Upsetter

The fat one aside, it needs to be remembered just how many games our players have played, more than any other team in Europe, in fact. No I’m not making excuses, but with the sheer amount of minutes put in - not even counting inter-f**king-nationals - it’s no wonder that the team sometimes looks a little weary. It’s been a long hard slog, and with the obscenity of the Qatar World Cup to come, I can’t see the situation improving anytime soon. Scrapping or boycotting the World Cup along with the myriad other pointless internationals would be a great help, but sad to say, that just ain’t gonna happen.

Romelu Lukaku: Beyond Football With each passing match, it’s becoming more and more apparent that the above, once viewed as merely another not so little earner, was in fact an audition for his career post-football. Ah yes, there are endless opportunities for a lazy fat bastard in the world of food advertising.

I’m not sure if this is a record but… Forty six matches since they last had a penalty awarded against them. Forty six matches. Fourteen months ago… and that was when there were no fans in the stadium. Unbelievable? Isn’t it f**king just.

Based on what we’ve seen of him recently, he’d have been outjumped by my wheelchair-bound great aunt fanny.

There were a couple of very well known Tottenham fans who used to go away with us regularly, and from time to time a non-Chelsea mate, including QPR and West Ham fans, would ask to go in the Shed with me when we were playing the team they supported, and one time I took a friend of a friend from Coventry into the Shed. So I’m guessing this kind of thing was quite common. Believe me though, that Goodison trip was the only time I ever went away with another team, and I wouldn’t have dreamt of gong to Upton Park, White Hart Lane, or anyone else with a non-Chelsea mate.

Probably no consolation, but I wasn’t there either. I was… at Everton with Arsenal. I shall explain. Well skint at the time, I was down the pub talking to a few Arsenal mates during the week. “Come to Everton with us”, they said, “we’re going up by car, it’ll be a right craic.” And to my eternal shame, I replied “ok, why not”. So come Saturday there I was, on my way to Goodison with a car load of Arsenal. The journey up was uneventful, and we got to the ground shortly before kickoff. Got into the away end, among the Arsenal support, a couple of times I was asked what I was doing there, so replied that I was there with my mates, and when they saw who I was with, that was fine. Not exactly unknown, some Arsenal fan I didn’t recognise came up to me and asked if I smoked rollups, which I did at the time, and gave me an ounce of Old Holborn. Don’t ask me! After the match we managed to lose the driver, so we bunked back on the Arsenal special. On the way to Lime Street there was the usual thing of scousers - Liverpool as well, because they were also playing at home that day - on the other side of the road, running along behind the old bill, giving it the big ‘un. On the special, as on the terraces, they knew who I was, but nobody bothered me. There were a couple of snide remarks about Chelsea, but that was just a few Arsenal fans talking among themselves. And that was it. Only time I ever went away with any other team. Funniest thing, a couple of weeks later I was up Euston with a couple of Chelsea mates. Going up the stairs, we ran smack into a mob of Arsenal, most of whom I didn’t know, but who I later learnt were little Donald’s mates - snakey little sod who later ran with Cockney Reds. Anyway, there was me wearing a Leeds hat that I’d nicked, which got me a few looks! Fortunately a couple of them recognised me, one of them even saying that I was with them the other day. And so we went our separate ways, parting amicably,

Leeds fans, so I’m told.

Another one from my first time at the Bridge! Sat in the benches that day, with my uncle. Next home game, against Coventry, I was in the Shed, and was needless to say, immediately hooked!

Seriously? Kai Havertz is 22 years old, and is already showing signs of potential greatness. Not having a go at you, but if there’s one thing that annoys the life out of me, it’s the way people are so ready to turn on, and even write off young players. We’ve seen it with Chalobah, also 22, and we’re seeing it with Mason Mount, who has not long turned 23. All three players have massive potential. Contrast the three above with Lukaku, who is not only massively overweight, has the turning circle of a Sherman Tank (no pun, think about it!) who turns 29 next month, who is inarguably a waste of money, waste of time, and a waste of space. I can only hope and pray that he’ll be long gone by the start of next season.

I wrote earlier in this thread that I had the vaguest of soft spot for Brentford. Not any more I ain’t. And not because of the result, but because before the game I happened to glance at a Brentford forum, where I discovered to my shock that these f**kers hate us as much as anyone, nothing to do with the sanctions either, but because it’s fashionable. We’ve never had any kind of rivalry with Brentford, which goes to show that they’re a pathetic bunch of bandwagon jumping f**kwits. f**k ‘em.

If Real had scored one more, we could have sung “are you Brentford in disguise?”

Love this shirt. Mon the Spiders!

Stamford Bridge remembers and honours Peter Bonetti A memorial service was held on Friday with our legendary goalkeeper’s ashes interred… It was to the accompaniment of the song ‘Bring Him Home’ from the musical Les Miserables that Peter Bonetti’s ashes, led by a guard of honour of Chelsea Pensioners and carried by his son Scott, were brought out onto the edge of the Stamford Bridge pitch. It was just one poignant moment in many at the memorial service for our great goalkeeper held on Friday afternoon. For Peter is now in his final resting place, a place he truly regarded as his home. Over a thousand fans plus family, friends, former team-mates, representatives of Chelsea Football Club and others from the world of football joined him there too, attending a service bathed in spring sunlight having been delayed since Peter’s passing in April 2020 due to the pandemic. When Peter used to come here in the latter years, whatever his memory was, he always knew this was home,’ explained Kay Bonetti, Peter’s widow. ‘As he approached, he grew wings, it was his home, and I actually felt him fly when Nessun Dorma was played today. ‘It was after he came to Peter Osgood’s memorial here that he said this is what I want for me. It was his home then and it is his home now.’ Nessun Dorma and Les Miserables, sung by opera singer and Chelsea supporter Stuart Pendred, were joined as part of the service by Abide with Me, the FA Cup final hymn, so appropriate for remembering a player who was simply heroic when Chelsea won that trophy for the first time. John Dempsey was the centre-half in that side and was at Stamford Bridge today. ‘My favourite save Peter made was in that cup final, from Peter Lorimer,’ he said. ‘I was thinking it is going in and I could not believe he saved it, so even though I was on the pitch I started clapping, because I was so pleased he saved it but also because it was such a good save. ‘It was a very sad time losing Peter a couple of years ago but everything about this service was top class. To play over 700 games for a club is amazing, and I was lucky enough to play with him and what a top goalkeeper he was! He played the same time as Gordon Banks but because we played with him, we classed him as number one. ‘I could always hear him giving instructions behind me and although he was not that tall for a goalkeeper, when the ball came in he was often up there above me, taking it and not dropping it. You always knew with him behind you, you were safe. ‘You could not find a nicer person as well, a real gentleman and a lovely human being. The fact that Charlie Cooke has come all the way from America to be here shows what respect he had for Peter.’ Cooke was another colleague from those 1970s trophy-winning years. ‘I came because I wanted to commemorate Peter and one of the things I especially wanted to commemorate was his professionalism,’ he explained. ‘In the dressing room he was not a big shouter but if you went out on the training field, he worked his butt off and I can remember cross-countries with him, he would always be trying to win them. ‘I admired that, plus his courage when going to ground. He was famous for his cat-like acrobatics but when he had to go down at people’s feet he was fantastic. ‘I found it very moving today when the fans here started singing Peter’s name, a reminder of how people reacted to him here when he was playing. I thought the number present was fantastic, given the circumstances, and you could feel the enthusiasm of the fans who remember him clearly.’ Those fans in the Shed End stand watched Reverend Martin Swan, another Blues fans, conduct the service and declare that the foundation of the club is built upon the talent of players like Peter Bonetti. He stepped back for tributes to be paid. Actor Clive Mantle, representing the generation of Chelsea fans who grew up with ‘The Cat’ as their hero, recalled the flash of green flying behind the blue of the rest of the team to make incredible saves. Pat Nevin, who was a player when Peter returned to the club as our first dedicated goalkeeper coach in the 1980s, remembered when he as a seven-year-old Celtic fan in faraway Glasgow was inspired to buy a pair of the iconic green Bonetti goalkeeping gloves. Many others in today’s crowd freely admitted to doing so too. The brass band present played Blue is the Colour, and Peter’s ashes were interred behind the goal at the Shed End of Stamford Bridge, The Cat’s true home.

I read earlier, could have been on the BBC, that they’re still accepting “amended” bids. No idea what the deadline on that is though

Remember the reports of an enormous “mystery bidder”? According to the BBC, global investment firm Centricus, which “includes several Chelsea season ticket holders” are funding a bid to buy the club. With assets of £29billion, Centricus states that it “wants to maintain and support existing management”. And there’s more: Centricus co-founder Nizar Al-Bassam and chief executive Garth Ritchie are heading the bid, which also includes hedge fund manager Jonathan Lourie of Cheyne Capital and Bob Finch of Talis Capital. In a statement, the group said it "will be committed to supporting [Chelsea] and its key stakeholders to ensure its continued success". It added: "Our financing for the deal includes funding for the completion of the transaction and funding for working capital required for the day-to-day operations of the CFC Group, funds required to maintain an elite global brand, investment in grassroots and in-community football initiatives such as the Chelsea Academy, the Women's Team, the Youth Development Program and the Chelsea Foundation and strategic real estate investment. "The intention is to maintain and support existing management on both the business and sporting operations of the CFC Group. We intend to maintain the existing strategy direction. "Clearly, the CFC Group has been operating in challenging conditions and we appreciate the importance for the CFC Group, the fans and other key stakeholders of ensuring a smooth and stable ownership transition. During this transition period and thereafter, we will ensure that we have frequent and open dialogue with all key stakeholders which underpins our long-term commitment to the CFC Group and its continued future success. "If our offer is successful, Centricus would be focused on ensuring that the CFC Group continues to achieve sporting excellence, high level of community support, transparent governance, financial sustainability, fan engagement and exemplary custodianship." Sounds very interesting to me.

From Matt Slater in The Athletic: Explained: The bids for Chelsea and who to take seriously Sports dreamers had a lot to remember on Friday. Get their bets in for horse racings Cheltenham Gold Cup by 3.30pm, sort out their Fantasy Premier League team by 6.30pm, send their bids for Chelsea by 9pm. The first and last items on that list have lots in common: big field, lots of hurdles, massive prize. You have got to love the sports calendar it never lets you down when you need a metaphor. So who is in the race to replace Roman Abramovich? Who should Chelsea fans be rooting for? Where should casual observers be putting their each/way punts? These are not easy questions to answer, as this is a contest that seems to have more in common with the gloriously unpredictable race of attrition that is the Grand National Britains other big steeplechase than the more refined, connoisseurs affair that is the Gold Cup. But there is no fun in sitting on the fence no racing pun intended so let us crack on with our rundown of the runners and riders in the Trivago (they still sponsor Chelsea, right?) Stamford Bridge Stakes. Early fallers and rank outsiders We will start with names you should ignore or, if you get them in a sweepstake, rip up. Turkish businessman Muhsin Bayrak was one of the first to link himself with a bid for Chelsea, telling local media "the world believes we have a 90 per cent chance of completing the deal Abramovich thinks the same". This led some to wonder if Bayrak was simply going to keep the Premier League club warm for Abramovich while the sanctioned Russian waited for the war in Ukraine to finish and resumption of normal service in Londongrad. That, however, was pure speculation. Unfortunately, so is Bayraks bid. There is simply no way an unknown entity from Istanbul, with investments in crypto, is going to get this done. Another to avoid is Aethel Partners, who optimistically threw their hat into the ring on Thursday. The London-based investment firm is fronted by Portuguese entrepreneur Ricardo Silva and their main investment appears to be a loss-making iron ore mine in Portugal. In other words, a large hole in the ground there might be another metaphor in that. Speaking of holes in the ground, Ghanaian businessman and politician Bernard Antwi Boasiako is another Chelsea suitor whose wealth is built on mining. Boasiako claims to earn $1 million a day from his gold mining company Hansol and he has written to Chelsea to say he is willing to offer $3.1 billion (just under £2.4 billion) for the club. Boasiako is a well-connected and high-profile figure in Ghana but he is nowhere near rich enough to buy the European and World champions on his own. Could he front an African-based consortium? Maybe. Would that be good for the Premier League and Chelseas huge following in Africa? Yes. Will it happen? No, not Chelsea and certainly not under these circumstances. This sales process is unlike any other that British football has seen. On the one hand, it is a straightforward auction, run by a merchant bank, on behalf of a wealthy man. Nothing unusual about that. But on the other hand, it is also the forced sale of a frozen asset that must take place by the end of May or Chelsea will start to dramatically lose value and perhaps even go bankrupt. It is further complicated by the fact Abramovich is sanctioned in Canada, the European Union and the UK, and can therefore receive none of the proceeds from the sale, just in case they end up in Russian president Vladimir Putins hands and are used to fund his war against Ukraine. Abramovich, of course, denies there is any such link between him and Putin. This means there are effectively two sellers the Raine Group, the New York-based bank running the process for Abramovich, and the British government and both want a combination of price, speed and certainty. No fuss, just cold, hard cash and a track record of competence. That criteria probably rules out two bids fronted by well-known Chelsea fans, too. The first of those is the True Blue consortium, which is fronted by John "captain, leader, legend" Terry and is trying to raise £250 million so it can buy a 10 per cent stake in the club. The plan is to do this by getting supporters, players and staff to buy crypto-based fans tokens. This is pretty much the same idea that Terry has been plugging to fund his retirement and it has not gone well. The second is Nick Candysgroup? Supergroup? Funding proposal? We are not quite sure. But, to mix our metaphors, the British property developer did manage to find a backer deep in injury time on Friday when he teamed up with South Koreas Catalina Kim and Hana Financial Group. The 38-year-old Kim wrote a book about her experience as the only Asian woman working as a football agent in European last year and her LinkedIn page suggests it was a hit back home. Buying Chelsea would certainly provide a lot of new material for a second volume. Kim announced her involvement in a bid just as Rachel Blackmore was becoming the first female jockey to win the Gold Cup. Blackmore, however, has already won loads of other races, including the Grand National, and was sat on the favourite, A Plus Tard. Candy, Kim and Hana sound like a nice combination but they look like the longest of shots for this contest. Candy (left) with Scooter Braun in 2018 (Photo: Allen Berezovsky/Getty Images) Value bets OK, these are the scraps of paper from the sweepstake that you want want to hold onto and we are going to run through them in reverse order of probability, but with the caveats that all these guys have a chance, betting is mugs game and what do we know really? Woody Johnson, the great grandson of the founder of the Johnson & Johnson pharmaceutical empire, is understood to have been looking for a Premier League club for a while. He bought the NFLs New York Jets in 2000, paying $635 million for the privilege. That was the third highest fee ever paid for a sports franchise at the time and equates to about $1 billion (£760 million) today, if we adjust for inflation. That is not going to be enough to bag Chelsea, though. The amount of interest in this trophy asset is likely to send the price over $3 billion (£2.27 billion), which is a remarkable number for a club that lost more than £145 million last season. In fact, Abramovich has poured more than £1.5 billion of his fortune into Chelsea since 2003 and he says he does not want it back. That will certainly help sell the club but it does also indicate the level of subsidy Chelsea require if they are going to continue winning trophies. US business magazine Forbes estimates Johnsons personal wealth to be £4.5 billion but he is old money compared to Abramovich, so he is not going to throw it around, and his track record at the Jets suggests this is not a man consumed by a passion for winning. He also turns 75 next month. He is in good shape but is he young enough to embark on a project that almost certainly involves building a new stadium. He did that for the Jets but it took him 10 years. Some sources have suggested he has an inside track because of his stint as Americas ambassador to the UK under Donald Trump. Others believe that could be an obstacle. Woody Johnson bought the New York Jets in 2000 (Photo: Getty) Oaktree Capital is another stellar name in American business circles that is understood to have kicked Chelseas tyres. Co-founded by Howard Marks, one of the most respected investors on the planet, and listed on the New York Stock Exchange, Oaktree has a huge amount of money at its disposal and has already dipped its toe into footballs waters by lending Inter Milan cash. Some (yes, we are citing them again) think Oaktree is exactly the type of bidder Raine and the government are praying for; others see Marks tweet his investment philosophy "Its not what you buy, its what you pay" and think there is no way he is going to be dragged into a sealed-bids auction for a loss-making club that needs to build a billion-pound-plus stadium. Oaktrees involvement in Serie A is probably a complication too far, as well. Inter fans may want to look away now but the football finance rumour mill thinks Oaktree could end up owning the Italian champions when the club defaults on its repayments. UEFA does not let two clubs controlled by the same entity play in its competitions. Other potential Chelsea owners with conflicts of interest issues are David Blitzer and Josh Harris. Sorry, we should probably have warned Crystal Palace fans that was coming, as they have been co-owners at Chelseas London rivals since 2015. Buying Chelsea would clearly mean selling their Palace shares, although they have already sold a chunk of them last year, when fellow American John Textor joined the ownership group at Selhurst Park. Blitzer and Harris made their fortunes working for huge American private equity firms. Blitzer is still a senior executive with Blackstone Group, while Harris has now left Apollo Asset Management but he was one of its co-founders. The pair first teamed up to buy basketballs Philadelphia 76ers in 2011, then added ice hockeys New Jersey Devils in 2013, before repeating the trick at Palace two years later. At 57, Harris is five years older than Blitzer, and he is probably twice as rich, too, with a personal fortune of more than £5 billion. But Blitzer owns more sports teams, as he now has also stakes in football teams in Belgium, Germany, Netherlands, Portugal and the US. Blitzer believes there is value in football. Harris, on the other hand, has given the impression he is not so sure about that. In fact, several sources have told The Athletic that if Harris is going to buy another football team, it would be of the American football variety, with the Denver Broncos up for sale at a similar price to Chelsea. But it seems he has not quite given up on the Premier League just yet, as he and Blitzer have teamed up with Sir Martin Broughton to form an Anglo-American consortium. Broughton, who also turns 75 next month, is British business aristocracy. A former chairman of British American Tobacco, British Airways and the British Horseracing Board, he has also been the president of the Confederation of British Industry. A lifelong Chelsea fan, he was actually brought in by Liverpools creditors to sell the club in 2010, when the Premier League side was on the verge of bankruptcy. That was at the tail end of the Tom Hicks and George Gillett era at Anfield, a calamitous period in the clubs history, but Broughton helped ease them out and bring Fenway Sports Group (FSG) in. So Broughton provides contacts, credibility and experience. And if that is not enough, he has teamed up with fellow Chelsea fan and British sporting aristocrat Lord Coe. The two-time Olympic gold medalist was also a Conservative MP, which could be helpful, and also worked closely with Prime Minister Boris Johnson when Johnson was Mayor of London. The former athlete also chaired the organising committee of the London Olympics. Coe is a two-time Olympic gold medallist (Photo: Sam Barnes/Sportsfile via Getty Images) This group definitely has a chance, then, but they might not be able to move as quickly and decisively as others. The favourites That leaves us with two heavily-fancied groups who will also have sent Raine Group a bid, proof of funds and a business plan by Fridays deadline. In a statement released on Wednesday, the Ricketts family, owners of the Chicago Cubs, confirmed what many agents and bankers had been whispering about for weeks: they want Chelsea. "As long-time operators of an iconic professional sports team, the Ricketts family and their partners understand the importance of investing for success on the pitch, while respecting the traditions of the club, the fans and the community," the statement adds. The family owe their wealth to the brokerage business Joe Ricketts founded in 1971, Ameritrade. It was bought and renamed TD Ameritrade in 2006, and was bought again in 2020 by Charles Schwab Corporation. It has grown into a substantial business. Joe Ricketts, now 80, has subsequently invested in bison meat, the film business and, most famously, baseball. Unfortunately, he is probably best known right now for some very unpleasant remarks he made in a series of emails that came to light in 2012. In those emails, he referred to Muslims as "his enemy" because of their "deep antagonism and bias against non-Muslims", described Islam as "a cult and not a religion" and shared offensive conspiracy theories about former US President Barack Obama. Joe Ricketts and his four children, who own the Cubs via a family trust, have been apologising for those remarks ever since and have worked hard to rebuild links with Chicagos Muslim community. It would probably be fair to say that the court of public opinion in the US has cleared the children of their fathers sins, with the only debate about their ownership of the Cubs being about whether they invest enough in the team or not. News of their interest in Chelsea, however, has reignited the controversy surrounding Joe Ricketts views, not least because Chelsea have several Muslim players and lots of Muslim fans. Overcoming this might be the biggest challenge Tom Ricketts, the 58-year-old chairman of the Cubs, faces if he is going to finally land a football team. He has wanted to add one to the family portfolio for years and is known to have looked at Chelsea in the past, as well as AC Milan and Tottenham. The fact the Ricketts have weighed up a move for Chelsea before, and done some due diligence, is an advantage in a process where time is of the essence. Tom Ricketts, chairman and owner of the Chicago Cubs (Photo: Getty) On their likely approach to running the club, Tom Ricketts is understood to be a fan of what the FSG syndicate has done at the Boston Red Sox and Liverpool: investing in infrastructure to grow revenues, while keeping a lid on spending and using data to make better decisions. Under their ownership, the Cubs bought swathes of land around the teams Wrigley Field stadium and turned the area into an entertainment village. Can you see what they have in mind for Fulham Broadway? Of course, that will cost them but that is where the financial muscle of their associate Ken Griffin comes in. He runs the Chicago-based hedge fund Citadel and it has made him one of Americas richest men, with a fortune of more than £20 billion. Griffin is a guy who is used to getting what he wants. He owns property all over the world, including a £100 million house near Buckingham Palace, and last year paid nearly £33 million for a copy of the US Constitution, outbidding a group of crypto enthusiasts in an auction at Sothebys. Like Oaktrees Marks, Griffin has a reputation as a "value investor", so he is not going to be bullied or cajoled into overpaying for Chelsea, but he is also known to be ambitious, bold and driven. If he thinks there is value in owning the five-time Premier League champions, he is not going to flinch at having to dig a bit deeper. One US source sees him as the difference-maker. "With Griffin, the Chicago group have the most liquidity of any buyerthey will be able to go over £3 billion if they need to," he explains. One question every Chelsea fan will have for this group, though, is do they want to win? The Ricketts will say yes, of course, and point to the Cubs 2016 World Series title and the teams relatively high payroll. But 2016 sticks out, as there have only been four other trips to the play-offs, which leads us to the last of the known entities, Team Boehly, Todd Boehly has packed a lot into his 48 years. Having studied finance in the US and UK, he started his investment career at Citibank and Credit Suisse First Boston, before moving to venture capital firm JH Whitney & Co. From there, he moved to Guggenheim Partners, the firm first set up to invest the Guggenheim mining dynastys wealth, where Boehlys reputation for spotting trends and backing winners grew. He saw that energy giant Enron was about to go bust in 2001 and managed to safely navigate his clients through the financial crash of 2009. In 2012, he and his boss at Guggenheim, Mark Walter, led a group that bought the Los Angeles Dodgers. At $2.15 billion, it was the biggest cheque anyone had ever written for a sports team and it followed a highly competitive, three-way auction after Major League Baseball had effectively repossessed the team from previous owner Frank McCourt. The lesson here? Boehly has done this before. Boehly has a reputation for spotting trends and backing winners (Photo: Getty) The Guggenheim Baseball Management group included former Los Angeles Lakers great Earvin "Magic" Johnson, tennis legend Billie Jean King and leading names from the worlds of baseball, entertainment and finance. Once in charge, they began developing land around the stadium and improving the ballpark, as well as starting their own regional sports network. They also started winning. In fact, they won their division every year from 2013 to 2020, won the National League in 2017, 2018 and 2020, going on to win the World Series in that year. Last season, was not quite so successful but they maintained their streak of reaching the play-offs. In an interview with Yahoo Finance last year, Boehly said: "Weve got a really good group of owners who understood that we have a great market and that this market wants to win. "And having Earvin Johnson as our partner, he just pounded in on us all along that we have to win. If were in LA you have to win, right?" London is a bit like that, too. Boehly left Guggenheim in 2015 and set up Eldridge Industries, a private holding company that owns stakes in 80 different businesses, including a London-based real estate company, fantasy sports firm DraftKings and stakes in the Lakers and womens basketball team the LA Sparks. Primarily, Boehly sees sports teams as media rights businesses and he thinks it is only a matter of time before big-time professional sport moves to a direct relationship with fans at home, not via a third-party media company. And that relationship will be richer, in every sense. Speaking to the Capital Allocators podcast in November, Boehly outlined an experience where viewers at home can either "loyalty gamble" on the next piece of action, earning discounts for their next visit to the stadium or online shop, or actually gamble, using the latest data to inform those bets. You will not be surprised to learn that among Eldridges investments are companies that can do all this pretty much now. "Last year we made over a billion dollars," he told the podcast host Ted Seides. "Every year now were making so much money that weve got to keep reinvesting. Weve got the ability to pivot into areas where we think theres more growth." Just as he did with the Dodgers, Boehly is not bidding for Chelsea on his own. Swiss-born, California-based billionaire Hansjorg Wyss is providing some of the money, and it was the 86-year-old who first revealed Team Boehlys interest in an interview with Swiss paper Blick more than two weeks ago. British lawyer Jonathan Goldstein, a long-time business partner of Boehlys, is also on board, as is American investment firm Clearlake. And like Harris and Blitzer, Boehly has started to build a fan(and government)-friendly board, with Times columnist and Conservative peer Danny Finkelstein and music industry veteran Barbara Charone lined up to be non-executive directors. They are both authentic fans and savvy conduits to people new owners of Chelsea might need to know. Like Ricketts, a redeveloped stadium is at the centre of their plan. And again, Boehly and co have an advantage as they also tried to buy Chelsea before and did extensive research on the options at Stamford Bridge. Redeveloping Stamford Bridge is central to Boehlys vision for Chelsea (Photo: Getty) It is understood they favour a slightly cheaper solution than Abramovichs grand plan, which involved digging down into the site to create more room. The problem with that is once you start digging in London you never know what you are going to find: Roman temples, plague pits, London Underground lines. The Abramovich vision would probably cost close to £2 billion now, whereas a more modest upgrade could be done for £1 billion. Apart from that, it is standard American fare: data, sensible investment, a desire to win but not to blow the budget. There has been some comment about the fact that Goldstein is a Spurs fan in fact, Goldstein has tried to get Tottenhams owners into serious talks with Boehly for years but as Finkelstein wrote on Thursday: "At Chelsea, we sing songs for talented people who see the light and come to the Bridge." Are we missing anyone? Well, you do not need to spend long on social media to see who most Chelsea fans the ones on Twitter, anyway are cheering for: the Saudi Arabia flags in their profiles rather gives it away. If this was a vote, rather than an expedited auction, with added government scrutiny, the Saudi Media Group (SMG) would have won this last week, when the first reports of a £2.7 billion bid emerged. The rationale, apparently, is that Saudi owners do not care about returns on investment, they just want to sign Kylian Mbappe and Erling Haaland. According to reports, the bid will be led by SMGs chief executive Mohamed Alkhereiji, who studied in London and then spent three years working in the capital with Deutsche Bank. But his media business has an annual turnover of about £770 million, which is not that much bigger than Chelseas, so he could not be acting alone. It has been suggested to The Athletic that the Saudi government has encouraged SMG to bid because it would help demonstrate that there are plenty of wealthy Saudis in the kingdom who are not linked to the state, which is what they have been trying to tell us about the sovereign wealth funds investment in Newcastle United. There is a problem with that idea, though. It took the Saudis a year to prove to the Premier League that Crown Prince Mohammed Bin Salman would not be picking the team at St James Park. Chelsea have a couple of months, at best, to get this done and dusted. And if SMG really was being nudged into doing this, well, that is only going to make separation even harder to prove this time. In fact, it is not even certain that SMG has made a bid. Contrary to reports, it had not made one prior to Friday and attempts to find wealthy backers in Saudi were proving difficult. Are there other mega-bids out there? Sure, former Chelsea player Tal Ben Haim is reported to have found a Gulf-based billionaire willing to put up £2 billion for a shot at the prize. And The Athletic has heard a rumour about a potential bid from a man with access to one of the greatest personal fortunes on the planet, and no, we are not talking about Vladimir Putin. But perhaps we should. Because while this piece has tried not to be overly serious, this is a serious process, caused by a horrendous event in Ukraine. The next week is going to feel a bit like transfer deadline day at times, as Raine tries to pick a winner that best meets the criteria of this most unusual auction. The dozen or so bids made on Friday, will soon be whittled down to three or four. Big promises will be bandied about but Chelsea fans will most likely have to get their heads around the fact that their club is going to be run in a very different way to the last 19 years. That does not mean you will never win a trophy again but even if it did, it is not as bad as an invasion. And if all goes to plan, your club can carry on, almost as before, under new, ambitious and rich owners, who urgently want to build you a new stadium.

Integrity? Quick quiz, of the following six clubs, which have had points deducted for “irregularities”, financial and otherwise? Chelsea Derby County Luton Town Middlesbrough Portsmouth Reading Answer: all of them except Chelsea f**k ‘em all.

This morning, on ITV.

Sheva, showing once again, why he’s a legend both on and off the pitch

I’m at a loss to understand why either team would want the lazy fat lump, but I would love so much for this to be true: No wait - forget about, Atletico and Barcelona, I would love for any two teams to rival each other for the signature of the aforementioned fat lump.