Dr. Socrates

So we bought him for the not inconsiderable sum of 40 million pounds and send him right away to Palace on loan? Is that right?

Not sure what’s going on at the back. That was horrendous. We were lucky to only concede 3. Looks like we’re also going to need to spend the Fernandez money on a couple of midfielders. Three points in the bag, but it’s a pity the Arsenal game is coming so soon.

Maybe playing Thursday has taken its toll for Barco and James to be sitting this out. Fernandez and Essugo are both leaving I assume? All a bit of a mess really. Maybe those rumours about us signing two midfielders is true.

Well that’s some midfield pivot. How did it come to this just two games in?

Sanchez is such a jerk. All he had to do was put in a half decent display against Fulham and he’d be the nailed on starter for the season. Instead he had a total meltdown. Let’s the ball run out of play while about to kick it, nowhere to be seen for their first goal, parries it into the striker for the second, almost conceded a third by charging out into no man’s, and repeatedly kicked the ball either out of play or straight to the opposition. Totally useless.

Well Palmer, Rogers and Pedro were terrific up front. A goal apiece is promising stuff. Could easily have thrown it away though. Pity Caicedo and Palestra were injured. At least we know what the midfield looks like if Caicedo is missing. Pleased for Lacroix who managed to keep his composure amidst the chaos. Good to get off to a winning start and Alonso will have learned a lot about his players and tactics, so there’s that.

Not sure what the new manager made of that utter shambles of a performance. Transfer window is going to be interesting. It’s going to be difficult to get rid of so much deadwood.

Well we didn’t embarrass ourselves. But we offered nothing upfront. We needed a bit of quality and it was nowhere to be found. City paid for quality and that was the difference today. In the end we did well just to still be in the game after 70 mins. And that’s about the limit of our ambition.

We could have played three more defenders. Just to be safe.

I thought it was just Rosenior the lads wanted to get rid of. Someone should tell them they can stop now. Otherwise people will think they’re the problem.

Well that was much better. Scoring a goal shows we’re on the right track.

Wow. They sack the manager but the idiots who appointed the last two managers, while failing to recruit properly in the summer, giving the impression they were signing players by picking out names at random from a tombola, while completely ignoring the blindingly obvious deficiencies in the squad — they get to choose the new manger and oversee the summer transfer window! How do they do it? If I screwed up at work that badly I don’t think I’d get handed a raise, an extended contract, and a pat on the back. I’d be thinking about maybe starting a new career.

We need a new manager bounce because the last manager has just bounced himself off a cliff.

We should’ve just signed Danny Wellbeck years ago. it’s just embarrassing now.

It’s okay, lads. Rosenior just needs a preseason and all will be well.

Now he brings on Acheampong for Gusto. What an effing moron.

Five straight defeats and no goals scored. Liam Rosenior ladies and gentlemen.

We were pretty good against Port Vale. What happened?

Crazy to invest in wingers who can’t beat a man, strikers who can’t score, and defenders who can’t defend. I’d really check our recruitment software. I think we might’ve been hacked.

Well that was pretty bad. Wouldn’t surprise me if we lost the rest of our matches this season.

That was just embarrassing in the end. Just got picked off when City felt like it. Don’t know where we go from here. Squad needs a major overhaul. But with no Champions League and a painfully inexperienced manager, we’re just going to fall even further behind. And no-one at the club is going to lose their jobs over this shambles as they’d all have to sack themselves. Worrying times really.

So we’ve suspended our vice-captain for implying the club doesn’t know what it’s doing and he’d rather quit and move to Madrid than waste his career at a club that’s going nowhere fast. All going well at BlueCo FC then.

Rosenior’s management style seems to be to play to our weaknesses. The opposition only has to play a through ball to a forward who will be one on one with a centre back. That’s all it takes. Does Rosenior think that the opposition don’t watch our previous games? It’s like having a teenager in charge.

Well we started poorly and just got worse. Rosenior somehow managing to make Maresca look like a tactical genius. We might have been boring and ineffectual under Maresca but Rosenior has taken us to a new level of terrible. Naively, I thought Rosenior would at least make us organised and have a bit of fight about us. Instead, in a few weeks, our performance level has collapsed and the players have lost all belief in themselves, the manager, the club. We’re just going from one shambles to the next. The question is not will Rosenior survive, but what comes next?

At least we can focus on getting into the Champions League now. We don’t need the distraction of actually playing in it.