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How do you solve a problem like Joey Barton?


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What do you expect from a poxy bloody Scouser? Heard his cousin being interviewed earlier today:

It's not Joey's fault, everybody always picks on him. It happens all the time but because it's Joey it's big news.

Should have known, shouldn't we. Poor old Joey Barton is just one more misunderstood, hard done by Scouse git.

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He told BBC Sport: "As far as I've heard, Joey was defending himself. But because it is Joey it makes headlines."

Defending himself? Bollox.

McKay added: "It happens on training grounds all over the country, from Chelsea to Yeovil."

Of course. I mean how many times hasn't Terry punched Lampard in the mouth? icon_rolleyes.gif

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Guest Brian M

The guy is a tw*t. His career will follow a similar path to Jody Morris. A career remember that has such highlights as:

"Millwall sign Jody Morris", millwallfc.co.uk.

"Leeds release Morris", ABC News Online, 2004-03-07.

"Jody Morris in club brawl", BBC News, 2002-08-22.

"Jody Morris released on bail", Evening Standard, 2003-10-22.

"Jody Morris sex charge", BBC News, 2004-01-30.

I expect the thugs over at Blackb*rn to sign him first, before he eventually heads down into the lower leagues...

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And you question my taste in men 259.gif

If you look at his hind quarters, you don't have to look at his face icon_lol.gif And it's looking, no touching, and definitely no talking. Not that I speak Scouse, mind you.

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Guest Brian M
Not that I speak Scouse, mind you.

The only scouse you need to learn to get them to understand you is 'Giro'... icon_cool.gif

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A Slight Difference Of Opinion

How it happened, according to Joey Barton's agent, Willie McKay:

"He was defending himself. But because it is Joey it makes headlines. He is an easy target. It was self-defence."

How it happened, according to Ousmane Dabo:

"I just pushed him away and turned my back to walk off. That's when he hit me.

"I really don't remember exactly what happened but I've been told by all my team-mates he hit me from behind, a right hook which hit me on the temple and knocked me out for a few seconds.

"As I started to fall he jumped on top of me, held my head and punched me twice more in the face.

"Apparently when I was on the floor he again punched me before being pulled off.

"When I came round, and it can only have been a matter of seconds, there was blood everywhere."

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Guest Brian M
A Slight Difference Of Opinion

How it happened, according to Joey Barton's agent, Willie McKay:

"He was defending himself. But because it is Joey it makes headlines. He is an easy target. It was self-defence."

How it happened, according to Ousmane Dabo:

"I just pushed him away and turned my back to walk off. That's when he hit me.

"I really don't remember exactly what happened but I've been told by all my team-mates he hit me from behind, a right hook which hit me on the temple and knocked me out for a few seconds.

"As I started to fall he jumped on top of me, held my head and punched me twice more in the face.

"Apparently when I was on the floor he again punched me before being pulled off.

"When I came round, and it can only have been a matter of seconds, there was blood everywhere."

Well then, when you put it like that, it was obviously self-defence!

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A Slight Difference Of Opinion

How it happened, according to Joey Barton's agent, Willie McKay:

"He was defending himself. But because it is Joey it makes headlines. He is an easy target. It was self-defence."

How it happened, according to Ousmane Dabo:

"I just pushed him away and turned my back to walk off. That's when he hit me.

"I really don't remember exactly what happened but I've been told by all my team-mates he hit me from behind, a right hook which hit me on the temple and knocked me out for a few seconds.

"As I started to fall he jumped on top of me, held my head and punched me twice more in the face.

"Apparently when I was on the floor he again punched me before being pulled off.

"When I came round, and it can only have been a matter of seconds, there was blood everywhere."

Well then, when you put it like that, it was obviously self-defence!

Well yes of course. If you will go round headbutting people's fists then pulling them on top of you as you deliberately fall to the ground and obviously not having calmed down yet, attack their fists again, what can you expect?

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  • 1 month later...


What to do with Barton?

Put him in a midfield with Bowyer and Savage. Stick Bellamy in front of them, bring big Dunc Ferguson out of retirement to partner him and to add a touch of class, slot C. Ronaldo in on their right flank.

Behind them, try making a back four out of Eboue, Boula, Thatcher and Mills. Chuck in Bosnich as a goalie and call the whole lot Twat FC.

Then make Keano their manager and watch them all sh*t themselves.

Just a thought.

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