quite a few years ago.went across with a big group of cfc and we was all booked 

into a holiday inn . The deed had been done and we was all sat in the hotels bar having a pint before heading out into Brussels .

belive it or not a Fulham Police deployment of about six or so officers were then noticed at the checking in desk ,and one of the lads had caught a officers name and room number during the check in prosess .

while the bobbys were all upstairs dropping their gear off into the rooms the bar downstairs was now rammed with 30+ cfc all drinking 

on a certian name and room number ,quite a few dishes of soup was been added to the room bill.

all the rooozers came down and had to walk throu the bar AS they went out onto helpingbthe belgium rozzers with football Police Crowd cobtroll duty ,while the cfc lads were still adding to the room bill.

Think the room tab was running for best part of an hour beforebwe all left the holiday inn into the city on the lash.

we all woke up the next day and sat in the hotel bar having swift halfs ,but we was all paying the correct way now  but the Police officer  was overhead saying ‘ i have not had any drinks on my room bill never mind all those soups ‘ the whole bar just fell about laughing .

 

where there is a will there is a way 

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Euro’s could be eventful. QF CL at Munich - the old Olympic Stadium 2005. Flew out from London City Airport, a few of the lads putting them away at 6.00AM

Drinking on the flight, drop bags, straight out on the lash. A couple of them come about four o’clock decided they needed to go back to the hotel for a lie down. They both slept through their alarms and woke up midway through the second half.

Champions League v Marseille 99. We rented a villa in St Tropez. It was March and nothing was open. After a day or so of kicking our heeels, three of us peeled off and caught a cab to Niece. As we were leaving one fella came running out holding their equivalent of Yellow Pages “ You’d be mad to go. They’ve got three pages of brasses in here”

I also remember someone bribing a ceremonial soldier to vacate his sentry box in Copenhagen so he could shag a local he’d picked up.

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Loads of stories to tell. This one is the best as it involves our good friends from N17.

Used to go to football and we used to lets just say "steam into" the ground without paying home or away. Courtesy of someone printing very good look alike tickets for the top of the East stand.. Normal games no one noticed. Big games. 300 odd extra had the old bill scratching their heads.

Anyway one year at n17 we got there early walked round 5 of us for a bit and noticed at the paxton end a turnstile was open no one on it. The 5 of us jumped the turnstile, last one over was noticed. We split up and stood with some spuds already in  ( we found out this at the time was their members end) anyway all 5 of us stood out. One by one we were thrown out.

Anyway on our own i went to were their club shop was, the old bill as it was getting near kickover were getting edgy and linking arms and checking tickets. I got through the old bill and found meself outside the stand opposite the shelf. This was were their disabled supporters went. I noticed were they went in and noticed most had carers that stewards or old bill were not checking. So i grabs me chance grab the bars of some disabled fellas chair and walks in, got straight in no questions asked. You can imagine the bloke in the chair looking round at me to look at his new carer. Anyway when in the stand says good bye to my new Israeli friend  and said see you later *** i am off. The match was all ticket and it was great not to pay em.

 

Another good one was Watford away. It was a miday kick off i think. The hospitol is next door so we have gone through there (why i dont know) outside the ground a camera crew was there as it was on tele i dont think it was live. They are taking stuff upstairs into the stand. Anyway grab our chance and take boxes etc off the crews and carry em up with them. Guess they thought we were additional help. Anyway they are taking it up to Brian Moore (bless him) and Jimmy Greaves they were doing the commentry in a corporate box right on the half way line. To gain access to were they were was through this box so no one was using it. We stayed in that box and courtesy of Thames Tv had a fantastic day. To be fair Brian Moore was as good as Gold and so was Jimmy Greaves though i must admit i do not like anyone who leaves Chelsea and plays for those n17 tossers. So gave Jimmy stick, until he said leave me alone and we wont grass you up. So i did and a great day was had with Thames Tv.

Lots more may tell em one day........Mr King maybe i should write a book. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

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8 minutes ago, Londons Finest said:

Another good one was Watford away. It was a miday kick off i think. The hospitol is next door so we have gone through there (why i dont know) outside the ground a camera crew was there as it was on tele i dont think it was live. They are taking stuff upstairs into the stand. Anyway grab our chance and take boxes etc off the crews and carry em up with them. Guess they thought we were additional help. Anyway they are taking it up to Brian Moore (bless him) and Jimmy Greaves they were doing the commentry in a corporate box right on the half way line. To gain access to were they were was through this box so no one was using it. We stayed in that box and courtesy of Thames Tv had a fantastic day. To be fair Brian Moore was as good as Gold and so was Jimmy Greaves though i must admit i do not like anyone who leaves Chelsea and plays for those n17 tossers. So gave Jimmy stick, until he said leave me alone and we wont grass you up. So i did and a great day was had with Thames Tv.

 

That last bit about Moore and Greaves makes me think of the occasional fan that appears up close to the TV presenters studio and larks about.

 

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Late 1970s the gates were locked at QPR, there were about 30 of us in small groups milling around outside with seeming no point of entry. We walked up past the main entrance an on up the road past the ground coming the other way was a small group of Chelsea struggling with a heavy 22ft timber ladder which they said they had liberated from outside a house.

With a bit of effort we manhandled the ladder up the road and lifted into place a the corner of the away end about 30 of us scrambled up the ladder and managed to get into the ground. Watched from near the corner flag where Stan Bowles was getting more than some stick.

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On 22/02/2020 at 12:16, Londons Finest said:

Loads of stories to tell. This one is the best as it involves our good friends from N17.

Used to go to football and we used to lets just say "steam into" the ground without paying home or away. Courtesy of someone printing very good look alike tickets for the top of the East stand.. Normal games no one noticed. Big games. 300 odd extra had the old bill scratching their heads.

Anyway one year at n17 we got there early walked round 5 of us for a bit and noticed at the paxton end a turnstile was open no one on it. The 5 of us jumped the turnstile, last one over was noticed. We split up and stood with some spuds already in  ( we found out this at the time was their members end) anyway all 5 of us stood out. One by one we were thrown out.

Anyway on our own i went to were their club shop was, the old bill as it was getting near kickover were getting edgy and linking arms and checking tickets. I got through the old bill and found meself outside the stand opposite the shelf. This was were their disabled supporters went. I noticed were they went in and noticed most had carers that stewards or old bill were not checking. So i grabs me chance grab the bars of some disabled fellas chair and walks in, got straight in no questions asked. You can imagine the bloke in the chair looking round at me to look at his new carer. Anyway when in the stand says good bye to my new Israeli friend  and said see you later *** i am off. The match was all ticket and it was great not to pay em.

 

Another good one was Watford away. It was a miday kick off i think. The hospitol is next door so we have gone through there (why i dont know) outside the ground a camera crew was there as it was on tele i dont think it was live. They are taking stuff upstairs into the stand. Anyway grab our chance and take boxes etc off the crews and carry em up with them. Guess they thought we were additional help. Anyway they are taking it up to Brian Moore (bless him) and Jimmy Greaves they were doing the commentry in a corporate box right on the half way line. To gain access to were they were was through this box so no one was using it. We stayed in that box and courtesy of Thames Tv had a fantastic day. To be fair Brian Moore was as good as Gold and so was Jimmy Greaves though i must admit i do not like anyone who leaves Chelsea and plays for those n17 tossers. So gave Jimmy stick, until he said leave me alone and we wont grass you up. So i did and a great day was had with Thames Tv.

Lots more may tell em one day........Mr King maybe i should write a book. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Horse on fella ,good reads and the mMoore  the better 

 

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Back end of 82/83 season, I'd been working in the morning and went to the Bridge on a Fizzy moped, parking up at the motorbike bay next to the Stamford Bridge Arms/ Rising Sun/ Butchers Hook.

Bumped into my defacto cousin, had a couple of jars, they trundled off to the East Upper and I said I'd meet them up there ( occasionally they'd sit in the wide open spaces during nothing games and play cards and have a puff)

Some copper as I was queuing clocked my crash helmet and told me I couldn't take it in the ground- I went back towards the bike and decided to leave it a dustbin in someone's front garden nearby.

Got in the East Upper, first half passed without incident, second half I decided to have a tug on a Bob Marley ( first time ever, didn't even smoke fags) giggling away.....had some more etc 

Next thing a stewards waking me up " you cant stay here mate, the games finished"

Staggered back to me bike, spewed up, realised I was in no position to ride home to lied down on a low wall to recover. I woke up and it was getting dark. Attempted to find my crash helmet: I'd either forgotten what dustbin I'd left it in or someone had chored it; was rooting through someone's bin when the front opened, words to the effect of " piss off or I'll call the law"

I think I got about half ten, straight to bed. The one and only time I've ridden a moped to football funnily enough  

 

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Excellent story Ewell ,I can’t believe there are too many mopeds to football stories ,mind you I recall in that Italian game a few years back a scooter was thrown down from one of the tiers so imagine if you had got yours into the ground,lobbing it towards the pitch from the east stand top tier ,brilliant 

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