Peter Crouch

Sounds like this one may have just come from someones arse, from SSN

CROUCH UPDATE

Our reporters have been doing some digging and have been told there has been no approach from Chelsea for Peter Crouch.

We understand Stoke aren’t aware of any interest from Chelsea, and they’d be reluctant to let Crouch leave without a replacement being lined up.

Crouch turns 37 at the end of this month, and signed a one-year contract extension at Stoke before Christmas. 
It's smoke screen, he's coming!! In 2004 we signed one of England's finest young talents who was a Chelsea fan, take a bow Joe Cole, now in 2018 we are signing another Chelsea fan who is 37 and 7ft tall and scores 10 goals in 5 years, and next month we play Barcelona. Bring em on, take a bow Peter crouch!!

 
I dont believe this one i think its just the press having a bit of a laugh with it all and knowing everyone will read it.

 
Complete communication breakdown, Antonio asked the club “can you buy me a new couch” and well...

 
I've heard that Conte's deodorant got stuck at the back of a high shelf in the dressing room at Cobham so we're searching for someone tall enough to reach it.

 
Next time we meet up it is a welcome to Stamford Bridge retirement home ;) Who is next, Johnny Wheelchair. 

This is of cause a joke. PL has become a soap opera.

 
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I believe the Carroll story but Crouch is definitely a wind up. Stoke also deny that there has been any approach.

Cue Chelsea sign Crouch for £35m headline tomorrow 

 
If the board is reading this, sign up Bas Dost you incompetent mugs!  :laugh2:

(PS i'm available for consultancy work)  :wink:

 
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He was a ballboy at Stamford Bridge, I'm sure it would be a dream come true for him. 

Pretty sure this would mean that Conte would end up playing Hazard as the target striker though...

I still don't get why we're not in for Giroud if Aubameyang goes to Arsenal. This January reminds me of when Big Phil was manager and we gave him Quaresma in January and sacked him three weeks later. 

 
I would feel sorry for anybody that actually thinks this is anything other than a media windup/sticking the knife in but life must be somewhat liberating actually being that dumb.

 
Sad to see how far The Telegraph has fallen ... flirting with Daily Mail territory now ...

 
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