5 Point Plan for Success Next Season!!!

[Jimboola69]

My mates and I played this last night (while on the lash - god my head hurts) for our teams (Chelsea, Pompey and Man Ure) so I thought it would be good to bring to the forums.

Basically we come up with a 5 point plan of ACHIEVEABLE plans to maximise success for our beloved club next season.

Oh and justify them (of course).

Jimboola's provisional 5

(in later posts I may change my mind, especially if someone makes me believe in their vision).

1. Buy Tevez. As I have said until EVERYONE is blue in the face, this man is EXACTLY the man we need. With a restored Joey in the middle next year at the head of the diamond, and Tevez playing off Drog/Sheva (rotate them dammit) we would have true guile and creativity sadly lacking last season when we used Drog to hammer home with sheer brute force last season. Critics called us boring...sadly they were right.

2. Sacrifice the League Cup. Sure it is nice to win, but if we do not try the kids here where do they come through? (with some experience used of course)

How about this for a starting XI

Cudicini

Diara

Manciene

Boula/Alex/Ben Haim *

Bridge/Cole *

Mikel

Jimmy Smith

Woods

SWP

Sahar

Sinclair/Kalou *

I think variations of that XI would do well, while making sure that the likes of Lamps, Drog and Maka are not so damned shattered as we reach the end of season run in. The * indicates a preference to who has played least that seasn.

3. Sort out our PR staff/office. Our PR in recent seasons has been a joke and despite my feelings for the club everytime I see Peter Kenyon or Simon Greenberg on the TV I think "God they really do come across as slimy scumballs". So firstly stop them appearing on TV, secondly get in some proper professionals who do PR for top people to spin things right. How we could become Britains most hated with Scousepool and Man Ure around being odious is truly beyond me.

4. Sort out the Stamford Bridge pitch. Yes it is affected by a water-table, yes the stadium design is not good for the grass etc etc etc. But come on, we are cash rich yet have a pitch standard that most locals commons would laugh at. The only way that our pitch is superior to the local pitches near me is that our pitch has less dog turds on it...except when we entertain Liverpool.

5. Have a dedicated noise section at the bridge. Apparently this has already been done in some clubs in Germany, especially one really commie loving club. Basically we are talking about an area of only a few hundred who are allowed to bring in previously 'okayed' drums, rattles, trumpets, hooters etc. I know at the bridge we have lots of African boys and West Indians...get a good (steel) drumming going! It has to be worth a try!

So there we go. The definative 5. Taking from me getting lashed, although I am not totally sure those were the 5...but anyway. They are the definative five...until I hear better.

EDit - For spelling etc...

[Kalou]

I 100% second everything you have just said and totally agree!!!

[Barn]

I hate musical instruments at football. It's for foreigners. English fans drink beer, Shout, Chant, throw things (celery/plastic garden furniture etc), and take the piss out of everything and everyone.

[Valerie]

If anything drives me insane it's the noise of drums and trumpets and the like. I can only tolerate voiceboxes in the stands!

[callista]

3. Sort out our PR staff/office. Our PR in recent seasons has been a joke and despite my feelings for the club everytime I see Peter Kenyon or Simon Greenberg on the TV I think "God they really do come across as slimy scumballs". So firstly stop them appearing on TV, secondly get in some proper professionals who do PR for top people to spin things right. How we could become Britains most hated with Scousepool and Man Ure around being odious is truly beyond me.

Glad it's not just me who thinks that, although I have not really thought too much about Simon Greenberg but Peter Kenyon makes my skin crawl, he smiles too much (and it never looks genuine), he comes out with comments that sound monstrously arrogant or just plain ridiculous and when he needs to step up to the PR plate (when Jose was wanting some kind of love from the board earlier this year) he goes awol or mutters weasel words that make things even worse.

He may be a great bloke in private but I wish Chelsea would find someone else to act as their front man. In fact for all the trouble Jose can cause the club publicity wise I'd rather listen to him any day of the week even in full rant mode than those two. Guess it's called charisma.

[Scott]

1. Yes

2. I'd put Ballack in that squad as well, Obi a first teamer (IMHO). Also throw in Pizzaro.

3. 1000 times YES!

4. It'd be nice.

5. YES please, I think they are on the way to this already. NO horns/drum/bells etc

[Jimboola69]

On the noise and instrument debates, I should say that this would mainly be to keep things 'up' when we are not attacking or scoring. At these times we at the Bridge are plenty noisy...no worries.

However it is the other times, times when not much is happening when you can hear someone three rows away chomping his crisps (that is from personal experience by the way) where we need something, especially whe the stewards jump on any..well...jumping!

That is why I am saying a small section for this, I just want atmosphere rather than crisp chomping...am i so WRONG!!!!

[Tim W]

My 5 point plan is just that we get 5 points for a win everyone else gets 3

Sorted

[Lofty]

1. Banish Liverpool from the Premier League

2. Sell Anfield to the Yanks - make them take it home with them.

3. Make Merseyside an Independent Nation

4. Enforce a trade embargo against Merseyside

5. Detach Merseyside from the UK and let it float away into the Atlantic

No I know this w on't guarantee success, but the country will be a much better place. And besides there hasn't been any serious Scouse bashing on this site for ... oh must be at least a week

[Makelele]

Pai Mei taught you the five point palm exploding heart technique?