I've always loved a great football chant. But of course, not being at the grounds, you miss most of the best ones!

But, maybe this thread could help those of us not able to attend matches, with hearing the funniest chants you've heard from around the country?

Here's one to kick it off:

Manchester City supporters roll out the red carpet for their new manager during a preseason friendly:

?If Sven has shagged your wife, clap your hands!?

Some of these are older but still good

To the tune of the venga boys

The Wenger bus is coming

And all the kids are running

Coz Arsene is the driver

He'll sh@g em for a fiver.

For Park Ji-SungPark. to the tune "care free"

Park, Park where ever you may be

You eat dogs in your home country,

But it could be worse

you could be Scouse

Eating rats in your council house!

For Wayne Rooney

He's fat,

He's round,

He rolls along the ground,

Wayne Rooney?

He's fat,

He?s scouse,

He?s gonna rob your house,

Wayne Rooney?

He's near,

He?s far,

He?s gonna rob your car,

Wayne Rooney?

He's fat,

He?s red,

He?ll take your gran to bed,

Wayne Rooney?

One from the game today, started by a very loud guy in the West Lower Gate 6/7:

Pizarro woah

Pizarro woah

He's coming from Peru

He f***ing hates Man U...

And this:

You're going down with the Tottenham, Down with the Tottenham

You're going down with the Tottenham

(To the Brum fans).

Enjoyed the brummies brief song after they equalised of "we're goona win the league, we're gonna win the league, and now your gonna believe us etc"

Got a round of applause from the MHL that one.

Yeah that was pretty funny, they were in good voice for most of the game.

Have to say I particularly enjoyed Malouda's chant (To the tune of 'Follow De Leader': "Florent Malouda Louda Louda Louda, Florent Malouda'). Not funny, but rarely is a song used better.

Other than that, little to report from yesterday's game - aside from singing 'what the f***ing hell was that' at Ashley Cole after his pathetic attempt at goal, which to his credit he acknowledged, and then singing the same song at Drogs after he missed from the halfway line. I used to write weekly chant reports on here many years ago, but now the away fans aren't near the MHL there's a lot less spontaneity. Just the same old favourites week in week out. Oh well...