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Jeff Stelling


Gem

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This guy is surely the best guy Sky have on their books, makes Soccer Saturday absolutely top entertainment and most importantly enjoyable. Losing his voice today but managed to keep going without letting it effect him. Also, I don't condone bias in the media unless it's towards Chelsea nono.gif but whenever James Brown scores for Hartlepool I can't help but join in with the little dance he does icon_lol.gif

He also made a quip today about the last time Spuds won at the Bridge, it was the last Liverpool had won the league, THAT’S HOW LONG AGO IT WAS!!! Fantastic stuff!

Just looked up his profile on Wikipedia and found these gems too:

Stelling often delivers one-liners if a player with a certain name appears on the vidiprinter. Examples include the following:

- When Gareth Jelleyman was sent off for Mansfield Town in the 2005-2006 season Stelling replied "it looks as if Jellyman has thrown a wobbly".

- Whenever Adam Stansfield scores, he says 'Lisa will be pleased'.

- Similarly, he says 'Sally will be pleased' whenever former Montrose player Kevin Webster scores.

- Also whenever Kevin Nolan scores for Bolton Wanderers, Jeff usually says, "his sisters will be pleased". icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

- When Guylain Ndumbu-Nsungu scored for Sheffield Wednesday, Jeff quipped "Local boy makes good"

- "There's only one Enoch Showunmi. Thank God for that"!

- Whenever Barney Gillespie scores for Accrington Stanley, Jeff jokes "They only paid him £20!"

- Once when Michael Kightly scored for Wolverhampton Wanderers Jeff said "Kightley onto a flyer"

- Once when Craig Alcock almost scored for Yeovil Town, Jeff laughed "Craig can't seem to put it away!"

- Whenever a player called Stephenson scores, Jeff says " I bet that was a rocket".

- When Daniel Agger scored a spectacular goal against West Ham United at Anfield during the 2006–07 season, Jeff remarked "Just how did Agger-do that?"

- When James Brown scored for Hartlepool, Jeff sang "I feel good".

- When a passage of play in a Wigan Athletic match involved the player Fitz Hall Jeff comically referred to him as "good old one-size". This was in reference to the commonly used phrase one size fits-all.

- When Bristol Rovers striker Andy Williams scores, Jeff points out it was a free transfer, and that the transfer was "too good to be true" in a reference to a line from singer Andy Williams' song Can't Take My Eyes Off You. This despite the fact that Williams was actually signed from Hereford United for a six figure fee.

- One of Stelling's famous catchphrases on his Sky Sports show occurred whenever the Welsh team "Total Network Solutions" (now The New Saints FC) won a game, upon which he invariably commented, "They'll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight". Stelling has now updated the catchphrase to "dancing in the streets of The New Saints" as the team has changed its name.

Some of them priceless icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif even if just for being terrible!

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I don't like him that much actually...he actually makes a lot of comments that are anti-chelsea most of the time and I find the sky team on a saturday rather smug, not surprising as their usually blowing sunshine up arsenal, man u and Liverpool's (if they're winning) arses...maybe he's bitter at how much he had to pay for his kid's shirts!

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He even has his own soccer saturday drinking game:

Current Rules:

- Everytime a goal is scored:- 1 shot of beer

- Every sending off:- 1 shot of Jager (or substitute)

- Half time:- Absolutley no alcoholic beverages may be

imbibed during this period.

- Whenever Chris Kamara is talking:- You must be drinking

- Whenever Merson uses stupid rhyming slang (i.e."he's hit the beans on toast"!):- 1 shot of Jager

- In the second half, all teams can only be referred to by their nicknames:- Failure to do so results in a 3 beer shot penalty.

- Whenever Swindon Town appear on the vidiprinter: - Last person to shout out 'Mackerel' takes shot of Jager.

- Whenever Dundee appear on the vidiprinter:- Last person to shout out 'Football' takes shot of Jager.

- Everytime Phil Thompson says 'Stevie Gerrard':- 3 shots of beer.

- Everytime Jeff makes an 'A Trialist' joke:- 3 shots of beer.

- Everytime your team score:- 2 extra shots of beer

- Everytime Matty Taylor and 'Goal of the Season' are mentioned in the same sentence:- 1 shot of Jager

- Everytime Jeff calls Kenny Deucher 'The Good Doctor':- 1 shot of Whisky

- Any hint of racism (social or otherwise) from any of the pundits:- Quad bombs (4 jager+redbull) all round

- Everytime Hartlepool score a goal:- 3 shots of beer

- Everytime a pundit shouts off camera:- 2 shots of beer

- Everytime LeTiss is mentioned in connection with a takeaway: - 1 shot of Jager

- Whenever Chris Kamara says "its unbelievable Jeff", all drinks must be downed

- Everytime Jeff mentions "dancing in the streets of TNS: - 1 shot of jager

- Everytime Jeff says "its Doom and Gloom at..." - 1 shot of jager

- Everytime the team 'Keith' is referred to as just being one guy :- 1 shot of jager

- Everytime Brighton & Hove, or Daggers & Redbridge are jokingly referred to as two different teams playing the same oppo :- 1 shot of jager

- Everytime when Arbroath striker Kevin Webster scores and Stelling says "ohh, Sally will be pleased" :- 1 shot of Jager.

- Everytime anything bad happens to Craig Bellemy (injury, og, booked, arrested for assault etc.) :- 2 celebratory shots of the spirit of choice.

- Whenever Northampton Town appear on the vidiprinter, last person to shout out 'Cobblers' :- shot of Jager

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