A Song For Phil

BlueBeard · February 9, 2009

I thought we should have a song competition for our beloved manager - I'll start the ball rolling with this touching little ditty.

This song came to me while in the shower this morning, either I'm seriously worried about the situation at Chelsea or I'm bored sh*tless ::clap2::

To the tune of "That's Amore" (just a shame Dino isn't around to sing it): -

His fans call him Big Phil

But he makes me feel ill

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

Chelsea can't win a game

Cos the boss is insane

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He's too long in the tooth

To take chances with youth

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

While our youth attract bids

Who the f*ck are those kids?

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

Change my team?

What the f*ck d'ya mean

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

He won't pay transfer fees

If they don't speak Portugeuse

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He once won the World Cup

But he's f*cked Chelsea up

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He's so thick he can't see

That he's got no Plan B

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

Two up front?

Don't be such a c*nt

Says Scolari

One will do

If we lose

I will choose

F*ck the Blues

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

midlandblue · February 9, 2009

A lot of time and effort seems to have gone into that.

bjd · February 9, 2009

I'll keep mine simple.

'Scolari must go, Scolari must go - woh oh'

Takes me back to the Johnny Hollins days!?

BlueBeard · February 9, 2009

A lot of time and effort seems to have gone into that.

Not really, just sort of came naturally while I was in the shower. Of course, I had to sing it to see if it worked - I'm sure I impressed the neighbours no end :D

Luckydevil · February 9, 2009

I wish I was one of your neighbours I think it would made my day :D

But I think it explains the situation exactly how it is. You should think about getting into the music business :)

Chippy · February 9, 2009

Not really, just sort of came naturally while I was in the shower. Of course, I had to sing it to see if it worked - I'm sure I impressed the neighbours no end :)

Lets hope the next managers got a catchy name Steve....I'm sure next years effort will be a belter :D

I can see it already

He does like to gob

hes a bit of a Knob

(Franky Rijkaard)

when angered he'll spit

he made Barca play sh*t

(Franky Rijkaard)

Edited February 9, 2009 by Chippy

blizeH · February 9, 2009

"You don't know what you're doing!" will do for me.

Especially if he brings on Deco the next time we're desperately looking for a f**king winner

midlandblue · February 9, 2009

I quite like.

"We'll support you ever more"

sexelk · February 9, 2009

I thought we should have a song competition for our beloved manager - I'll start the ball rolling with this touching little ditty.
This song came to me while in the shower this morning, either I'm seriously worried about the situation at Chelsea or I'm bored sh*tless :D

To the tune of "That's Amore" (just a shame Dino isn't around to sing it): -

His fans call him Big Phil

But he makes me feel ill

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

Chelsea can't win a game

Cos the boss is insane

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He's too long in the tooth

To take chances with youth

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

While our youth attract bids

Who the f*ck are those kids?

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

Change my team?

What the f*ck d'ya mean

What the f*ck d'ya mean

What the f*ck d'ya mean

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

He won't pay transfer fees

If they don't speak Portugeuse

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He once won the World Cup

But he's f*cked Chelsea up

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He's so thick he can't see

That he's got no Plan B

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

Two up front?

Don't be such a c*nt

Don't be such a c*nt

Don't be such a c*nt

Says Scolari

One will do

If we lose

I will choose

F*ck the Blues

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

haha brightened up my monday, thanks for that

Chippy · February 9, 2009

Steve

Just to say I just read my reply and realised it made it sound like I was accusing you of some sort of fickle fairweather support type Jobbie...

not my intention and the song for next year is more aimed at the people that were over the moon when Scolari came and then turned on him once things became difficult.

You know I know you wanted Scolari out before he met the players and you haven't seen anything to make you change you're mind (can't understand that :D )

I know I didn't need to say this a you already know, I just don't want other people to think I meant it that way.

If it is Rijkaard though, you must help me finish my ditty..

BLUENUT · February 9, 2009

I thought we should have a song competition for our beloved manager - I'll start the ball rolling with this touching little ditty.
This song came to me while in the shower this morning, either I'm seriously worried about the situation at Chelsea or I'm bored sh*tless :D

To the tune of "That's Amore" (just a shame Dino isn't around to sing it): -

His fans call him Big Phil

But he makes me feel ill

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

Chelsea can't win a game

Cos the boss is insane

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He's too long in the tooth

To take chances with youth

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

While our youth attract bids

Who the f*ck are those kids?

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

Change my team?

What the f*ck d'ya mean

What the f*ck d'ya mean

What the f*ck d'ya mean

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

He won't pay transfer fees

If they don't speak Portugeuse

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He once won the World Cup

But he's f*cked Chelsea up

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

He's so thick he can't see

That he's got no Plan B

That's Scolari (That's Scolari)

Two up front?

Don't be such a c*nt

Don't be such a c*nt

Don't be such a c*nt

Says Scolari

One will do

If we lose

I will choose

F*ck the Blues

Says Scolari (Says Scolari)

I'll doff my cap to that :)

Brightened up a rather depressing Monday morning

coco · February 9, 2009

Your looking alwful and sad,

They really think your bad,

The team just make you swear and curse,

When you're chewing Joses gum,

Don't grumble,

Give a whistle

And this'll help when on a squeaky bum.

And...

Always look on the bright side of life.

[whistle]

Always look on the light side of life.

[whistle]

Your tactics are jolly rotten,

There's something you've forgotten,

And that's to put some pacy wingers on the wing.

The team are in the dumps,

Can you iron out the bumps?

Just hide your shame and sing.

That's the thing.

And...

Always look on the bright side of life.

[whistle]

Always look on the right side of life,

[whistle]

No tactics or Plan B,

The future looks iffy !

You must always face the fans with a bow.

Forget about your sin.

Give the audience a grin.

Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.

So,...

Always look on the bright side of death,

[whistle]

Just before you draw your terminal breath.

[whistle]

Your ideas are all sh*t,

When you look at it.

Life's a laugh but not since under you.

You'll see it's all a show.

Keep 'em laughing as you go.

Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And...

Always look on the bright side of life.

Always look on the right side of life.

[whistle]