Jester's Dead

I'd rather be a keyboard warrior than a Joke Nazi. Oh no, I said "Nazi". Please excuse my bad taste.

So no jokes about the Mary Celeste? No nautical jokes allowed? What are the rules here?

How is disagreeing with someone spoiling for a fight?

So have you never told, or laughed at, a poor taste joke in your entire life? If you have, then you're a hypocrite. Or are you in charge of what can be joked about?

Too soon? So no jokes about any wars or natural disasters? No jokes about Jimmy Saville? The Catholic church? No jokes about anything in which there were victims? Good luck enforcing that in the UK!

Yeah he went down like the Belgrano, To be fair, Jonathan Pierce was full of praise for Torres. Joe Hart is a liability.

I can't believe Torres cost £50 million. He creates, he scores... what a bargain.

ok so if the goalkeeper is out of position then there has to be 2 defenders between the goal and the most advanced attacker? I really should know this sh*t. Wiki: A player is in an offside position if three conditions are met: first, the player must be in the opposing team's half of the field. Second, the player must be in front of the ball. And third, there must be fewer than two opposing players between him and the opposing goal line, with the goalkeeper counting as an opposing player for these purposes. It is not necessary that the goalkeeper be one of the last two opponents.

really? so what happens if the goalkeeper stands in the opposing side's goal? Does that mean the opposing team is constantly offside?

Match of the Day - the goal when the goalie "dropped" the ball lol. One of the 2 muppets with Lineker said it was also offside coz Hazard's shot hit Eto's leg on the way to goal. But you can clearly see a Cardiff player in between Eto'o and the goal. If there's an outfield player in front of you, it's not offisde right?

http://www.viplivesports.eu/football/180308/3/chelsea-vs-cardiff-city-live-stream-online.html Virgin Media is blocking firstrow - a bit rich considering what a tax-avoiding shyster you-know-who is.

This pretty much sums up every negative characterisitc of your average ManUre "supporter". Can't go a single season without winning something or their fragile little glory-seeking bubble will implode. Are you sure it wasn't written as a deliberate parody? it sounds like a Private Eye piss-take.

Moving onto safer ground - tonight's discussion on Red Cafe is whether Moyes will be sacked if when Man Utd finish 5th (to be fair, even that's ambitious). With their creaky defence and increasingly mediocre midfield, I don't see them finishing above Everton, let alone the other 4.

Sorry if this has been posted already: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2424471/Man-court-trying-sex-sheep-Tottenham-training-ground.html

Doesn't the Spanish govt let them off their taxes or give them some other subsidy? So when the EU bails out Spain, which has bankrupted itself, money goes to subsidising Real Madrid. Unsurprisingly, the EU wants this to stop. Pay the correct tax, or no more free money!

Maybe if Lukaku was on the bloody pitch he could disprove that.

Whenever anyone says that Norfolk is a backwards place, I always take it with a pinch of salt. Until I saw this discussion on the Norwich City forum: http://www.norwich.vitalfootball.co.uk/forum/forums/thread-view.asp?tid=13782&posts=6 I actually had to check it was written in 2013 and not 1993. Bless 'em.

Don't you know the Laws of the Internet? It's ok to insult someone you don't know... but it's not ok to defend them.

In that single moment, Torres was unlucky. Other than that, please bring back Lukaku.

That's another way of doing it Edit: but wouldn't that mean splitting all the players into 2 categories before any voting? So if a 20 year-old rocks up and scores 35 goals in a season, which category should he be in?

I think Bale deserved Player of the Year - he won me my fantasy league after all. Along with Mata and Michu. It would be more interesting, however, to not let a player win both categories. The best way to do that might be to vote for your top 2 in each category. If your first choice wins POTY, then your vote for them in YPOTY is discarded and your 2nd choice is counted. OR this: "I just hope they change the YPOTY to debut season in the prem (first season you have started 10 games) so players like Lukaku have a chance. And of course some age quota like by the start of the season you can be no older than 21." Quite how Ferdinand made team of the year, I will never know. Maybe Fergie does have a secret hotline to the FA. De Gea had a good season, but other goalies have been better.

Is he trying to bite the baby?

Suarez's first game back:

They really are plumbing the depths: "Of course Evra parading around the pitch with fake severed limbs days after the Boston bombing is deemed socially acceptable by the FA." And more delusion: "Stevie should resign as England captain imo".

Maybe Suarez needs to sharpen his incisors to get more penetration next time.