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A Song For Phil


BlueBeard

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I thought we should have a song competition for our beloved manager - I'll start the ball rolling with this touching little ditty.

This song came to me while in the shower this morning, either I'm seriously worried about the situation at Chelsea or I'm bored sh*tless ::clap2::

To the tune of "That's Amore" (just a shame Dino isn't around to sing it): -

His fans call him Big Phil

But he makes me feel ill

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

Chelsea can't win a game

Cos the boss is insane

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He's too long in the tooth

To take chances with youth

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

While our youth attract bids

Who the f*ck are those kids?

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

Change my team?

What the f*ck d'ya mean

What the f*ck d'ya mean

What the f*ck d'ya mean

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

He won't pay transfer fees

If they don't speak Portugeuse

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He once won the World Cup

But he's f*cked Chelsea up

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He's so thick he can't see

That he's got no Plan B

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

Two up front?

Don't be such a c*nt

Don't be such a c*nt

Don't be such a c*nt

Says Scolari

One will do

If we lose

I will choose

F*ck the Blues

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

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Not really, just sort of came naturally while I was in the shower. Of course, I had to sing it to see if it worked - I'm sure I impressed the neighbours no end :)

Lets hope the next managers got a catchy name Steve....I'm sure next years effort will be a belter :D

I can see it already

He does like to gob

hes a bit of a Knob

(Franky Rijkaard)

when angered he'll spit

he made Barca play sh*t

(Franky Rijkaard)

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I thought we should have a song competition for our beloved manager - I'll start the ball rolling with this touching little ditty.

This song came to me while in the shower this morning, either I'm seriously worried about the situation at Chelsea or I'm bored sh*tless :D

To the tune of "That's Amore" (just a shame Dino isn't around to sing it): -

His fans call him Big Phil

But he makes me feel ill

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

Chelsea can't win a game

Cos the boss is insane

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He's too long in the tooth

To take chances with youth

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

While our youth attract bids

Who the f*ck are those kids?

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

Change my team?

What the f*ck d'ya mean

What the f*ck d'ya mean

What the f*ck d'ya mean

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

He won't pay transfer fees

If they don't speak Portugeuse

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He once won the World Cup

But he's f*cked Chelsea up

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He's so thick he can't see

That he's got no Plan B

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

Two up front?

Don't be such a c*nt

Don't be such a c*nt

Don't be such a c*nt

Says Scolari

One will do

If we lose

I will choose

F*ck the Blues

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

haha brightened up my monday, thanks for that

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Steve

Just to say I just read my reply and realised it made it sound like I was accusing you of some sort of fickle fairweather support type Jobbie...

not my intention and the song for next year is more aimed at the people that were over the moon when Scolari came and then turned on him once things became difficult.

You know I know you wanted Scolari out before he met the players and you haven't seen anything to make you change you're mind (can't understand that :D )

I know I didn't need to say this a you already know, I just don't want other people to think I meant it that way.

If it is Rijkaard though, you must help me finish my ditty..

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I thought we should have a song competition for our beloved manager - I'll start the ball rolling with this touching little ditty.

This song came to me while in the shower this morning, either I'm seriously worried about the situation at Chelsea or I'm bored sh*tless :D

To the tune of "That's Amore" (just a shame Dino isn't around to sing it): -

His fans call him Big Phil

But he makes me feel ill

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

Chelsea can't win a game

Cos the boss is insane

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He's too long in the tooth

To take chances with youth

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

While our youth attract bids

Who the f*ck are those kids?

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

Change my team?

What the f*ck d'ya mean

What the f*ck d'ya mean

What the f*ck d'ya mean

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

He won't pay transfer fees

If they don't speak Portugeuse

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He once won the World Cup

But he's f*cked Chelsea up

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He's so thick he can't see

That he's got no Plan B

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

Two up front?

Don't be such a c*nt

Don't be such a c*nt

Don't be such a c*nt

Says Scolari

One will do

If we lose

I will choose

F*ck the Blues

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

I'll doff my cap to that :)

Brightened up a rather depressing Monday morning

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Your looking alwful and sad,

They really think your bad,

The team just make you swear and curse,

When you're chewing Joses gum,

Don't grumble,

Give a whistle

And this'll help when on a squeaky bum.

And...

Always look on the bright side of life.

[whistle]

Always look on the light side of life.

[whistle]

Your tactics are jolly rotten,

There's something you've forgotten,

And that's to put some pacy wingers on the wing.

The team are in the dumps,

Can you iron out the bumps?

Just hide your shame and sing.

That's the thing.

And...

Always look on the bright side of life.

[whistle]

Always look on the right side of life,

[whistle]

No tactics or Plan B,

The future looks iffy !

You must always face the fans with a bow.

Forget about your sin.

Give the audience a grin.

Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.

So,...

Always look on the bright side of death,

[whistle]

Just before you draw your terminal breath.

[whistle]

Your ideas are all sh*t,

When you look at it.

Life's a laugh but not since under you.

You'll see it's all a show.

Keep 'em laughing as you go.

Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And...

Always look on the bright side of life.

Always look on the right side of life.

[whistle]

Always look on the bright side of life!

[whistle]

Always look on the bright side of life!

[whistle]

Always look on the bright side of life!

[whistle]

Always look on the bright side of life!

[whistle]

Always look on the bright side of life!

[whistle]

Always look on the bright side of life!

[whistle]

Always look on the bright side of life!

[whistle]

Always look on the bright side of life!

[whistle]

Repeat to fade...

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I thought we should have a song competition for our beloved manager - I'll start the ball rolling with this touching little ditty.

This song came to me while in the shower this morning, either I'm seriously worried about the situation at Chelsea or I'm bored sh*tless ;)

To the tune of "That's Amore" (just a shame Dino isn't around to sing it): -

His fans call him Big Phil

But he makes me feel ill

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

Chelsea can't win a game

Cos the boss is insane

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He's too long in the tooth

To take chances with youth

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

While our youth attract bids

Who the f*ck are those kids?

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

Change my team?

What the f*ck d'ya mean

What the f*ck d'ya mean

What the f*ck d'ya mean

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

He won't pay transfer fees

If they don't speak Portugeuse

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He once won the World Cup

But he's f*cked Chelsea up

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He's so thick he can't see

That he's got no Plan B

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

Two up front?

Don't be such a c*nt

Don't be such a c*nt

Don't be such a c*nt

Says Scolari

One will do

If we lose

I will choose

F*ck the Blues

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

::clap2::

:rolleyes:

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Delete this sh*t now. It's done and dusted, whilst I can appreciate the work gone into these admittedly clever chants, I don't think there's any need to rub his nose in it with stuff like this tbh

Get a sense of humour mate! And I wouldn't feel too sorry for Scolari, after all he's a multi-millionaire and will walk straight into another job. And keep it to yourself, but I think there's a pretty good chance he doesn't read Chelsea forums and therefore won't get too offended :getmycoat:

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We brought in Felipe

and he didn't come cheap

(poor Scolari)

we started of bright

the appointment looked right

(poor Scolari)

The fullbacks got up

was our name on the Cup

(poor Scolari)

Then injuries soared

its two games since we scoared

(poor Scolari)

at the bridge they had Banners

our fans sure have sh*t manners

(poor Scolari)

they booed him like Grant

with an embaressing chant

(poor Scolari)

The players were lazy

sacking him was plain Crazy

(Poor Scolari)

Who will be next

Im just dreading the texts

(please not Rijkarrd)

I cant watch the news

in case to fill his shoes

(we get Rijkaard)

I'll be pretty distraught

if the sky news report

(says it's Rijkaard)

If I turn on talksport

and it's bad as I thought

(poxy Rijkaard)

I just checked out the odds

prayed to all football gods

(it's not Rijkaard)

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