It may not be christmas, but in this time of peace & harmony between supporters,(maybe not)before the season kicks off, how about some ideas for usefull gifts for our rival clubs fans?.

To my spammers supporting bruv, I'd give a neck brace in whu colours so he can watch in comfort 'big sam's' direct style of football without suffering any lumbar discomfort.The deluxe version comes with binocular support to allow a better view of the airbourne action at the Olympic stadium.

Talking of the Olympic stadium,a lifetimes supply of sour grapes to spuds supporters,who just don't know when to shut the f*ck up.

To fulham fans,a Micheal Jackson 'best of' cd,it's the only time 'best of' & Fulham can be mentioned in the same sentance.

To the Wenger loving Gunners fans,a years free treatment at Specsavers,he can't see the need for investment & they can't see it's time for him to say goodbye.

To manure 'supporters', a dvd of Great Britain,so they can see what the north ACTUALLY looks like for real & not on Match of the day.

To the dippers,prozac so they can 'calm down' from one of fking kennys t.v. interview borefests.

Any other ideas for suitable gifts?.

I would give all spurs fans 1 chelsea sock each.....They would have to only wear this one sock on one foot when coming to us , and hop all the way up fulham broadway...While they hop en mass up the road i would be singing silent night to them and offer to sell them a second chelsea sock for a very large amount

I would GIVE west ham fans a phoney cup made of silver paper,then another made of silver paper......This is coz its the sh*tting closest they will ever get in the next 10 yrs of seeing silverware

For Liverpool fans I would give them a recipe book : One Hundred Ways to Cook Your Rats

1. Rat Soufflé

First skin your rat. Remove the head, and save the ears, tail and whiskers for decoration.

Finely chop the flesh and mix with crushed garlic and pimento.

Beat the yolks of three eggs and blend with the meat mixture.

Whip the three egg whites till they reach a stiff peak (don't get excited Moos)

Fold the stiff egg whites into the mixture and pour into a soufflé dish.

Bake in a medium hot oven ( 180 - 200 degress centigrade) till the mixture has risen and a brown crust forms on the top.

Serve with a tossed salad (rescued from the bins in Chester, where posh salad-eating people live) and decorate with ears, whiskers and tail of rat.

Edited July 4, 201113 yr by moi

Another present idea for Liverpool fans: start living in it!

For Liverpool fans I would give them a recipe book : One Hundred Ways to Cook Your Rats

1. Rat Soufflé

First skin your rat. Remove the head, and save the ears, tail and whiskers for decoration.

Finely chop the flesh and mix with crushed garlic and pimento.

Beat the yolks of three eggs and blend with the meat mixture.

Whip the three egg whites till they reach a stiff peak (don't get excited Moos)

Fold the stiff egg whites into the mixture and pour into a soufflé dish.

Bake in a medium hot oven ( 180 - 200 degress centigrade) till the mixture has risen and a brown crust forms on the top.

Serve with a tossed salad (rescued from the bins in Chester, where posh salad-eating people live) and decorate with ears, whiskers and tail of rat.

This sounds too professional to have been pulled from ones mind willy nilly.....Come on moi , this is wot u serve up on a rainy sunday

This sounds too professional to have been pulled from ones mind willy nilly.....Come on moi , this is wot u serve up on a rainy sunday

Erm sorry, but I pulled it from my mind without any help from a willy or a nilly!

Erm sorry, but I pulled it from my mind without any help from a willy or a nilly!

immaculate conception?