Let’s all laugh at these websites

[Dorset]

So much drivel is written about Chelsea transfer targets these days it’s about time we pointed a finger at the worst and had a bit of a laugh at their expense. My current personal favourite is Fans FC’s revelation that we are in for, and I quote, ‘Old Trafford title winner’ Gabriel Heinze. No sooner do you recover from that bombshell and your eye is drawn towards Goal.com’s incredulous announcement that there is still no Chelsea contact regarding Adebeyor, despite Ancelotti being an admirer, presumably in his less lucid moments.

I know it’s all a matter of taste, but some of the branding also leaves a lot to be desired, especially when it comes to naming the product. For instance, TribalFootball always seems something of a misnomer to me, especially when they got so close to the perfect description - Tribal B*****ks - just a little bit more thought, that’s all that was needed. I’ll leave the other classic sites for the rest of you to have a go at, but please, I beg you, don’t leave out 4sportsake, for crissake, or the legendary [give me a break] givemefootball.

[dkw]

ive said it before, i honestly believe some of these sites totally make things up. i know you work in media dorset so not sure if you can "yay or nay" this but i once heard from a friend of a friend ( i knonw, not the most reliable source) who worked for a sports desk at one of the rag tops. he said the sports writers were expected to hand in 3 storys a day to the sports editor. the normal breakdown of these were 1 pretty concrete and safe story (usually boring), one rumoured story and one pretty much made up on the spot to fill their quota. obviously the made up would normally stand out as the most juciest and be ran.

or they could use the method i recomended.

3 pots.

pot 1 - club

pot 2 - player

pot 3 - situation.

so pot 1 - chelsea

pot 2 - aguero

pot 3 £50 mill transfer.

try it, its great fun.

[ace]

Did you hear Chelsea are signing Inzaghi for 38m?

[TheWestwayWonder]

Did you hear Chelsea are signing Inzaghi for 38m?

In all seriousness, going off this idea of a game dkw suggests, this wouldnt be a bad game

I am willing to bet many of these rag writers or their coffee fetching assistants read forums like ours.

We should decide before silly season begins on a ridiculous rumor to start and propagate among ourselves as fact.

Something as bad as, oh, i dunno, Gabby Heinze to Chelsea. We build it up and up, talk like its a rumor, then a liklihood, then a certainty, then actualy fact. "We all know that..." "When Gabby gets here, we will need to make room by shipping out A. Cole" etc etc

Then we sit back and wait for someone to print it. First one to spot the rumor and provide a link wins a modest prize

[geezer]

Wayne Rooney has agreed to come to Chelsea to become JT's barber on a full time basis and is prepared to sit on the bench if necessary.

[Ruh Buh Juh]

Wayne Rooney has agreed to come to Chelsea to become JT's barber on a full time basis and is prepared to sit on the bench if necessary.

Has to be TribalFootball. Surely.

[TheWestwayWonder]

Wayne Rooney has agreed to come to Chelsea to become JT's barber on a full time basis and is prepared to sit on the bench if necessary.

perfect. I head he is demanding 80,000 a week plus performance based incentive (tips for a close shave)

[rahul]

In all seriousness, going off this idea of a game dkw suggests, this wouldnt be a bad game

I am willing to bet many of these rag writers or their coffee fetching assistants read forums like ours.

We should decide before silly season begins on a ridiculous rumor to start and propagate among ourselves as fact.

Something as bad as, oh, i dunno, Gabby Heinze to Chelsea. We build it up and up, talk like its a rumor, then a liklihood, then a certainty, then actualy fact. "We all know that..." "When Gabby gets here, we will need to make room by shipping out A. Cole" etc etc

Then we sit back and wait for someone to print it. First one to spot the rumor and provide a link wins a modest prize

Thats a great idea. Go ahead and create an incredulous story in the rumor section. Lets see how it pans out.

Edited June 25, 2009 by rahuldotchelsea

[TomP]

In a tribal football exclusive, (insert top-quality player at non-top-tier club) is on the verge of signing a mega money move to (cross out one of Real Madrid, Chelsea, Man City, Man United).

In another exclusive, tribal football can also reveal that Chelsea's new manager's shopping list includes (insert any player that Ancleotti has ever managed).

Tribal football can also reveal that this new signing has caused (insert any Chelsea player from the Mourinho era) to become disillusioned with life at Chelsea, and wants to reunite with Mourinho at Inter.

And in a final scoop, Chelsea are on the verge of snapping up (insert name of unknown Russian under 21 player) on the personal advice of Guus Hiddink.

[Elliott]

According to these persistant offenders this morning, we have yet again been ''snubbed'' by Pato, Ribery, and soon to be, Tevez.

Its hard been a Chelsea fan. :)

[Dorset]

ive said it before, i honestly believe some of these sites totally make things up. i know you work in media dorset so not sure if you can "yay or nay" this but i once heard from a friend of a friend ( i knonw, not the most reliable source) who worked for a sports desk at one of the rag tops. he said the sports writers were expected to hand in 3 storys a day to the sports editor. the normal breakdown of these were 1 pretty concrete and safe story (usually boring), one rumoured story and one pretty much made up on the spot to fill their quota. obviously the made up would normally stand out as the most juciest and be ran.

Have to say that the let’s make it all up theory doesn’t work in my particular sphere, dkw, but I do know, from working with one particular reporter years ago, that when it comes to football and transfers, the pressures to come up with ‘something’ soon reaches the desperate ‘anything’ stage and then I guess you’ve pretty much described what happens next. What I find interesting is the current Media perception of Chelsea, almost right across the board, as one of a club that is fair game, presumably because it gives very little away on all fronts, thereby making their reporting life difficult. The fact that that process is just good business practice, as opposed to the open house wheeler-dealing of Big Sam or ’Arry, has to be forgotten about in the rush to discredit the enemy of the game, Roman Abramovich, and it is at this point you would find the Editor making his multiple story demands.

There is no denying, whatever character criteria level you adopt, that the Glazers, Hicks and Gillett, Usmanov and the Abu Dhabi boys are all on a personal par with Roman (most, if not all, being far less personable in my opinion) yet they get virtually none of the mind numbing trash written or spoken about them or their respective clubs. Of course, when you read a diatribe like Rod Liddle’s at the weekend you realise that envy and spite play a big part in generating an awful lot of the bile coming Chelsea’s way, but that shouldn’t interfere with a journalist’s professional standards. That is, if he has any in the first place. In Liddle’s case he was given free rein to express his prejudice, safe in the knowledge that it was all taking place on the relatively harmless sports pages, whereas a few months back, on the business page, the mark was overstepped by his colleague John Waples, resulting in court action.

[Jimboola69]

According to these persistant offenders this morning, we have yet again been ''snubbed'' by Pato, Ribery, and soon to be, Tevez.

Its hard been a Chelsea fan.

Yeah, if their 'fly a kite' goes nowhere, then the player a few days later has 'snubbed' chelsea/barca/Real/Man City.

Pathetic really.

The Daily Star is one of the worst. Most of their stories are not even vaguely believeable.