expendable

Thanks to hospitable invitations from classical honest football clubs throughout the globe, and intensive attentions from classical cynical media throughout the globe, I, Fernando Torres, gallantly manifest that, I, the senior, will STAY, with conventional lucrative wages pending to be in my bank account week by week. Just stuff me in the reserve team！ (Were I)Mourinho: Está bem, I'm just anticipating your such an exact word! Now, El Nino is certainly our loyal soldier. To embody his loyalty, we specifically arrange the following treatment on him next season: No.1, Premier League? Oh, too exhausting and cheap, how could it defile your noble stature and exquisite face? So we only let you make nine appearances. No worry, not really playing on the pitches. In accordance with your loyalty, we just need you keep warming-up off the touch line, for...... about 90 mins, 9 * 90 = 810, now you get 810 mins in total to flaunt your stature and face against the cams. What, now? No,no,no, the weather is currently mild, how can it match your masculinity and grittiness? It must be in winter and plus the time when horrifying blizzard prevails! Oops, there is malfunction with geothermal system off the touch line by the way. No.2, the youngsters are the future of our club. Thus you should work with him shoulder by shoulder! Attention, "shoulder by shoulder" indicates that you should keep warming-up off the pitch simultaneously even when you are in substitution. No.3, Cup this, Copa that... they are too suffering, you don't even have to participate at all since they will injure you! But, as an ambassador of our club, to solidify the team, emotionally move the UK, the Commonwealth, and the globe with your loyalty, you should keep following the expedition of our team! And as the poor in spirit suggests, we will exclusively book the most economic rooms in those cities for your lodging! No.4, What about ordinary times? Training! However, in order to demonstrate assiduity of you fulfilling the contract, a martyring set of trainings is tailor-made just for you! When the teammates are going with their routine, you, back and forth along the lane......turn CARTWHEEL! Your cartwheel will be our entertaining program for the ceremonies celebrating our champions. You know, eternal practice makes it perfect, isn't it? Moreover, train from breakfast to supper. Additionally there will be extra training time which totally is, two lessons per day and six days per week (except the home match-days and away trips ). We have already delegated a dozen of my assistant managers to couch you alternatively. Furthermore, we will fix up London major newspapers and pap... professional journalist shooting you while composing grand football star biography for you. So, don't forget to say hello to outside the window whenever you wake up every single morning. PS. could any pals translate the content above into fluent Spanish and Portuguese? Then I will print and present this letter personally to the CFC, thanks.