The West Ham Summer Sale

[Gem]

Roll up, roll up, get your bargains here. Top quality names in a shabby store, now half price (except for the biggest and richest store, who always pay double the worth, especially if they're from Ing-Ger-Land).

First off, we have this lovely young, double footed striker, with a good airial ability and experience in the top league. Not known to cause a fuss...

The second product may have been getting some abuse from the store's own employees recently, but this all action under-21 midfielder wouldn't look too out of place at a Tiffany?s. However, this object is fragile.

The third is a younger model of one who's already stored in a big English chain. Although it looks kinda odd... Its fairly solid and will no doubt improve. Of course, shipping to the USA is now banned.

The fourth, although can break down, also can be as solid as a rock. The future prospect is good. Comes in various colours, but is recognised more in Green.

Although the store does house good English products, the foreign goods are just as tempting...

Much like the 3rd, the fifth may not look good on the eye... but it can certainly please it with its silky moves. It also posses a flair and a spice, only found in South America. However, there is much debate to actually owns this product, but if its available, there will be plenty of interest.

The 6th hails all the way from Israel. An eye for goal, a pass and a tackle. May not draw as much attention as the other goods, but will probably go for less, but still contribute as much as the others if housed in the right store.

The 7th only arrived in January. Got put to the back of the shelf when it moved across from another London store. Quality there no doubt, also will probably go for less.

There are 2 special items, one hailed from this great shore and the other where we sent our criminals ( ). However, both of these items are reserved. The store will more than likely be torn down, but these two items were probably off before they arrived.

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I'd like one two footed striker to go please

[Tim W]

The only one I'd look at is Green

[Jayhawk]

I wouldn't touch Tevez with a ten foot poll

[The Moos]

I wouldn't touch Tevez with a ten foot poll

I wouldn't use Graham either

[Scott]

How about Bowyer??????????

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Ha Ha Ha Ha......!!

[clubhappy]

Just heard Curbishley has ordered his players to drive around London using their mobile phones .

He says its the only way they'll get 3 points.

[bonetti]

Just heard that OXO are going to rebrand their gravy mix

The packaging will now be claret and blue and it will be re-named Laughing Stock

[dkw]

ashtons the only player id consider. and i honestly thnk hed be an excellent player for us. very much in the drogba mould.