Celery1989

This one's got a lot of traction over the last few days in various grounds. I heard us singing something similar against Norwich: To the tune of Que Sera: Steeve Gerraard, Gerraaaard, He slipped on his f*cking aaaarse, He gave it to Demba Baaaa, Steve Gerraaaard, Gerraard.

At lost has been written in recent days about Jose's management this season, so I though I'd share my assessment of how Jose's done this year: Overall, Jose has done a pretty decent job in my eyes given the limitations of the current squad. In light of the experience of certain players, our lack of goals and our defensive strength, I think Jose correctly identified the counter-attacking philosophy as the correct one for us this year. The results of this have been mixed though, in my opinion. Defensively, we've improved a lot from last season, whether we choose to press high up the pitch or when we park the bus. Our collective organisation is much better than it ever was under RDM and Benitez. Also, Gary Cahill has improved enormously for me, and it's great to see JT re-instated as Captain and lynchpin of our back four once again. The Ivan-Cahill-JT-Dave axis looks quite formidable at times. Jose made a great move in signing Matic too, who figures to be an integral player for us for years to come in terms of screening the back four and transferring the ball from defence to attack. I'm really happy about how effective we've become in attacking corners and freekicks, but I think we need to improve on these defensively. We've leaked a lot of silly goals from corners this year. As far as the attack is concerned, despite our mediocre CF's, I still feel that our AM's should have scored and assisted more this season. I think this has partly been due to the overriding focus given at times to pressing and defending as a unit. I sometimes feel as though the creative abilities of the AM's are blunted by how much defensive work they are asked to do. Also, we don't seem to have enough cohesion and understanding in attack, particularly amongst the AM's. How often do you see us just lump the ball into the box once we have passes it from side to side? To rectify these problems, I'd like to see Jose give the fullbacks more licence to attack as this will help us a lot, particularly against a parked bus. Attacking fullbacks create overlaps, pulling defenders out of position. A genuine left-footed LB would be needed for this, as would having Dave shifted to RB. Also, I feel that a top striker should be able to galvanise the AM's into a more efficient attacking unit, something which a CM that can pass the ball incisively would assist with massively too. With a more rounded squad, Jose will have more tactical options with which to set the side to fit against specific opposition.

In light of the experience of certain players, our lack of goals and our defensive strength, I think Jose made the right decision in adopting a defensive strategy for the key games this season. I really commend Jose for largely solidifying our defence this season, something that I was eager to see from August onwards. We're much harder to beat than we were last season, and the Ivanovic-Cahill-Terry-Dave axis looks formidable at times. I also think that, in the big games, especially away from home, Jose is right to set us up in the defensive way that he has, given our lack of threat up front. However, I can't help but feel that the focus given to defending as a collective unit has blunted our attacking midfielders in attack somewhat. There are times when I feel that the AM's focus so much defensively that, when we win the ball, we don't have enough energy to launch any incisive attacks. How often do you see our attacks just fall apart, be it due to an inaccurate pass, cross or the lack of any real ideas? I really think that Jose needs unleash the AM's a little more next year, perhaps not in the biggest games but certainly against teams not in the hunt for European qualification and above. In addition, Jose must give the full backs more licence to attack, especially when we are struggling against an opposition that defends deep. Attacking fullbacks create overlaps and pull defenders out of position, something which would help us a lot IMO against the parked bus. I'd like to see Dave at RB and a left footed LB next year, especially when we're at home against mediocre opponents. For me, Dave should only play LB in big games away from home where our defensive qualities are paramount. Overall, I'd like to see us attack more next season, but whilst retaining the collective defensive quality that we've developed this season. With the tweaks that I've mentioned above, added to a genuine no.9 and a centre mid that can pick a pass and offer a goalscoring threat, I think we can find the optimal medium. A more rounded squad will give Jose more scope to adopt different tactics for different opposition.

Schürrle 6.5/10 - A mixed bag. Clearly a natural finisher, perhaps the most clininal that we have at the club aside from Eto'o. Can strike a ball very well. I like his workrate and the directness he gives to our game. However, he needs to work on his overall link-up play. Very inconsistent thus far, but I like his skillset and think that he's worth persevering with. Schwarzer 7/10 - Has done what was asked since Cech's injury. Should have done better with the Wickham goal, but overall a decent effort. Willian 6.5/10 - His workrate has been terrific, particularly out wide, and his link up play with the other AM's has been very neat at times. However, we spent £30 million on Willian and therefore he needs to score more goals and more importantly come up with more assists next season. Next year is a big year not only for the club but for Willian on a personal level too. I'd like to see more of as the no.10, he seems to do more damage there rather than out wide. Eto'o 7.5/10 - Exceeded my expectations by a long way. Clearly can still finish but sadly his best days are well behind him. All in all, for a player nearing retirement, I think he did everything he could this season. Scored some very important goals, and overall I think he's been the most successful of our signings over the course of the season. I don't think he'll be here next year, which, despite his successful contribution so far, is for the best. Matic 7/10 - I'm a really big fan of Matic. He adds a lot that was missing from our midfield - power, tactical discipline, strong tackling and size. I still think he can improve on his passing, particularly in terms of finding the incisive ball. Has been a colossus for us in the big games, watching him mug off Yaya Toure was a particular highlight for me this season. If he had been with us from the start of the season I'd give him an 8. Now we need to find a natural passer to set the tempo alongside him... Salah 6/10 - Similar report to Schürrle - Inconsistent so far, but clearly has talent. Absolutely rapid and can finish too. I think he could be a deadly option for us away from home next year, particularly in the Champions League. Looks to have some trickery as well, something that we lack outside of Hazard. As with Schürrle, lots of potential to work with.

Lmao! Get in Palace!!

I don't think what Hazard said is that big of an issue as I've read the interview in it's full context and to me he didn't say anything controversial. He rather just stated the obvious about what kind of team we are. However, what does bother me is how tactless Jose can sometimes be in these situations. The media prey off comments just like this and will ramp up the Hazard to PSG speculation tenfold. I know Mourinho only means this to improve Hazard as a team player but if you were him wouldn't you feel a little pissed off that your manager had to publically criticise you for something which he could have just said quietly in private? I really hope this doesn't create a rift of any sort, really not what we need.

I'm sure the media will jump all over this but sounds like a non-story to me.

Essien arrived and he wanted to go I think.

Strangely don't feel all that dejected after that, never really felt that we deserved to go through and I still feel that reaching the semi's is a good achievement in the overall development of our team. At the start of the season I didn't think we'd get past the Quarters, and would have taken that and 3rd place in the league. Whether the miracle happens or not in the league, I still believe we've had a succesful season. We have definitely improved overall from last year, and if we can add more firepower upfront and overall ruthlessness to the impact Jose's tutelage has, and will have, on our collective workrate and resilience, then I'm certain that we'll compete strongly for trophies.

Who was at Anfield yesterday? Did you see the fight that happened outside the ground? Daily Mail claim that a Chelsea fan spat on the Hillsborough memorial yet it's nowhere near where the picture was taken...

Fulham is generally a good laugh. Been there the last two seasons, both 3-0 victories but sadly the Fulham fans don't seem to know what a chant is so it's quite one-sided. Spurs away is awesome, this is the one we are up for the most. West Ham away is good. Not been to Arsenal (yet). It can get quite fractious at Villa actually. In terms of prices, we get charged about £40-£50 by pretty much every club. Of course the further you travel the more it will cost. Trains are absolutely extortionate these days. Best is to get a lift if at all possible, but of course it's more fun to be on the train. I've seen a lot of chat on Twitter already concerning Lisbon and it seems like the most affordable option right now is to fly to Porto and to get a train. Can't remember how much the prices are but it's a fraction of what going to Lisbon would be.

Modric would be perfect IMO. Modric-Matic has a nice ring to it as well.

There is absolutely no way we can sign both Costa and Cavani in FFP terms. You'd be looking at a combined transfer fee of at least £100million. If we get one of them I'm happy, and it seems like Costa is much likelier.

Arsenal fans are atrocious when it comes to banter so that doesn't surprise me. I saw lots of things on Twitter about us taking over Finsbury Park etc on the night. As you say, 9000 is an enormous allocation. Capital One Cup games tend to give greater allocations to away fans, I don't really get why.

I missed the Arsenal Capital One Cup game, quite annoyed actually because everyone was saying it was awesome and sounded that way on tv! Was cheap as well. Was there for Fulham though which was cracking and had a fantastic curry followed by a night out as well afterwards in Clapham.

Been away 6 times this year in the league and went to Madrid. Our away support is brilliant. Nice that the club recognise this and decided to subsidise the away tickets for the last few.

Got to say I'm still feeling somewhat fatigued from the trip. As my first European away it was absolutely terrific. 3 thoroughly enjoyable days in Madrid, fuelled by a steady supply of beer, tapas, sunshine, good humour and vocal support. Even managed to have a chat and take a picture with Neil Barnett in the pub and hit a nice little score on the roulette table. I'm not sure how many of you guys were out there but for those that were thank you so much for being part of what was an unforgettable trip for me. Shame that the game was so nondescript but the support more than made up for it. Come on the Chels!

Evening guys - I hope I'm not t(h)reading on anyones toes here but I thought it could be a good idea to have a general away day thread where people can discuss anything from tickets, itinerary, where to meet up for a drink etc. IF we get to Lisbon then I think it could be particularly helpful as its looking like being a fairly expensive trip already.

Was in the Calderon on Tuesday night and I heard a quality one that I hadn’t heard before: To the tune of Depeche Mode’s ‘Just can’t get enough’: When we won in Munich, we f*cked their season up. I just can’t get enough, I just can’t get enough [Don’t remember this verse] I just can’t get enough, I just can’t get enough When Drogba scored we all went f*cking wild, and I just can’t seem to get enough of…do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do, WE HATE TOTTENHAM! lol

Me and my best mate got tickets yesterday to this, absolutely buzzing! First European away and will also spend a couple of days seeing what Madrid has got to offer.

Can anyone explain this? Naturally you'd think that they would increase the loyalty point levels incrementally as the season goes on. However, for PSG away the starting point was something ridiculous like 127 yet for Atletico Madrid away the beginning point has dropped significantly to 97. I know that we have about 3000 tickets for Atletico and only had 2000 for PSG, so is that the reason?

I don't understand why we would be paying €60 million for Costa when he supposedly has a €32 million release clause?

This is the 'must improve' thread, which I created when Cahill was making key errors last year. As you can see, his immense performances this year have led to an upgrade in the thread's title . I hope he can be our next captain as he seems to be a great professional. Like others, I'm not quite sure he's a a natural in that role.

Very good performance by Willian on Saturday, capped off by a superb goal. Really would like to see more of him as the no.10, he seems to be much more dangerous in the middle than he is out wide. Also, in my opinion Willian doesn't have the natural instincts of a winger in terms of taking defenders on towards the byline and making incisive runs inside the fullback in the way that Schurrle does (more the latter). I love Willian's workrate defensively which we'd still get from him as the no.10. Finally, Oscar can't be run into the ground next season like he has been this year and so we really need someone else to step up to the plate in his absence.

I like your thinking regarding Oscar, but I think that Jose is set on him as the number 10. Overall, I think that is the best fit for Oscar. I'd really like to see Willian given a chance as the number 10 more often. Yesterday he was given a rare chance to play in the middle of the 3 and excelled. When he tore us apart for Shakhtar he did so as the number 10 as well. For whatever reason he seems to be a greater threat through the middle.