Izanagi

Based on that performance United are in serious f**king trouble for the next fixtures in the league. Tottenham (Home) (Lose) Liverpool (Away) (Lose) Villa (Home) (Win) City (Home) (Lose) Chelsea (Away) (Lose) Everton (Away) (Draw) They are in serious trouble. Spurs look a real threat this year to their top four hopes, Liverpool are going to bury them alive at Anfield, City will twat them out of the park, and we will absolutely crucify them at the Bridge. If we do not beat them at home I will be extremely disappointed.

Don't think we're keeping a clean sheet this time. 2-1 to us.

Oh for f**k sake. Should be 2-0

Someone is getting sent off here.

f**king hell West Ham are dirty. Zouma's taking a hammering.

Costa should have buried that. Could be costly.

HAZARD!

Diego Simeone could do a very good job at City. I'd be worried if he went there.

Pellegrini is a goner if you ask me. If we were further ahead, which we should if it were not for the FA and certain referees, then I'd even wager that'd be gone already.

Johnson getting trolled hard on social media. Some twisted f**k even edited his wikipedia page to say "goals scored. U15: 1"

Looked like he was in nirvana up there. So stoked for the lad. He's our future.

Jose giving a shout out to Courtios. Good man.

Hey Spurs fans. I thought there was meant to be a "Hurricane" hitting us today. What happened there?

What a day, what a f**king day everyone. Glad that Matic got his kit on and went up with us, real "f**k you" to the FA. The squad probably told him to do it if we won the game.

I know it feels weird to be winning things in England Cesc but you'll get used to it.

Special shout out to Azpi for marking Kane out of the game and taking an absolute battering the entire match. What a soldier.

Hah. f**k off Spuds. Silverware for us!

Azpi STILL battling. What a soldier.

Daniel Levy with a face like a slapped arse.

Azpi is the Spanish Spartan.

Azpi you f**king warrior.

How the f**k is Dier on the pitch still?

Time for a change I think. Willian and Ramires off for Cuadrado and Oscar.

Touch-wood but I think we've gotten into our stride.

Christ! Almost 3!