Timmy Elms

Anyone who runs over Dean Gaffney can’t be all bad….

In no particular order. Fleck, Fleck, Fleck, Fleck, Fleck, Fleck, Fleck and Fleck

Big Lad Micky Droy.

Played ten minutes against Ardiles, friendly against Sutton Utd, came on as sub. Couldn’t get near him. Light years away in awareness. He also run with his elbows out which made him difficult to get close to. Different class

Digressing slightly, however the semi final loss to Man Utd, Villa Park 96, was a bitter pill to swallow. One nil up, lost two one. Massive mob after the game on that grassy bank. Went up in mates car. Scarves out the windows. Doing the back streets in Birmingham, before we know it there’s a mini convoy of fellow Chelsea fans following us. We ended up in a dead end street with half a dozen cars behind us. Bloke in car behind pipes up “ We thought you knew where you were going?” Martin “ What you going on about. I’m going to see my Aunt Mable at number six. You can’t come in”

Regarding Peter Bonetti, or Rita Spaghetti as me old man called him. The Cat…..” Gives me kittens when he goes up for a cross” was another of his expressions…. Played top flight football for twenty years. Didn’t accumulate enough cash to retire, went on to be a postman on a remote Scottish Island. Can’t imagine Jordan Pickford doing similar…. He was a Putney boy. After Alan Hudson, probably the closest born to Stamford Bridge in our history

Went to Borota’s debut, the nil nil against Liverpool. One heck of a crush, getting through the Bovril Gate en route to the benches. He was a bit erratic in general. Like Bonetti and John Phillips before, he couldn’t kick the ball very far. It was a treat a few years down the line when Eddie came in, with his shallow half volley that went miles- how many goals did we score with a kick from his hands, a Speedie flick on, and Dixon beating the keeper one on one…. Kevin “ Alfred “ Hitchcock. No idea whether true on not, but there was a rumour going round that he had a foot long todger

We’ve had many duds over the years, however can’t think of of another blindingly obvious dud, who’s been granted so much game, especially on such a crucial position. Can only guess this fella in training looks Messi look like Doug Rougvie

Had a white make Chelsea player called a black female police officer white and stupid, his contract would have been terminated immediately, regardless of court case, context, or external factors. Pukers are taxi drivers worst nightmare. They cannot work again until the interior is valeted, and I would have thought they were validated in seeking compensation. Many years back we got in a minincab worse for wear. The driver told us “ anyone spews and it’ll cost you a hundred quid “ A couple of minutes later, I can see my mate starting to reach….he vomited inside his shirt which was tucked into his trousers. The driver chucked him out but we avoided the fine. Nice piece of improvisation

Every once in a while, we learn of something that knocks us for six. That occurred this morning whilst reading yesterday match report in The Mail on Sunday. The reporter is Kieran Gill. ” Since December 4th, Palmer has created 32 chances in the Premier League, more than any other player in any of Europes Elite Divisions. However none of those have been have been converted by his team mates, leaving him with zero assists. It is an extraordinary statistic, and one which emphasises their wastefulness in front of goal”

The Shed end roof probably protected 25% of the end from the elements. Nothing like the North Bank Highbury, or the Liverpool Kop ( the latter kept everyone dry) Clubs didn’t invest much in facilities pretty much up to the Premiership era, however think if we’d put decent roofs on the Shed, and the North terrace, our attendances would had improved. Attracted floating fans during sh*t weather, and existing fans who didn’t fancy spending the afternoon in the pissing rain. It’s not like building a new stand- only a modest steel frame with columns and rafters above, covered in crinkly tin.

Facially, and body shape, reckon he closely resembles Pele of all people. Pele however, how more football intelligence in his left big toe nail, that Jacko has in his entire anatomy. In fairness, he’s improved a great deal this season. There’s legions of technically superior, less error prone forwards, who can’t match his scoring rate.

Xmas 82- we were supposed to play West Ham at Upton Park- match abandoned due to frozen pitch- hundreds of CFC went to Highbury Arsenal v Spurs- first couple of minutes into game Graeme Roberts kicked Charlie Nicholas into the advertising hoarding. Horrendous tackle, made Chopper Harris look like June Whitfield…and the play was waved on…

Did Graham Roberts play Centre Back or was he holding job in midfield?

The flying mallet?

Rougvie had an impressive body structure, but never thought of him as a hard man. Erland Johnson much more the real deal.

Where can you buy sheepskin coats in London these days? New rather than Camden/ Portobello Road vintage. I remember the advert for some clothes outlet which peddled them, late 70’s “ The Big Red Building, on Petticoat Lane…”

Lovely Jubbly….sold for 70 nicker profit.

You don’t really get much irreverent silliness at football anymore. Nothing could me more bonkers than singing one man went to mow a meadow. Totally stupid but we didn’t give a f**k.

Must have been first season of West Stand as opposed to the West Terrace. Loved the old West Stand. Ugly but quirky

Edit: banning orders started to kick in around then, and you were prohibited from being a certain distance from the ground. Canning Town must have just fell outside radius. Lots of banned peoples friends also fell by the wayside- “ Well Charllie used to pick me up and drive to The Bridge, now he’s banned, so I’ll spend Saturday trawling round Sainsbury’s with the missus” etc