Izanagi

As much as we like him I agree with what has been said in that out of our attacking midfielders we're most likely to keep hold of Oscar, Willian, and Mata. I can see Hazard eventually going overseas again for an absolutely absurd figure. Any club is looking at AT LEAST £60,000,000 for him.

Pretty boring game at Old Trafford. Now watch Swansea nick it in the last ten minutes.

"We will see after February and March where we are, we are a young team." The press will probably make something out of that sentence.

Round two against Manchester United and this time we host them at Stamford Bridge. Well, what is there to say about this match? When we went to Old Trafford earlier this season United had yet to spectacularly implode like we have seen them now do. We went there anxious about not losing and played for the one point. This time however we host them on our own patch on the back of a good run in the league whereas they have suffered to say the least. There is a good chance they will be missing Van Persie and/or Rooney, their defense is full of holes, and their midfield is pathetic compared to our own. Whichever way you slice it, on paper we seem too much for them to handle. If we score in the first ten minutes and are two/three up by half-time this could be an absolute wipe-out. Cech, Azpilicueta, Cahill, Terry, Cole, Ramires, Luiz, Hazard, Oscar, Willian, Torres. Let's ave' em'

A few thoughts about today's game. We struggled in the first half not because we were necessarily bad, rather because Hull were playing out of their skins. This went against them in the second half when we clearly picked up steam and they fizzled out. Willian is a real work-horse, I can see why Mourinho likes him so much. Hazard is going to be an absolute world-beater in years to come. Torres did not have a whole lot to work with in the first half and didn't fare much better in the second, he made the chances he did get count though.

5-0 and rising.

Negredo hat-trick. Seriously. Manchester City's striking options are absurd, utterly absurd.

Big Sam the next managerial casualty?

Looks like Davy Moyes is in trouble with the FA for slating referees.

Wow. That's creative.

Bookies have suspended all bets... Oh dear god no...

Said this right after the appointment of David Moyes. Screamingly obvious that Ferguson and the Glazers really wanted Jose Mourinho to be the next Manchester United manager but Jose would never turn his back on us. If ANY Manchester United fan thinks that David Moyes was the first choice... despite whatever Ferguson says in his book... They're utterly f**king delusional.

Oh my god my sides are f**king killing me. TalkSport just played the "Glory Glory Man United" song before asking United fans to call in. Seriously, for the love of all things good-and-holy - Listen in to TalkSport ASAP. They're ripping United to pieces. "Glory Glory Man United" just got played again and a caller got trolled.

Redcafe has crashed.

Fun Factoid of the night, Manchester United have broken yet another premier league record tonight. Having a 100% loss average since the start of the new year.

BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHA Oh my f**king god. My stomach hurts.

I swear to god if United lose this... CRY HAVOC!! AND LET SLIP THE TROLLS OF WAR!!

I LOVE MOYES!!

There's a very real possibility of it at the moment provided Liverpool don't randomly implode. As it stands it's between Manchester City, Arsenal, and ourselves for the title. Liverpool are out of contention for the title but certainly not for a Champion's League slot. The only thing that could possibly make an already hysterical season for United pant-pissingly funny is if the team that gets their spot is Everton. Also - We need to make a chant out of this somehow. I used to think that you could manage good, at Everton that's where you probably stood, You were delighted... When you joined United. Now the dream is well-and-truly dead, Wayne Rooney has split his big spud head, now mister Ferguson - he might come back again. You had your chance, but you messed up [HEY!] You've never even won a cup, I hear your voice and its so bland, no respect from United fans. You've still got Giggs, but no more Scholes, your defense is full of holes. You know what's next? It's coming soon. I think that that they're going to FIRE YOU, YEAH FIRE YOU! It needs to happen

This. Oh god, this.

He's pissed at Southampton now, not us... As much.

1:28 onwards. If we can improv' that into a chant (lengthy one though) in time for the game at the Bridge...

It'd be hilariously funny, and would go down in history of the league if Jose utterly out-foxes Moyes during our impending meeting and we end up battering United 6-0 at the Bridge... only for Moyes to get sacked the next morning. Extremely confident of our game at the Bridge. Provided we don't get another Twattenburg-esqe incident I think we'll utterly f**king annihilate them.

I have a sneaking suspicion that if United lose to both Swansea at home and to us at the Bridge we might see a shock transfer request from Rooney materialize.