Liverpool FC rocked by fan survey
In a shock fan survey issued today, Liverpool FC have been left reeling with the news that their fans are no longer considered 'The Greatest Fans in The World' (TM Clive Tyldesly).
Having rightly claimed that mantle for the last one hundred years, the 'reds' are astonished to see themselve positioned at no.11 in the league, a place equivalent to just being at the top of 'page 2 of Ceefax'.
No amount of witty bantering, dedicated championing of their 'amazing history' nor the occasional tear whilst singing a Gerry and The Pacemakers hit could raise themselves from the stunning slot of averageness.
Equally stunning is the fact that their predilection for gate-storming, mugging children, pub-wrecking, football disasters and general levels of amazing thickness has not given them a coveted 'bottom 3' place.
A club insider stated that the no.11 slot was actually totally in keeping with the management's decision to 'really take ownership of the concept of "football mediocrity"', and follows perfectly the club's selection and performance policies of the last 2 years.
'We're just delighted to have totally average fans' said the insider. 'It really takes the pressure of Rafa and the boys and helps them keep focussed on our very realistic Inter Toto aspirations'.
A quick survey about how 'Kop' fans felt about their position in the table (carried out on their forums today) revealed that 93.6% stated that they felt the result was 'about right'....