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Peter Pan and Wengy

Eton Blue at the Chelsea Megastore

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It was just past the hour mark at the Emirates when the Premiership?s Peter Pan of Management decided he could no longer trust fantasy football implicitly. Flying in the face of a week?s factual evidence is a tricky business - especially when your belief starts to go. Sometimes it can even stop you putting your wings on at the appropriate moment, whether they are home grown or not, and in this instance the temptation to create the perfect fairytale proved too great. But let?s not get ahead of ourselves and instead turn back a few pages to the start of the second half?

All was not well in Neverland as the Media Darling family struggled to impose themselves on the PSV non-believers. Whilst the crocodile tears were yet to appear, there was a distinct sound of tick, tick, ticking from the pseudo Clock End. Suddenly a big boy called Alex suspended disbelief in an instant by means of an own goal that sent the spirits soaring in young and old alike. Doubling on the Dutch would bring about a happy ending, but was it really time to unhook the captain?

Seaworthy or rusting bucket, the Flying Frenchman has not been the chipper skipper for a while now and he has instead, somewhat begrudgingly, taken on a role of faithful dogsbody on board boat by dutifully fetching and carrying and generally geeing up the crew. Still, ask not for whom the Tinker Bell tolled, it tolled for Smee, and on he came to a rapturous welcome. Suddenly, before the sprinkled pixie dust had time to settle, he was holding his side, but sadly, not together and big kid Alex dashed dreams with a thumping header, thereby providing conclusive evidence that the Reds bull does give you wings.

?back to the drawing board for poor Arsene then, but will this rude awakening alter his outlook? Readers will know that I?ve always had my suspicions about transitions and the truth is that nobody stays young for season after season. Unless, of course, you live in Wengerworld, where the next cherubic midfield threesome to emerge will more than likely be Pentipeptide, Boswellox and Ceramide R and the very last thing you bring on is the ageing process.

The reality of the situation SHOULD be that this managerial Peter gets panned next time he tries to sell his supporters, let alone the rest of us, a pup that seemingly refuses to grow up. What Gooners will want right now is not a Newfoundland called Nana that looks pretty on the hearthrug, but a bloody big dog that bites. Fooling the Media into believing this fairytale was easy, because they are so adept at storytelling themselves they were more than happy to play along in the vain hope that it might come true. However, what everyone associated with this Young Gunners myth failed to appreciate was the fact that Peter Pan led the Lost Boys and, if my memory serves me correctly, they stayed lost.

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