the first one called filipe the second called carlo. filipe gets a job he doesn't really want even though it pays a fantastic salary. so he comes up with a plan.

"i know" he says to himself in portugeuse. "i'll take the job and work at it for a few months, you know, just to cover my back". then i'll sit back and let things fall apart because those people are so STUPID they'll write a clause into the contract saying they have to give me a few million quid if they sack me even if it's obvious to everyone i'm making a complete balls up of it".

the plan works like a charm. so he phones his mate carlo. "hey carlo" he says " you wanna make yourself a few million quid for a few months? ok listen up here's a how you do it".

That's really good

That's really good

i'm glad you think so.

now it's up to the second bloke to prove whether he really wants the job.

I agree.

and there's no better way of proving you want something than whipping out the old felt tip pens and defacing an old photo album to make a lovely colourful collage, hopefully with hand written annotations alongside the pics and liberal use of sticky back plastic to bring the entire thing together.

ah. the good old blue peter patented "how to fix what doesn't need fixing in the first place" method. also known as making a balls up just because you can.

.... and as we're now looking financially secure, perhaps it's time we knocked down the old East Stand & built a new luxurious 'state of the art' one? :D