http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/t...ool/7753417.stm

So let me get this straight

In 16 months Torres has had 5 hamstring injuries. In that time he has played or two clubs, Spain and Liverpool. Three have occurred whilst playing for Spain. Now I am no Stephen Hawking but having consulted my abacus that would mean two of them have occurred whilst playing for Liverpool so hardly pointing toward a clear case against the Spanish national team.

However just in case there was any doubt left that his claims are twaddle there is the little fact that whilst playing for Atletico he had 0 hamstring injuries and in that same period he played for... wait for it... Spain.

The crown prosecution service has reluctantly decided there is no case for Spain to answer!

I'm not so sure. I think Spain has a lot to answer for. Wasn't that where Torres was born?

Rumour has it Peter Kenyon was conceived in Spain!

There's another rumour that PK was not conceived at all, he just crawled out from under a stone.

Spain is where the fat Spanish gay icon with the dodgy beard was conceived and dropped upon an underserving planet. And try as I might, I can't find a reason to blame Kenyon for that one.

Over to you.

Spain is where the fat Spanish gay icon with the dodgy beard was conceived and dropped upon an underserving planet. And try as I might, I can't find a reason to blame Kenyon for that one.

Over to you.

Kenyon was the midwife.

All Benitez knows how to do is bitch and eat

All Benitez knows how to do is bitch and eat

And misplace his razor