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Wizard of Mou


Qaz

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Beni opened his eyes. He was in a strange and foreign land.

 

"I don't think we are in Liverpool anymore, Totti" Beni said to his pet chiuaua Totti.

 

Beni took a sandwhich from his knapsack and walked around confused, searching for someone who could help him when a short half shaven man appeared.

 

"Vu lost?" he said quizatively.

 

"yes, I don't know where I am and want to return home to Liverpool" Beni returned.

 

"Why vu you are the land of Stamford" said the man

 

"I van help you vet home. Vu must travel the yellow brick road in search of the vizard of mou. He vill help you find a way home. But virst, you must take 3 companions wiv you. These companions also vish to see the vizard.

 

Beni nodded. "I will find these companions and travel the yellow brick road to find the wizard".

 

The first of the companions Beni met was a lion. "Grettings, I am Beni, I am on a journey to find the wizard of Mou to return home to Liverpool. I understand you wish to join me on the journey"

 

The lion returned "no kidding, I myself am from Liverpool.

 

"Do you also wish to return home?" Beni quizzed

 

"No, I like Stamford. But alas, I have problem. I was once one of the most feared lions in all the land. I was quick, strong and lethal in front of goal. But then, one day I woke and it was gone. Now I am a giant pussy who is too scared to take penalties and put myself into dangerous spots to create goals. I wish to ask the wizard for courage".

 

Beni nodded pulling out a chocolate bar to eat. "Come with me, I will find the wizard and together we will get what we are after".

 

The next man Beni met along the way was a giant of man made completely of metal. He was strong but he was lethargic and slow.

 

"I've heard whispers of your arrival, I am the nikel man" said the metallic man. "You wish to seek the wizard. I do also. I was once one of the most promising players in all of the land. Everybody wanted me to play with them, some were willing to fight for me to do so. I was even once referred to as pure gold. But now.................now I am a shadow of my former potential. I am slow, lazy and lethargic. I wish to seek the wizard so that he give me a heart".

 

Beni listened to the nikel man while eating a banana. "We have one more to find, then we will go together".

 

Beni found the final companion for his journey standing out in a field. He was a man made of straw. Beni was shocked by the man's hair which entirely made of straw stuck gravity defyingly above his head like an afro. "I am Beni, I was told you wish to join me, the lion and the nikel man on a quest to find the wizard"

 

"Yes" said the scarecrow

 

"why?" asked Beni, now munching on an ice cream.

 

"I am quick, I am strong and I am skilful" said the scarecrow. "Unfortunately, I also do stupid things. I lose the ball in bad areas, give away cheap free kicks and penalties, and have no idea where to position myself on the park. I wish to join you on your journey so that the wizard may grant me a brain!"

 

Beni nodded, finishing off a one kilo steak. "We will all now travel the yellow brick road to the land of Madrid in search of the wizard of Mou"

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I probably should not post this, but am I the only Chelsea fan who hates the moniker "Mou"? 

 

To me, it is almost as worse as "Chelski", not in that demeaning sense of course, but because it sounds so stupid.

 

If I am the only one, then I guess I will have to get used to that moniker (kind of feels like someone scratching their fingernails on a blackboard whenever I hear it).

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I probably should not post this, but am I the only Chelsea fan who hates the moniker "Mou"? 

 

To me, it is almost as worse as "Chelski", not in that demeaning sense of course, but because it sounds so stupid.

 

If I am the only one, then I guess I will have to get used to that moniker (kind of feels like someone scratching their fingernails on a blackboard whenever I hear it).

 

Hadn't really thought about it but never use it - usually just say Jose or The Gorgeous One!

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