Rap Scallion

I'd rather keep my own counsel, if it's all the same to you.

Allow me to intervene on Blue Sun Tzu's behalf, if I may: 1. You've missed the point by about three hundred thousand acres, don't you know. If The Famous Chelsea have contravened rules and regulations, as Lens Football Club believe they have, the beautiful game's world governing body, name of FIFA, are permitted to impose a ban the length of which lasts two windows. Transfer windows I'm speaking about. 2. Perhaps Blue Sun Tzu possesses the capacity to formulate his own independent view rather than blindly believe The Famous Chelsea can do no wrong and the beautiful game's world governing body, name of FIFA, must be driven by an anti-The Famous-Chelsea agenda. No doubt if and when the day comes that the ban is upheld on appeal, you'll still be crying foul. I think this proves who's making the assumptions around here, beyond any reasonable doubt, that person being you. It may just be that the beautiful game's world governing body, name of FIFA, want to do something about this issue, and want to make the beautiful game fairer in general, and have decided to impose their rules, just as they have in what has become known as The Eduardo Affair. Eduardo dived don't you know, and on that basis, The Arsenal Football Club have no grounds for appeal, as their representative on the pitch, name of Eduardo, broke the rules, and the world's governing body, name of FIFA, have imposed the length of ban they are permitted to under their rules. They can't ban Eduardo for more than two games, just as they can't ban The Famous Chelsea from purchasing football players for more than two windows. Transfer windows I'm speaking about. 3. You do Blue Sun Tzu a grave disservice. Because he's formed his own opinion doesn't make him anti-Chelsea, as you rather childishly put it, it makes him an independent thinker of great distinction, one whose thoughts aren't blinded by his allegiance. 4. The Famous Chelsea's error it appears to me, wasn't that they contravened the rules, as surely they did (and as many others do), rather it's that they failed to placate Lens Football Club and keep them schtum, so to speak. One can only assume those in charge of the recruitment of Mr Kakuta are not the brightest buttons in the box. You're clearly happy with the work Peter K and Franky A are doing, which begs the question, what are you drinking, and may I have ten gallons of the stuff. Barman, please. 5. Rather than Blue Sun Tzu being willing to assume the worst of The Famous Chelsea, it appears to this observer that he's only being realistic, whereas you appear willing to assume the best of The Famous Chelsea, blindly one might add, and to assume the worst of the beautiful game's world governing body, name of FIFA. I wonder on which basis you assume the best of The Famous Chelsea, and in particular those two impeccable pillars of society, Peter K and Franky A? The fact that followers of rival football clubs may have their hands rubbed in glee as we speak has no bearing on the matter at all. The Famous Chelsea have been caught with their trousers down, rather stupidly in my opinion. Lens Football Club carried through their threat to complain, and, bearing that in mind, the beautiful game's world governing body, name of FIFA, chose to get tough with a big-money club, probably rightly, as something had to be done about this unsavoury issue, just as it had to be done about falling to the ground like one's been shot. Have The Famous Chelsea been hung out to dry? Possibly. Do The Famous Chelsea have a part to play in that? Definitely. That's what Blue Sun Tzu appears to me to be saying, quite reasonably. You will see that The Arsenal Football Club's appeal gets laughed out of court, and may possibly lead to the ban being lengthened, as its permitted to be should the appeal be deemed frivolous. Similarly, The Famous Chelsea's appeal will fail, though won't be deemed frivolous, as there appears more cause for grievance in this case, given that the penalty imposed has more devastating consequences. Hope that helps and please think before you post in future.

I'm a long-time admirer of The Famous Chelsea but on the matter in hand, namely the sanction imposed upon The Famous Chelsea by the game's world governing body, FIFA, I'm afraid the club seem to me to be bang to rights, to coin a well-worn phrase. It matters not a jot whether other football clubs commit the same crime, what matters, it appears to me, is that Lens Football Club complained, and FIFA have been found to tally with their view. Without being armed with all the facts, it appears Lens had just cause for complaint, and it appears the two bungling buffoons in charge of recruitment showed scant regard for the rules, not for the first time it must be said. I refer of course to The Dane With No Name and Pete The Cheat, both of whom Mr Abramovich, The Famous Chelsea's erstwhile owner, recruited rather controversially himself. Whether The Famous Chelsea have been singled out is largely irrelevant. Wrong is wrong, that's what I was always told, and if The Famous Chelsea wish to emerge from this shoddy, shady, and shabby episode with any credit, they should do exactly as the veritable gentleman (I refer to Blue Sun Tzu) suggested, and take the hit on the chin, as it were, admitting their fault and pledging to do better in future. At least that would show a degree of humility. I see no reason why the the pick of the world's kids should all end up in Blighty before they've even reached puberty. This is trading in children, as far as I'm aware, and it's not nice, particularly for the football clubs which invest in their development, for the fans in those countries who may wish to witness some of their own kids playing football, and not good for the kids themselves I believe, who should be nurtured as long as possible in their homelands, as far as it's reasonable to expect them to do so. If other clubs get punished in the same way, so much the better. The punishment handed out by FIFA is in accordance with their guidelines on the matter, and in the (albeit differing) case of Roma Football Club, the Italianos were denied purchasing for two whole windows, hence the reason their appeal was successful. Unless The Famous Chelsea have a trick up their sleeve, I see no benefit from their appealing the issue. The Famous Chelsea may consider themselves unfortunate to be the ones carrying the can, as it were, but that's just tough, to use a common everyday phrase.

Let's start with Cranky Franky. Whom amongst you is endeared to this fellow? He was Director of Football at Tottenham Hotspurs don't you know, where he undermined a Gallic fellow name of Santini, by appointing his mucker Martin Jollypop. Santini objected to him because he wanted his job, which as it transpired, he got. Santini quit before he even got his feet under the carpet. Spanky Monkey was spotted on Mr Abramovich's yacht while still an employee of Tottenham Hotspurs. In dispute between Mr Abramovich and the manager, Mr Mourinho, The Plain Dane kept his bread very much buttered. It was clear that Mr Mourinho was battling more than just opposing sides, he was battling unscrupulous fellows within. Shame. Mr Mourinho was rather talented. He tended to know his best eleven. Recently, when Internazionale played the Famous Chelsea across the pond, Mr Mourinho shook hands with everyone on the opposing side, all except Cranky Spanky. Hanky Panky's recruitment drive has not only been rather underwhelming, it's also been rather costly and caused the good name of The Famous Chelsea to be dragged through the trough, making enemies of lesser clubs in Bristol and in Leeds, to name but two. "What a palaver" as the oinks say. Prior to Hanky's w**ky arrival, The Famous Chelsea managed to produce the current England capitano no less. One wonders if The Dane With No Name is more trouble than he's worth. How the followers of Tottenham Hotspurs must miss him. Sometimes in life one reaps what one sows, so The Good Lord tells me on the rare occasions we meet. Roman may well wish to ponder upon that ruse. Now. Pete The Cheat. He's courted controversy before himself, what with his cleverly concocted capture of Cashley Cole. He denied ever meeting the young lothario, just as he'd previously denied ever meeting that old lothario, name of Svennis. If you're going to lie, at least be good at it, as Mr Rap Scallion's ma used to say. Here's a man intent on boosting The Chelsea Brand, when if he really wanted to make the club more popular, all he'd need to do is totter off. Here's a man whom every time he opens his mouth, Chelsea fans the world over tug at their muttonchop whiskers. If this man were to stop going into work, and were to stop talking to anyone, his effectiveness would increase tenfold. Put him in a cage, gag him, and give him a pay rise. How those followers of Manchester must rue the day he ever deserted them, poor sods. Peter K and Franky A went to Lens to snap up a young buck, armed only with blank cheques and blank heads. Pity Bill and Ben weren't available. Still, in the face of a mauling from every gutter hack to every outraged moralist the world over, there's always Sprucey Brucey to stand up for The Famous Chelsea and sock it back to them. There's a rottweiler if ever I saw one.