Stas1

Entertaining, but for wrong reasons. Complete mess at the back clearly upsets the mood and flow at the front. Individual mistakes really do beggar belief.

He is the wrong league

Delap is so clueless, that if they change a handle on the front door, he would never get into the club again.

Intelligence wise, the whole current sqaud combined is much less than one Lampard or Terry. Really scary how dumb they are.

We do have weak-minded players. Tosin, Gusto, Fofana - just a few from the whole dumb bunch at the club. They are so thick that we will struggle to offload them to any self-respecting club.

Right, boys and gals. You obviously know jack sh*t about football. It is all about data and presentation. Pie charts, line graphs and scatter plots are the most important aspects of the game. Liam and his team can produce the most mind blowing PowerPoint slides.

I want to come in! For a modest fee. Similar results guaranteed. And I will make post match interviews highly entertaining with lots of silly jokes.

We have a training ground!?

How are we supposed to attract top players to the club? No one in their right mind and full of ambition will even consider joining us. Instead, I fully expect the likes of Palmer and Estevao force their way out.

Not even upsetting or frustrating any more. Hope and expectation are non grata in my current relationship with the club. The only consolatory feeling is of schadenfreude seeing the stupid yanks fleeced for a billion squid by unscrupulous clubs and agents flogging them donkeys for the price of purebred arabian stallions.

Enzo is surely a handicap to the team: too weak, too slow, hesitant when action is called for and reckless when cool clear head is needed, easily crumbles under pressure, really bad at long shot and at duels.

Circus FC. Clownery throughout.

Is he the shortest on the pitch? Not much use in the box at free kick?

They are so lethargic and delayed in movement and decision making as if they all are recovering from a heavy night out.

I truely believe that if I took over Maresca and appointed my mates as assistants, I would deliver very similar results but for much less money and for more laughs at press conferences.

Talent multiplied by composure. Thats why paid shed load of dosh for this.

Weak in body, spirit and technique. But has bright white teeth and a broad smile. Whats not to like? Sometimes I wonder if the players are scouted by the sports director's wife.

Regardless how it ends, please someone show Maresca the door

I know for absolute sure that Badiashile will never have brain concussion

It is all a cunning plan to confuse the opposition. I have been more resentful only to the fat spanish waiter.

Yes, he tricks the opposition by dribbling the ball back to his half

No, he is simply clueless

Garnacho = Mudryk on steroids + Gittens. Fixed it for you.

With every great club during the game the cameramen woud seek out managers - pensive or enraged, sad or happy, despondent or gesticulating to players. With Maresca it might as well be a cardboard cutout. Dull, grey nothing.

Dont know about players, but I do have a panick attack every time when they have to defend. Iam just expecting a f**k up from any of them at any time out of nothing.