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Club to cease existence after Moscow Finale


Gem

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Chelsea's proud 103 year History will be cut short in the wake of the club's biggest match on Wednesday night, with emerging reports suggesting the existence of the Londoners will cease to be.

These shocking revelations couldn't have come at a less convenient time for Blues fans, who hope to see their team create History tomorrow in the European show piece, the UEFA Champions League.

Although the reports have yet to be confirmed, we can reveal that there were several reasons to why the club could no longer continue:

1. Frank Lampard moving to Inter, all signed and delivered. We believe he got the time to work out such an illustrious deal in between prayers at his mother's funeral.

2. Roman Abramovich's sudden abandonment from the club. Of course no one in the world would in interested in funded the club should that happen, after all, football is not a business, it is a working class man's game and clubs like Manchester United and Liverpool illustrate that fact.

3. Didier Drogba and Michael Ballack. The unrest in the camp is clear, never have two competitive professionals argued about ho would take responsibility for an important event. If Chelsea were full of players who shunned such acts, or who didn't care, they may have saved their selves

4. In five years time it is believe no mechanical devices will be allowed to play professional sports. Although this puts a dent in Manchester United's "Dive machine 5000" and Liverpool's "Control referee's actions v.3", no one will be affected as much as Chelsea - John Terry, Frank Lampard [who cares he's off], Petr Cech, Michael Essien, Michael Ballack and Didier Drogba have all been described as "bionic" "machine engines" and so on, meaning half the squad would no longer be eligible.

The fans are said to be furious, news of such a scale before a Champion's League final is unheard of. The fact we had this information 3 years ago is irrelevant, the paper could not forsee that the date they released it might have connotations. We must drink from the same water foutain as Arsene Wenger.

For more information, please check ours, and all the other media source's website.

PS- come on Man Utd.

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To say I'm devastated is an understatement icon_sad.gif

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Well, this is awkward!

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