Soulboy

Smelly northerner (whilst picking tripe from his barnet)- officer, I demand that you arrest that Chelsea fan. He deliberately spewed tripe all over us Copper- think yourself lucky your not West Ham. It was jellied eels last week

Quite true LL. ps I pretty sure I spewed it up on the train coming back. Talking of which, here's a thought for you. Lets say you were in the shed upper, and harboured a grudge against the away fans below. Obviously, if you carried out the old Manc trick of emptying a cup of lovely urine onto the away fans you'd get carted off. If however, you'd deliberately swallowed something that would interfere with your stomach, then quite by accident- honest steward I couldn't help it- puked it down on the enemy below- I reckon if you played it cool you'd get away with it. Quite a sophisticated form of revenge that. What twisted minds us Chelsea fans have

Talking of having things given to you at football, at Derby once in the cup- the game where the seats got ripped up, outside the ground before the game, we witnessed an off licence get turned over. One fella walked out carrying an armfull of booty- then handed me a bottle of creme de menthe- horrible looking green stuff, looks like out of carry on screaming. Anyway, I stuck it behind a dustbin, picked it up after the game, and necked it on the special home. It wouldn't have been my tipple of choice but some afternoons you can't be too choosy. 31 years on, thanks for that bottle whoever you are

BF- going back to this complete stranger of a Gooner who gave you a pouch of tobacco, at no time did the old alarm bells start ringing? He weren't dressed up like the leather one in Village People was he?

Your theory makes sense BF- looking back they had a lot of black players- Gus Ceasor, Paul Davis, Rocastle, Wrighty. ps an Arsenal face once told me that Denton used to get over the Spurs before he was a Gooner- don't know what had gone on between them but he used to refer to him as that f...ing y.d. Anyone know?

Talking of which, has anyone got any theories as to how Arsenal became the club of choice for the majority of black lads in London? I've only ever lived South of the river, and have got many black mates,; reckon more of them support Arsenal than Chelsea, Palace, Charlton, Millwall combined. - bit like the modern phenomena of Indians wearing Liverpool shirts, but that's another story. Back to Arsenal, one Boxing Day in about 85 I went to Norwich to watch em- dont know where we were playing that day but took up an offer to from a mate to get a lift up there with a carload of his Gooner mates I'd never met. Cut a long story me guts weren't too clever- previous days brussel sprouts, turkey, tons of beer etc....anyway, I passed wind it that Granada all the way up there, on the packed terrace, then all the way back home again. It was a case of open the windows and freeze to death or chew on it. Strangely enough they never invited me on any more of their trips, not that I'd have gone anyway. That teached em to bring a Chelsea fan along!

Not true about Arsenal. The skinhead era was before my time but many have told me they were a force to be reckoned with back then. Was around for their renaissance in the 80s- they were better at home than away - a lot of their black support from Finsbury Park/Hackney etc didn't travel much for some reason.

Getting away from original thread but around that time got pulled by a local millwall bully- he was a couple of years older than me, me being thirteen- for spraying millwall muppets on a wall. Someone grassed me up and he let me off a hiding providing i went back and sprayed over it. Back I went- changed it to Gordon Jagos muppets! Tosser!

Bleeding hell Big Figure. Bet you needed counselling after that one- bit like the old Vietnam vets- mentally shot to pieces- even after all these years anyone who was out that afternoon ought to be able to get free therapy on the NHS- post traumatic stress disorder. That's South East London for you- I'm definately not inviting any of those loons to my wine and cheese evening next week!

I've been thinking about this one- how many times have you decided against standing your ground and getting splattered, and instead taken the Alan Wells option? This would normally happen when you were away from the mob- when with the firm you might have got scattered, but in my experience rarely did the oppo- normally smelly Northerners, take a vendetta against you personally and sprint after you for a friendly chat. I'm talking getting sussed out, typically after the game, on the way back to the station/your motor. For me this happened at Leeds- had to peg it across that dual carriageway; no green cross code that afternoon Man U- that was a dual carriageway as well- thank f..ck we bumped into a minicab otherwise they'd still be picking up our teeth now. Leicester end of season- a beast of a chap with a ponytail chased me for bleeding ages- I did a terrific road runner impression- me mate reckons he gonna have to put down some seed to get me to stop. The funny thing is, I might look like one, and I knew/know a fair few of the chaps, but I wasn't really ever a proper hooligan. I guess I've only got meself to blame- if I was wearing Clarkes pasties and a beige zip up cardigan none of this would have happened. Ps the geyser at Leicester made Ray Winstone look like June Whitfield

Talking of getting kicked up the arse at spurs, I took a boot up the dung funnel from one of our own- Black W- Was hanging around the Park Lane waiting for a mate when he came up to me asked me if I was alright, then proceeded to kick me up the bourneville bypass- didn't recognise me and thought I was scouting for the opposition. Cheers for that Will. Ps we did have a laugh about it some time later so no grudges

The geyser looks a bit like Frank Macavenny, the tartan twat who played for wet spam. He hair got longer than that and was at least 3 different colours- it used to bounce around a bit too- he looked like a flipping lion. Talking of clobber, anyone remember those chelsea jumpers you could get from the club shop- if you could call it that- circa 81? Navy blue v- neck with a pucka embroided badge. Got into the diamond pringle thing slightly late but picked up a blinder- green, black and grey it was. Wore it to Barnsley away on me 17th birthday, November 82. I sometime lie awake at night wondering whatever happened to that jumper

Against West Brom circa 78- to the tune of Boney M brown girl in the ring Theres a brown turd up my arse, tra la la la la Brown turd up up my arse, tra la la la la la Brown turd up my arse, tra la la la la la It looks like Cyril Regis Followed by Nice one Cyril, Nice one son, Nice one Cyril, Now get back up my bum To the tune of she wore a yellow ribbon She wore, she wore, she wore fishnet stockings, she wore fishnet stockings and stilettos on her feet... And when, I asked her why she wore those stockings, she said its for my client and his name is David Pleat. Ps this was sung after he resigned from Spurs for kerb crawling- filthy sod! To the tune of the start of an Adam Ant song; We are the Whitewall, were going to Bristol, why don't the middle? To Sheffield Utd when they were relegated at ours in the early 90s- Your sh.t, and your going down- then they scored so it became- Your sh.t, and your staying up!

Didn't make that clear- how hot was it in that end at Grimsby- I'm definately getting worse!

For me, it's the 84 team- dont think many people really saw that one coming, other than Dixon no one had heard of any of the new signings- except Derek Johnson who I don't think started a game for us. Loved it all. Had moved on from the specials to a mates motor for always- escort estate with the back seats down, room for 5 of us plus two crates of pills! Talking of the specials, there was never the same amount of people going as coming back- when it got really ram jammed people would up in the luggage racks I remember- when the specials were dry everyone used to pile on with their own concoctions- we used to buy ours off Paul J from kennington-a two litre coke bottle half full with gold watch for a fiver! Anyone remember fellas on the trains with big bags of oranges they'd injected with vodka? Back to 84, how hot was it in that end of ours- a boiling hot day a seriously overcrowded terrace- might be room for a thread there- what's the biggest crushes you've known at football- other than Grimsby in going the Boxing Day games at QPR and Cambridge in 82. Have got quite a few photos from them days ill stick up

Forgot a few more- Gary Stanley in a boozer; nice geyser- I asked him if he could answer a question that had been bugging me for years- remember reading in shoot that Seb Coe and Clive Walker had a race over the length of a pitch- in football boots. Seb Coe said he wouldn't let on who won but they were both dipping for the line. Gary Stanley replied that he didn't have a clue who won but he was quicker than flasher anyway? Was he that quick? He could strike a ball but don't remember him being that rapid. Met Batesey a couple of times, once at an airport- he said he'd just heard that Gullit had lost his first game as Newcastle manager- he was grinning like a Cheshire Cat, probably cause it justified him recently outing him as our gaffer. Steve Kember when he had that bar in Croydon- nice geyser Hasselbank in Wimbledon village with his brother- he had shorts on- massive legs; he must get dogs trying to urinate up em Joey Morris off his head in a nightclub up town. Suppose he's alright but you definately not a frontrunner in the IQ stakes poor sod PS Didn't be used be in animal magic, making all those funny voices? Oh no. Just realised Im getting him mixed up with Johnny Morris. I'm always confusing the two. That's me lot

Met Ossie and Chopper Harris in a bar in Copenhagen prior to a Champions League game in 98- they went out there on their own steam with no connection with the club, and were lively company to say the least- boy did they slaughter me for the colourful shirt I was donning. Gary Chivers more than once when he used to work the taxi rank at Wimbledon Station- he wasn't happy about a former team mate who was working on a where are they now article for a fanzine- he told him don't put me down as a taxi driver because I also do the odd bit of media work- what did his team mate do? Reported to all and sundry that Chivers was working as a taxi driver. Ray Wilkins I met outside San Lorenzo on Wimbledon Hill- decent fella as you'd imagine Dennis Wise in the players lounge at Sheffield Utd once- remember thinking at the time that he looked like a hard little sod- mad eyes on him Jason Cundy in a pub on Frith Street recently- Christ knows what he made of me cause I was in a state of advanced refreshment shall we say Oh and John Terry. He and his lovely bird Toni, were in Pets at Home in Raynes Park, choosing a dog basket. The funny thing was, he wasn't wearing he chelsea kit at the time- imagine if a five a side broke out in the store- by the time he'd got changed up it would all be over