As we all know, Chelsea has always been linked with just about every up-and-coming, unsettled, or former Mourinho player (or sometimes just a complete random player). Here, I take a look at a team of recent transfer rumours, thanks to our good friends the English media (for creating the bulls**t in the first place).

Goalkeeper: Victor Valdes (Barcelona)

Right back: Sergio Ramos (Real Madrid)

Centre backs: Eliaqium Mangala and Nicolas Otamendi (Porto)

Left back: Luke Shaw (Southampton)

Holding midfielders: Xabi Alonso and Sami Khedira (Real Madrid)

Right midfield: Fredy Guarin (Internazionale)

Left midfield: Julian Draxler (Schalke 04)

Central attacking midfield: Wayne Rooney (Manchester United)

Striker: Radamel Falcao (Monaco)

Subs:

Butland (was a while ago, I know but couldn't find many other keepers)

Zouma

Ranocchia

Bakayoko

Imbula

Balotelli

Suarez (on the bench because Falcao has been linked with us)

So...what do you reckon the chances of this happening in January is then? (!)

sh*t, I'd take anyone on that list except Valdes, whom I don't think has been linked with us at all, where did you get that one? He's so bad. We have Thibaut C

Imagine Rooney and Falcao both showing up here next summer.

If we signed every player on that list some people on here would still want more.

sh*t, I'd take anyone on that list except Valdes, whom I don't think has been linked with us at all, where did you get that one? He's so bad. We have Thibaut C

A couple of months ago. Just do a Google search of "Valdes" and "Chelsea" and it should come up. As is the case with most of these links, it was a completely made-up transfer rumour haha

Balotelli? Are you serious? We have enough problems, we don't need to have another. When was this, anyway?

He is a fantastic player but Jose already knows the kind of problems he brings so i cant see it happening.

To be fair right now I'd take Balotelli over our current 3 strikers even if he is a pain in the ass.

Balotelli is a player you love to watch and laugh at the stuff he does because he isnt at your club but if he was our player it would be such a pain in the arse. Anyway as i said Jose has already tried to manage him before so i cant see him doing it again. Also Mario wanted to go back to Italy to be close to his friends and family i dont see why he would move away from them all again.