It'll soon be time for various gongs and trophies to be handed out and, more often than not, only the game's finest receive the recognition they deserve.It is with this in mind that I offer up, in consultation with some petty and vindictive pals down the Blue Bell, a few alternative first XIs for this Premier League season.

And here are the ones relevant to us...

The 'Call Yourself A Professional Footballer - Pull Your Blinking Finger Out' XI

Paulo Ferreira: I doubt he expected to get a kick this season and he's lived up to that expectation even when he starts for Chelsea.

The 'I Thought You Were Past It But Fair Dos' XI

(none)

The 'I Thought You Were Pants But Fair Do's XI

Florent Malouda: Couldn't believe he got to stay at the Bridge, but a few braids later and he's one of the best players there.

The 'I Thought You Were Overrated And I Was Right' XI

Peter Cech: Can hardly catch a cold these days

John Terry: Could be outpaced by an overfed tortoise.

Jon Obi Mikel: Apart from giving away stonewall penalties and getting away with it, what does he offer?

Most Irritating XI You Could Put Out on a Premier League Pitch

'Cashley' & JT

Won't comment on too much of it, but after his comment about Mikel, what a clueless c**t.

And here are the ones relevant to us...

Won't comment on too much of it, but after his comment about Mikel, what a clueless c**t.

Think it's pretty spot on TBH!!

Peter Cech: Can hardly catch a cold these days

Oh dear. What a spiteful, malicious, small-minded and worst of all completely ignorant little tirade. To be quite frank I hope he gets hit by a bus.

If we win the double, it'll be that much more wonderful knowing that little c**ts like him will be crying their eyes out.

Chaps - it's all tongue in cheek. Accept it for what it is and don't have such a sense of humour failure!

The descriptions are tongue in cheek but I'm guessing the players he picked aren't.

Chaps - it's all tongue in cheek. Accept it for what it is and don't have such a sense of humour failure!

Is that why he failed to mention his beloved stevie me`s garbage, abysmal, surrendering season?

Whilst i thought some of the chelsea stuff was quite harsh (yes i do love john obi) the stuff about the other teams was quite funny and pretty accurate. And even though he didnt mention stevie G who definitely warranted a mention on a number of those lists he did lay into a fair amount of liverscum players

he should have put Joe Cole in there as well.

aint that right Loz.