It's all here http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Liverpool

Liverpool FC are apparently the best football club in the world the Socialist Republic of Scouseland which is a independent workshy state, occupying the entire region of Merseyside and lays claim much of surrounding area along the Mersey delta where a large percentage of the population is ethnically Scouse. The City of Liverpool functions as the de facto capital of the territory.

Above: A Liverpudlian Druid meeting in full swing.

You can tell a scouser apart from a crowd by the way he is trying to break into the most expensive looking car.This is a typical scouser. As You can see, He has an abnormally low forehead and a permenant scowl. They are generally very ugly with large protrusions from the side of the head called "lugs". Many other people could confuse them for ears but do not say this as it will confuse and probably anger the scouser leading to death.

Rest of this TRUE STORY here

Sorry I forgot - The Scousers Lullaby:

"Sign on, sign on, with pen in your hand And you'll neeeveer get a job, You'll NEEEEVEER get a job."