Boredom Threshold

[Mike O]

The longest and most pretentious piece of crap I've ever seen was Magnolia.

Some film rules in the Oliver household include avoiding any film which...

1. Has Robin Williams in it

2. Has Jim Carey in it

3. Has Tom Hanks in it in a funny role

4. Is described in the marketing spiel as 'zany'

5. Has Bob de Niro in it trying to be funny

6. Has Dustin Hoffman in it and was made post Kramer vs Kramer

7. Was directed by Guy Ritchie

8. Has Mel Gibson having a go at the British in it

9. Is called 'Green Street'

10. Has any american actor trying to do a British accent in it.

 

[andy]

Another one just sprung to mind ...

The Body Guard... old quivery lips herself.. what a load of utter cr*p .. probably got that song in my head for the rest of the day now :-(

and you got to be kidding about the original Star Wars Trilogy.. one of the best ever.. .. but I think this is a generation thing I was 7 when my brother took me to the first Star Wars film when it was first released and I was completely hooked forever.

Oh another one just popped into my mind that will probably be like the Star Wars to the current Generation.. Harry F***** Potter and that other one Bored of the Rings....

 

[Tim]

Any Adam Sandler film. Watching a grown man pretend to be a child over and over and over again just has no appeal to me whatsoever.

I would also say that Junior (the film in which Arnie gets pregnant) is comfortably the worst film I have ever paid to see in the cinema.

 

[Lofty]

If ever there was a case of the Emporer's New Close, then surely Derek Jarman's Blue is it. In case you don't know, this "film" is a constant blue image with a voice over. I don't know who the voice over is by because I've never brought myself to watch it. Silent films are one thing - but imageless? And yet to read your average pretentiousto the point of inanity critic, this is a masterpiece.

No it's not. It's a piece of self-indulgent crap.

 

[ivorycoast]

another film which is the worst movie of all time is called snatch. What a load of complete sh*t. Those americans can't make movies at all!

 

[bonetti]

another film which is the worst movie of all time is called snatch. What a load of complete sh*t. Those americans can't make movies at all!

Ermm - the Coen brothers

 

[Lofty]

Even worse: Gone With The Wind. Which I actually managed to sit through once. Never again. Never in a month of Sundays. Unfathomably described by so many people as the best film ever made, it's nothing of the sort. Absolute drivel, the biggest, longest piece of overblown garbage it's ever been my misfortune to endure.

 

[Chippy]

I watched half of Rocnrolla last night...not a great copy which never helps but I thought it was total garbage,

Mike's anything directed by Guy Richie is looking like a good call to me.

 

[BlueBeard]

I've never yet managed to sit through 'Dr.Zhivago', I'd thoroughly recommend it for anyone suffering from insomnia.

 

[dkw]

Ermm - the Coen brothers

the exception to the rule...

anyone else sick of film critics on tv or written media with their noses well and truly in the air? if it isnt a danish, subtitled love story crossing all genres and leaves you questioning your own morality, they just arent interested. they cant understand that some of us quite like stupid comedys, or detach your brain action films... f**king pompus w**kers....

 

[cassiya]

The longest and most pretentious piece of crap I've ever seen was Magnolia.Some film rules in the Oliver household include avoiding any film which...

1. Has Robin Williams in it

2. Has Jim Carey in it

3. Has Tom Hanks in it in a funny role

4. Is described in the marketing spiel as 'zany'

5. Has Bob de Niro in it trying to be funny

6. Has Dustin Hoffman in it and was made post Kramer vs Kramer

7. Was directed by Guy Ritchie

8. Has Mel Gibson having a go at the British in it

9. Is called 'Green Street'

10. Has any american actor trying to do a British accent in it.

Totally agree with your list

I would like to add

11. Has Keanu Reeves in it

12. Having a Brit as a villain

 

[Gem]

The Body Guard... old quivery lips herself.. what a load of utter cr*p .. probably got that song in my head for the rest of the day now :-(

Go listen to the Dolly Parton (original) version - the woman is a saint, I'll hear nothing said otherwise.

 

[Ruh Buh Juh]

Any thing made by the Scary Movie people is utter garbage - Epic and Date Movie = worst films I have ever seen. Scary Movie 3 + 4 right behind them.

Oh and have any of you lot seen Sunshine?

It's been given brilliant reviews, 4 stars + on nearly all of the ones I've read, but I found it absolute bull, in all honesty, worst climax to a film I've ever seen.

 

[Maksimov]

Those americans can't make movies at all!

That's probably a bit tongue in cheek, but...

The Coens were already mentioned, but I'd also like to mention Francis Ford Coppola, Martin Scorsese, Terry Gilliam, Wes Anderson, Alexander Payne, Darren Aronofsky...and that's just a couple of names that spring to mind.

As for films that you don't want to sit through...I have a feeling most of you wouldn't enjoy Andrei Tarkovsky's Stalker. It's one of those rare films that I've seen in a theater and seen people walk out of the screening midway through. I didn't walk out, though. I thought it was fairly interesting(from a professional point of view), but I know it's definitely not a film that you will watch if you want some light entertainment.

Brotherhood of the Wolf is one to miss. Just horrible. Life is Beautiful is VERY overrated. Roberto Benigni spends good part of the movie being just plain annoying. Not "Adam Sandler in Little Nicky" -annoying, but very annoying all the same. Everyone knows Adam Sandler movies are bad(I've heard Punch Drunk Love is pretty decent, though), but Life is Beautiful is supposed to be good and Benigni got himself an Best Actor Oscar for the role. It's like giving FIFA World Player of the Year -award to Materazzi.

 

[mad_mac]

Punch Drunk Love is Sandlers only saving grace

 

[moi]

Life is Beautiful[/url] is VERY overrated. Roberto Benigni spends good part of the movie being just plain annoying.

Oh Maksimov - you've just plummeted to the bottom of my good taste list. It is not possible to overrate Life is Beautiful. Anyone who has not seen it should watch it and leap to its defence!

Agree about Dr Zhivago and Gone With the Wind. At the time Dr Zhivago was released people raved about the scenery shots - but it's not a travel documentary for god's sake!

 

[Maksimov]

Moi...you confuse me. You said, that "ALL heart-wrenching dramas are crap!", but you adore Life is Beautiful. For what it's worth, I think it's just Benigni's embarrassingly desperate attempt to be a modern day Chaplin.

 

[moi]

Moi...you confuse me. You said, that "ALL heart-wrenching dramas are crap!", but you adore Life is Beautiful. For what it's worth, I think it's just Benigni's embarrassingly desperate attempt to be a modern day Chaplin.

I suppose I don't look on Life is Beautiful as a "heart-wrenching drama" in the sense of Titanic etc. It's much much more than that.

Sorry to be confusing but I am a woman, when all's said and done.

 

[Lofty]

I liked Stalker, but it's the kind of film you have to be in the right mood to watch. I also thought Solaris was vastly superior to the George Clooney remake - which when compared to the original, is basically sh*te. Same goes for Vanilla Sky. In fact, the entire trend of remaking foreign language masterpieces in Hollywood belongs here. The Magnificent Seven is perhaps an exception to the rule, but that was a while back. Recent Hollywood remakes are without exception, second rate crap. At best.

As for Brotherhood of The Wolf. Monica Bellucci is in it and that's (almost) good enough for me. I've never seen Life Is Beautiful; I just didn't fancy it somehow.

 

[Maksimov]

I liked Stalker, but it's the kind of film you have to be in the right mood to watch.

Absolutely. I've actually seen it twice in a theater and even though I wasn't in the right mood the first time I saw it, I was talked into watching it another time in a Finnish Film Archive screening and I thought it was good. It's also one of those films that really should be seen in a theater.