Kante Conte

Goal.com is just random blokes interested in football posting when they're bored.

Yeah, it'll be like Newcastle again. Won't be able to raise his game knowing he's at that mediocre lot.

Obviously fitter than he should have been cos he didn't fail the bleeding medical! Sorry. Just ignore. Going to be a little while for the system to clear.

Damn it. So he doesn't hate Tottenham after all.

" Second Ex Blues Ace To Make Shock Return 31st Aug 2016 - 22:33 London Based News outlet Kan-tec ONT is reporting that a second former Chelsea player may be in the process of securing a sensational return to the West London club. The news comes just hours after eccentric Brazilian 'defender' David Luiz returned following two eventful seasons at French Champions Paris Saint Germain. The man in question is none other than Liverpool's Daniel Sturridge. The England hitman has been frustrated at being sidelined by manager Jurgen Klopp and has been told he is free to leave before the summer transfer window shuts at 23:30 hours tonight. Whilst it is understood that his chances may be limited with Diego Costa and summer arrival Mitchy Batshuayi also being on the books at Chelsea, Sturridge is thought to be tempted at the prospect of playing as part of a front two and in his preferred central position. The fee thought to be requested by his current club is in the region of £22m. Speaking exclusively to Kan-Tec ONT, a source close to the player has revealed Sturridge feels it is as good a time as any for dubious acquisitions to gather once more at Chelsea, in their bid to maintain their status as a club vying for spots outside the top four. "He feels if that if a guy like Luiz can return to a welcome that would beat that of even a prime Lampard or Terry, he can only be a success. Clearly, the Chelsea fans have lost their minds."

Azpi Terry. Cahill. Alonso

Right, can we have a signing that actually strengthens the team now, please? A striker, maybe?

What, no hair? That should reduce the fee by half alone.

...

hahaha....Don't you get bored of whinging about whinging? When there's plenty to grumble about, grumble away. I say. :]

Khhhhamesss!

So, that leaves the missing piece to this wonderful window. 40 odd million. Fernando Torres. Do the deal, board. Don't disappoint us. Then we can really start to celebrate. :|

Didn't take long for PSG to accept the offer, did it? Must be gutted he's leaving.

On his day Titus Bramble could rival the best in the world.

Smalling, Jones, Sakho, etc, etc, I would take any of those ahead of Luiz, personally.

Well said.

Can't stop laughing at it. Anyway, what are you going to do? It's all done by the looks of it. (Sorry for the unnecessary quote, mate. Can't seem to unquote things using the phone.)

My God, that is one of the funniest gifts I've seen in a long time. :] Fantastic. You deserve an award of some sort @havelschayes for that post.

Just wait till 10:59pm for the next joyous transfer window magic trick from Chelsea. "Zouma completes loan switch to Schalke - with option to buy." Don't know how I'll contain my joy at that one...

Iva offers that already. Luiz makes no sense whatsoever. Sentimental nonsense.

You don't need to think to know it's a joke. David Luiz = joke personified. Can't believe this. Sorry for all the negativity, such an awful buy.

Nope. David Luiz circus has rolled into town. :[

A good personality doesn't make up for ability on the pitch. Really don't get this David Luiz fetish. You got rid of him once for 50m and now you buy him back for a ridiculous fee when he's 29. (Sorry, RIP Mourinho. Can't seem to remove your quote, hence the two empty quote boxes)

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. Only Chelsea would do something as daft as this.

Bl****y h**k This is almost as frightening as