In light of the ...er... revelation that the big man has somehow managed to get into the England squad, I thought I'd share this drinking game with you that might go some way to softening the blow of having to watch him lumber around in SA! This was taken from a Villa fan, but it could still work in the summer!

THE RULES:

Emile is seen walking anywhere on the pitch - two fingers of alcohol

Emile is seen sprinting anywhere on the pitch - four fingers of alcohol

Emile pulls a face reminicent of Eyore from Winnie the Pooh because he hasn't been given the ball - Three fingers of alcohol

Reference is made to Emile's previous playing days under Martin O'Neill - Last one to shout out 'FOXES' has to down their drink

Emile's ability to 'hold up the ball' is mentioned - Three fingers of alcohol

Emile comes back to defend a free kick/corner and makes a defensive mare - Last one to shout out 'DONKEY' drinks four fingers of alcohol

Emile falls over (anywhere on the pitch) - half of all drinks must be downed

Emile heads the ball in a directionless fashion, aimed for no one in particular resulting in the ball going out of play - 3 shots

Emile scores - all drinks must be downed.

If Emile's England days are brought up by a commentator - 1 shot

If Emile's potential as a candidate for South Africa are brought up - 3 shots

Every time Martin O'Neill repeats the same tactical substitution of Emile for 'Big John' Carew at around the 70th minute - Everyone must down their drinks followed by a standing ovation.

Emile misses a sitter or trips over the ball - 3 shots

Emile is caught offside - 3 fingers

If Emile repeats his "DJ" or "Putter" celebration – Last one to shout out ‘IVANHOE’ downs their drink

Any reference to his 'Glory days' when partnering Michael Owen: 1 shot

Emile attempts a bicycle kick - Down all drinks

Emile SCORES with a bicycle kick – Another round of drinks in and downed.

A commentator claims that forwards ‘Love to play with Heskey’ – Three fingers

Emile scores a hat trick - 3 pints downed then 3 shots downed, followed by a standing ovation.

Feel free to suggest your own rules...

Emile scores - all drinks must be downed.

why did someone go to the bother of making that a rule?

why did someone go to the bother of making that a rule?

It's like making a list of all the stuff you'd do if you won the lottery, it'll never happen but it's nice to know what would happen if you did.