Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has moored his 282ft super yacht at sw**ky Sandbanks peninsula in Poole, Dorset. (Daily Star)

The invite seems to have gone astray Loz, but hopefully my mate ?Arry will see me right later today, then we three can tuck into jellied eels while watching the sun go down over Brownsea Island ?I wonder what the poor people are doing?!

It's a pleasant image. Dorset, 'Arry and Roman, on the port side, deckchairs, open neck shirts, sharing jellied eels, singing songs with the lyrics 'Have a banana' in them and swearing blind the Krays were lovely lads who always asked after your mah.

Cor blimey Loz you are a one and no mistake! Can?t wait to be piped aboard?and I hear Roman?s hired a few Cossack dancers for later, so it?s bound to be a right old knees up!