Chapelhay

Gigli Salmon vs Martin (Tossbag) Lipton.

I did not mention West Ham because I simply do not acknowledge their existence! but on reflection it does really piss me off when their only claim to fame is 'We won the World Cup'!! and so to the non travelling static caravan dwellers I say only this- West Ham- Yes we know you had three players in the world cup winning team, and yes we know that two of them scored, but who was it that actually lifted the world cup, well let me remind you, it was in fact............... 'Robert Frederick CHELSEA Moore' Now F**K OFF.

As it says people , watching it now, enjoy.

LIVERPOOL- Where's your history now ya mugs! I will tell you, its in the land of Oxford bags, platform shoes, kipper f****n ties and The f****n Bay City Rollers! You keep living in the past because that is all you have, and we will keep making history! Now just F**K OFF. SPURS- That is what you do, you go out and you fight to the last man, you believe in yourselves you keep the faith and you don't give up, what you don't do is think that you are better than you actually are, and you don't Gob off before it is actually all over, and you certainly don't think that another team is going to do it for you, you F****d it up by not having enough bottle! Now go and set your sky plus for Thursday nights on channel 5 and just F**K OFF. ARSENAL- Tell me really, how does it truly feel to know that we beat you to it! You keep finishing in the top 3 and you will be able to sit your grandchildren on your knees and tell them about the times when your manager thought that making money was more important than winning trophies, I am sure they will be enthralled. Now just F**K OFF. QPR-I actually feel a little bit sorry you, you are just an embarrassment, you remind me of a teenage boy who has been caught with his dick inside his sisters pet hamster! You know what's coming so just F**K OFF. LEEDS- Just F**K OFF. To my fellow Chelsea fans that has just taken me 43 years to get that off my chest, I now feel born again.

Ha Ha Ha nearly choked on my doobie, Quality.

Sorry I cant embed this video But if this fails to fire you up then you have no soul! And you, good yeoman, Whose limbs were made in England, show us here The mettle of your pasture; let us swear That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not; For there is none of you so mean and base, That hath not noble lustre in your eyes.

Back in 1984 on the day that we smashed Leeds 5-0 at home I bumped into Kerry Dixon outside the East stand before the game and he signed my ticket for me. Me and and mates used to sit in gate 13, and in the bar before the game I got talking to a very proud dad whose son had been born that morning who he had named Kerry. Being a big soft sentimentalist I gave him my treasured signed ticket to give to his son, Kerry Dixon went on to score a hat trick that day so job well and truly done. Fast forward to 1992 and by this time I was living in Los Angeles, I had a great lifestyle over there but after being a regular at the Bridge since the mid seventies I really did miss following the blues. Cue 1994 and two weeks before the cup final it all got too much i had to be at Wembley. I sold my car, my tools(I was a wall and floor tiler) I left my woman, I left my dog(Chelsea) and all of my belongings and I flew home with no ticket for the game. With four days left to go before the final I ended up with five tickets for the game which went to friends for face value. On cup final day outside Wembley I got talking to Chelsea boy who had also recently been living in Los Angeles. Turned out he played in the same league (South Bay League) and drank in the same bar (Caprios in Manhattan beach). After our conversation I went to join the queue to get in and bumped into my old mate Kerry Dixon! I told him about our last meeting and he very kindly signed my ticket, happy days again (well up until 4.45 pm it was). As I walked away from Wembley in the pouring rain I was beginning to wonder had i done the right thing by coming home!! The night itself turned out to be one of the best piss ups I have ever had, and the support and love for Chelsea that night made me realise that yes I had done the right thing. Fast forward to 1997, and outside Wembley before the game I bumped into my old mate from Los Angeles!! What are the chances of that!! We had a good chat and then I went to join the queue to get in, I think you can guess what's coming! Yes it was my now very good friend King Kerry himself!! We had chat again but this time no pen to sign ticket but never mind. What a day, what a f**king day that was god bless you Chelsea now i know coming home was the right thing to do. 1998 and I am now sitting in a bar in Stockholm in the afternoon before the final, a bloke sits down next to me i turn around and shake hands with my old mate from Los Angeles!! now I know that we are going home with the cup winners cup God bless you Franco God bless you. Didn't get to speak to Kerry before that one but did bump into my hero Ossie at the airport. Happy days my friends just happy happy days.

AVE IT!!

One of the guests on tonight's show, will be very interesting to see how he comes across, we all know what a top man he is, I would like to think that fans of other clubs might just change their opinion of him if he shows what a decent bloke he really is. Or am I just being a soft old tosser!