Ten Elite Brains

Jesus Christ. I have been very supportive of Willian over the last few weeks. He has put in a real shift but also showed explosiveness going forward. Those stats are horrific though and cannot be defended.

I've highlighted all your errors. Please refrain from grammar allusions from here on. Comments come after quotations. Please follow this in future if you wish for my retort. I don't have to state anything; I like to point people in the right direction however. Call it a motto of sorts. Not arrogant, just better.

Very good choice.

Ahhhh. Found it. The volume is very low. I don't think it's as bad as people are making out. He's laughing when saying it as if in jest and absolutely adores Mourinho. Still don't like the guy however. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G51NjyfX5Hw

Have the BBC cut off out his remarks, or was this a different interview? http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/32683617

Gramma? What my grandmother has to do with anything is beyond me. If you're seriously intending to dismantle my 'grammar' however; you will struggle on monumental levels. I am not patronising or arrogant, I am simply just better. Nice attempt though, champ. I will take your hair-splitting efforts at becoming relevant into consideration.

I'm not really sure. I suppose it's hypocrisy in that I find him annoying and arrogant - whereas most fans see that in Jose, as I probably would if I didn't support Chelsea. Would you be expecting a serious title challenge next season? I reckon Van Gaal will spend big again; though if he spends in excess of £150 and doesn't win the league, it must go down as a failed season. £300m in two seasons if a lot of money.

Yeah, 2 goals and 3 assists I think Gervinho has this season. Considering he plays as part of a front three, that is a horrific statistic.

I don't like Man Utd and I absolutely despise Louis Van Gaal. What's United fans feeling towards him? Successful season or underachieved in comparison to money spent? He seems to have failed to get the best out of certain players, whilst others have performed better, ie, Di Maria and Fellaini respectively. Van Persie seems about 5 yards short of pace and looks completely unfit when I've seen him. Depay would be some acquisition however. My Dutch friend absolutely adores him and his English team is Liverpool. The sheer amount of seething when he signs for your lot will be hilarious.

Absolutely. Never have I been happier seeing a player leave Chelsea. Absolute carthorse and found his level.

I guess you didn't understand my comment, or in your head, you thought this would a funny thing to 'hint' towards, Absolutely tragic. Or were you telling me to post in that forum as I may find someone with the ability to answer a question? On record, that forum is poor. Not a lot of discussion worthwhile.

He is clearly a player that plays on confidence. His' salvo of attacks from the right hand side deems him unplayable at times. This could be a similar trait of Cuadrado' who looks absolutely devoid of ideas when he plays for us.

Be specific, be VERY specific. If you are going to fail on biblical proportions akin to the other guy, who's toys are lying halfway across him room floor, then at least give evidence; empirical or other.

Skrtel looks like a Roswell escapee.

Griezmann is a fantastic player. Effective either as a winger or a striker. Really doesn't have a preferred position and works hard; a true Mourinho type of player. Very productive.

Oh dear lord. Okay, this is my final time educating you. Please ask a family member to read this out and explain it to you if you're struggling. I didn't spend years in University to carry out this role in your life. KDB did not move to the 'one team' in the one-team league. If you do not believe me, Google it. He is playing for a lesser, less fashionably team and has helped propell them up the league and through an excellent run in European football. How on earth do you know if he would have replicated the stats in England, mystic? I would love to hear your supernatural response to this one, champ.

Which is complete lunacy. German teams progressed well in Europe, which is the only way we can accurately compare leagues against each other. Bayern, Dortmund and Wolfsburg all outlasted any English team.

Hull. Absolutely atrocious and useless manager. 2 points from safety and away to Spuds and home to Man Utd the following week.

This performance feels like a friendly game.

Willian Passing has been horrendous.

Ivanovic gives away so many stupid fouls that lead to goals.

Fab lucky there.

Likewise, stood up in work and the scousers frowned. All in the name of banter.

I just switched to this and the commentary is a lot better. I'm impressed.

Injured now. Damn it.