Mike Mitchell

Give yourself a pat on the back because I can't argue with that! I should probably take it all back. Sorry everyone, Rafa out

Everyone is so grouchy today. 3-1 after a 6-1! Is nobody excited?

I went to school with a guy called Bernard. He was ginger and spoke very little English so for that reason, I'm out.

You sound like you need some Christmas cheer mate, the mightly blues romped to a win today and you're still upset! This is the time of giving and Rafa is giving us results and an on-form Torres. How about you open your presents with a smile on your face and stop acting like the spoiled child! xxx

Torres scored two more goals than everyone else today put together, apart from Mata who scored one (but it's still less than Torres) Have faith, mates!

In the season of festivity, I believe Rafa may become known as 'the Virgin Rafa' because like the Virgin Mary, I am starting to believe he's about to give birth to something incredible, when it shouldn't be possible. The last two matches have really softened my feelings towards him. Suddenly his chubby demeanour is endearing, not sickening. His vagueness is mysterious, not infuriating. I am excited. Hark you Chelsea angels sing, for RAFA IS THE NEW BORN KING!

I think there's a good chance Di Matteo will return to Stamford Bridge. As an opposition manager. Doing well with a new club. Sigh.

I actually quite like the Scousers. They're perfectly decent until football comes into it.

Hodgson never criticised your fans before taking over. If he'd made snide comments about the way you supported your team, you'd be hostile towards him to say the least. I get that you lot love the man which is fair enough because he stuck with you through a hell of a lot (some of which I believe was self-inflicted). So I don't think that's really a relevant example. I agree with your point on Roman, he needs to sort his act out. But surely you can see why we don't like Benitez being in charge here.

Benitez isn't really doing anything. As much as I disapprove of his appointment, it's not as if he took the job and announced a new policy of 'Scousification' or something ridiculous like that. He's just... here. It's Roman who is 'doing this' to the club. It's the sacrifice we've made for all the money he's injected.

I don't think he will, mate.

I f**king hate Gareth Bale, the monkey-faced gimp. Diving all over the place as usual.

Is there someone we can speak to about the removal of Torres from the starting line-up? I'd be all for a sign campaign to get the message across. Nothing against him, he never really wanted to be here. But still, it's gone on for nearly two years now and I've had enough of it as I'm sure we all have. I miss Eidur Gudjohnsen, that was a real striker!

I didn't think I'd see the day a Chelsea manager got comfortably outsmarted by Sam f**king Allardyce. Aren't we always being told Benitez's cockishness is made up for with his tactical nous? I don't see any tactical nous, just a clueless romantic standing still. He doesn't even look cool like Robbie or AVB. f**ks sake.

We'll end up fighting for a Europa League place if this monstrosity of a manager doesn't get it sorted out. I genuinely fear for our Champions League status.