Finally, Eden Hazard is ours. Yes, we can say it with complete certainty and, unlike my tortured Tevez and Aguero times over the last decade, we can sit back and enjoy the first genuine top-four-targeted player snubbing others in favour of CFC, albeit [we shall forever be reminded] as a direct result of being European Champions. Or much worse, apparently, when the transfer is viewed by those above us in the table, if you care to believe the inky scribes who have moved so swiftly on from their full enjoyment of Eden and his visiting, twittering classmates from Manchester, to total disrespect for the teasing practice once the Blues joined in and got a favourable mention in dispatches.

Indeed, it was ever thus in the Premiership pecking order and although Eden may well have ended up in a Chelsea garden with many a feature, including Eva herself, little does he know just how much praise will be systematically pruned off him now that his branching out is done and he has well and truly upset the Mancunian applecart along with its usual coterie of bandwagon journos who, it appears, have now been forced to bring-on early and showcase some blooming cheap Japanese bonsai guy instead. This must hurt the green-eyed mulch merchants, never mind the green-fingered, and it must also be said that Eden Hazard, or splendiferous-teneris-playmakerus to give him his full Latin tag, seems blissfully unaware of how the Premiership garden grows in this country, even to the extent of throwing one stone too many from a divulging myth-shattering glasshouse speech guaranteed to be something of a Best of Showstopper in SW6 circles.

I refer, of course, to these lovely little cuttings…

“I spoke with Abramovich, he is very simple and loves football. We were on the same wavelength, he wants to confirm Chelsea’s position at the top. Chelsea have made a good investment for me but I did not put any pressure on them.â€

“I’ve always said I wanted to play in England. There was a struggle between Chelsea and United, but according to me Chelsea has the best project.â€

“The team is young and I have a better chance to play there.â€

Perish the thought that these quotes were deliberately planted in the interview for effect, but they undoubtedly spoke volumes for those wishing to hear. In fact, it was music to our ears and you can make a list as long as your arm of the positives these sentences convey. So I will…

1. Direct contact with Roman, the man at the top who supposedly flits from caring about football to disinterest at the flick of a hack’s dodgy switch. So, he loves football - tick. Wants to consolidate our position at the top - tick. No problem agreeing salary details - okay, we take that with a pinch of salt.

2. In Eden’s opinion, Chelsea has the best project, yet nobody in the press corps or media pack picked up and ran with this for longer than it took them to airbrush out or blank a memory. Why? Well, it simply cannot be that Sir Alex has failed to convince this 21 year-old Belgian that his future lies amongst his experienced old begonias, can it?

3. It seems so, as Eden, after a quick cursory glance at his new team mates, plus a complimentary trip around the Academy, declares the team to be young and only just stops short of saying ‘the future’s bright, the future’s Blue’, thereby confirming what we have felt for some time about our squad when compared to the hardy annuals still coming out every fortnight at Old Trafford.

And if these snippets were not enough to rile those that choose to ignore rather than expand on the truth Eden will also soon find that individual opposition players are not averse to taking their own importance far too seriously when deigning to delve into Chelsea matters. Should he not have done so already, Hazard can’t help but see how JT has suffered the blings and agro of outraged Ferdinands when their fortunes have taken a turn for the worst and assorted no marks from Jason Roberts to Paul Ince and Sol Campbell rush to the microphones to declare support for Rio in what has to be the silliest and most concocted ‘hour of need’ in the whole History of Affronted Man. Quite why Gary Cahill’s newly-enforced absence from the England squad makes any difference to the fact that the elder Ferdinand can’t cut it anymore [and the younger one never could] is beyond me and a bemused Roy Hodgson, who must already be sick to the back teeth with his new job.

Time then for Eden to please take note: as a Chelsea player from this day forth, any minor incident involving you will be blown out of all proportion, smeared across the newspapers with relish and every opportunity taken to regurgitate the juicy, totally fabricated bits. To even hint at being more impressed by Roman than the old knight of the realm was tantamount to poking these messengers vigorously with an electric cattle prod, so be duly warned about the bad days to come and be ready to search in vain for any rapturous praise on the good.

In the meantime, here’s a big welcome from someone who believed it was almost a given you would go elsewhere, but never in a million years did I think it would be to a Glazer-stricken United, as the really big players just aren’t that stupid anymore and haven’t been for some years now. Still, whilst the Media make sure it’s no bed of roses for you at Chelsea, at least you have one consolation - it has to be better than being tended by Harry, down the Lane and on the allotment.

That was quite a post.

I seriously had to turn my music off so I could fully concentrate on what you were saying.

I was quite amused by the Guardian headline the other day:

Eden Hazard is Roman Abramovich's first step in rebuilding of Chelsea

What he needs to do next, I suggest, is sign a young keeper, perhaps from Belgium, and maybe loan him out to a top side.

He could then look for a young, energetic midfielder, ideally with world cup experience, possibly Brazilian.

It's clear that Drogba needs to be replaced, so the club should consider investing in a proven goalscorer with Premier league and international experience, not a youngster but someone around 27-28. They also need to look for a young striker with pace. Possibly someone out of contract with a big club, in his early 20s.

The defence also needs addressing, with JT the wrong side of 30 and Alex out the door. Roman should be looking to bring in maybe 2 central defenders of quality - internationals, with experience of the Premiership and/or Champions League.

Another couple of youngsters to add speed and creativity - maybe from a European league - might complete the rebuilding.

Although a young holding midfielder would be helpful.

Edited June 7, 201214 yr by Backbiter

I was quite amused by the Guardian headline the other day:

What he needs to do next, I suggest, is sign a young keeper, perhaps from Belgium, and maybe loan him out to a top side.

He could then look for a young, energetic midfielder, ideally with world cup experience, possibly Brazilian.

It's clear that Drogba needs to be replaced, so the club should consider investing in a proven goalscorer with Premier league and international experience, not a youngster but someone around 27-28. They also need to look for a young striker with pace. Possibly someone out of contract with a big club, in his early 20s.

The defence also needs addressing, with JT the wrong side of 30 and Alex out the door. Roman should be looking to bring in maybe 2 central defenders of quality - internationals, with experience of the Premiership and/or Champions League.

Another couple of youngsters to add speed and creativity - maybe from a European league - might complete the rebuilding.

Although a young holding midfielder would be helpful.

We can only hope : P

I was quite amused by the Guardian headline the other day:

What he needs to do next, I suggest, is sign a young keeper, perhaps from Belgium, and maybe loan him out to a top side.

He could then look for a young, energetic midfielder, ideally with world cup experience, possibly Brazilian.

It's clear that Drogba needs to be replaced, so the club should consider investing in a proven goalscorer with Premier league and international experience, not a youngster but someone around 27-28. They also need to look for a young striker with pace. Possibly someone out of contract with a big club, in his early 20s.

The defence also needs addressing, with JT the wrong side of 30 and Alex out the door. Roman should be looking to bring in maybe 2 central defenders of quality - internationals, with experience of the Premiership and/or Champions League.

Another couple of youngsters to add speed and creativity - maybe from a European league - might complete the rebuilding.

Although a young holding midfielder would be helpful.

I`m almost certain the Guardian is written with crayons.

After our glorious night in Munich, The Star (I know) said Roman had what he wanted and so the purse strings will be closed. Less than 10 days later we sign the hottest player in Europe for £32m. It's laughable, I will be sending him a short email which details that and then calls him an utter mug c*nt... or something equally eloquent.

Right on man! I always feel like a kid on a christmas morning everytime I see Dorset has created a thread. Cheers mate!

Very nice to read a post that's so thoughtful, eloquent, and at the same time entertaining. Part of what I love about Chelsea is the "us against the world" attitude. We have many people who hate us, but that's offset by our sense of support and loyalty. I think that emanates from the first team to supporters worldwide.

dorset old boy! the reason hazard chose us is because we have a football lover as an owner. citeh were never in it because their owners just think money can buy anything to show the world how affluent and magnimous they are. manure has fergy as a draw but even he can't last forever and not many will join a club with soccer loving money/debt making owners. there signing of kagawa is a fine example and their unsigning of ozil another one! look across to the emirates and you will realise what a good job whinger has done but ever since dein threw in his hat with the uzbek (who looked like a football lover) instead of the soccer loving want to make money stan they have suffered 8 years of hurt. expect more good players and more academy players because abramovich will get it right eventually by his experiences.

Top post as always Dorset. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's had enough of the absurd Rio love-in of the last week. I always thought he was overrated, and he's well past prime now anyway. Yet look how much trouble he's stirred up with all the tweeting and 'sources close to Rio' leaking to the press. I'm not surprised Hodgson booted him out.