Can everyone make a collective plea for Xfactor to sit on the famous winning sofa for the weekend please? I could stomach losing to Tel Aviv, but not to the Arse.

Basically if he's not on the sofa and we lose, it's all his fault and frankly he's a bit of c**t. 

X, are you on the sofa?   

I'm drinking from a Chelsea mug, wearing a Chelsea hoodie. I'm doing my bit. Is everybody doing theirs, like wearing lucky underwear, stuff like that?

I'm here, bowl of nuts and glass of beer willing this for us with every ounce of my being.

The duchess is prepping tonight's supper and is making a point chopping all red peppers and tomatoes with anti Arsenal aggression, the pizza dough is pasty faced Wenger.

The magic is gone mate. Was there against both Swansea and Palace. It was a good run though, did the tally the other day 24-2-1 with some marquee wins sprinkled in

Find a new sofa. This is unacceptable.

Find a new sofa. This is unacceptable.

Agreed. If we all chip in with a fiver, a new winning sofa should be off and running asap. This is crucial!

Are dfs having a sale? What am I saying, of course they bloody are.