Bridging The Gap

Eric Dier is such a bullsh*t football player, I wouldn't even have him warm the bench of my Subbuteo team.

Yeah, It's an electrolytic capacitor pinging 80 Microfarads. It's going to be lit when I flick the switch! Anyways, We're going to need an early goal second half just to keep a cushion between us and that lot, we're doing well but we need to cut them more. No idea why Giroud isn't on, don't know if he's injured but I'd have him in early doors if possible we need a bit of big silky magic.

I've got the game on one screen, time travel theory on another and I'm trying to solder a capacitor. Think I'm going to need a coffee at half time.

So so thus far, I really hope we nip this mob tonight.

You just knew Liverpool were looking to arse this the moment they went with Shaqiri up front.

Hagi was the difference tonight, the wee man keeps on keeping on. Yet another clean sheet and maximum points.

Hope the big fella bounces back.

Rangers are bossing the game tonight with good tempo and build up but Roofe is set to get into the game proper and bang one in. I really don't think Aribo should be in the middle of the park. I can see Rangers stepping it up another gear and getting a goal or two.

See Burnley came into tonight's game with the Shorts down by their ankles philosophy.

Oh hai there!

I've already made something of an introduction post elsewhere but I thought I may as well post one here. It's coming up for 11 and I'm about to settle down with my final mug of Douwe Egberts for the evening. It's been a pleasure perusing through the forum since joining, you lot seem like a good group of c**ts and I'm happy to have found this place. I've been put on furlough for the fourth time since this 21st century plague started in March and I'm quickly running out of things to occupy my mind, hence the decision to get back into the forum game. The first week of 2020 lockdown seen me lose my mind before finding an old 1930's Walnut radio in the attic and began to refurb/modernise with a touch screen, new speakers and charging docks etc. Next thing I know I've a 3 foot beard and everyone is wishing me Merry Christmas. ? After the radio was built and I banged out all the tunes I couldn't be arsed with all the drama on the news so I bought an old 2001 Puma and began upgrading it, purely because I was bored. Now enduring my 4th furlough I've decided to put my feet up and just chill out because other than finishing repairing odds n sods around the house I've exhausted my options. So, now am here with you folks. It's a nice set up by the way, nice clean crisp forum you got going here. Tidy. Anyways I'll let you lot get to your bed, I've things to be getting on with.

Redmond getting the sh*t end of the stick coming on at 70 minutes played and 5-0 down, now 6-0.

Dunno what it is with modern keepers determined to make every save look like a contender for the panini sticker album.

It would take a year just to settle on the first choice goalie.

I can't see us falling any lower than 5th this season. So long as the team sticks together and fights for each other we can grind out the required points for a solid finish.

A.C. Cesena, I lost my virginity there has a kid so for some reason I've always looked out for their results... Cool crest as well.

One thing I love about English football fans is that they get it. Sometimes they don't need to have it explained to them, they see the red white and blue and take it on board first time. Throughout the years since 2012 I've never seen the Rangers fans make a complete show of themselves, there has been a dignified silence from them over the years and its all built up towards this moment. The difference between the new generation of fans of the Old Firm is that one set has been on a journey through multiple league winning titles the club has never won before because it's always been top tier, putting the shoulder to the wheel in far flung places. While the other set of fans have had it far too easy for far too long and have been wrapped up in cotton wool being bedazzled by disco lights for ten years. This is the first time they will have ever known a challenge and they are apoplectic and entitled. When Captain James Tavernier lifts that trophy, the well wishes and praise will flood in from all around the world, fellow players and celebs alike, there was a hint of it when Rangers returned to the SPL. very unlikely footballers who you'd never think had a soft spot for Rangers were delighted to see them back. Same thing will happen but bigger this time. It'll never happen but if Gerrard could just lean over and ask the England manager to give his wingback a cap for his country it would round off a sensational story. Tavernier deserve to represent his country he'd wear the three lions with pride. Even if its an away tie to Tunisia or whoever, just make it happen! My dad used to tell me all about Tam Forsyth and Cooper. He's met John Grieg a few times and always comes away impressed with him as a man. Always had time for people a great ambassador for the club. Always remember when my mother was in the Southern general I took my dad a walk down to Ibrox and he was telling me all about nautical college and how he never missed a game when he was a student there before getting onto the ships and going out to sea. We arrived at Ibrox just for a nosey to pass time before headed home and we were allowed in to see the trophy room for 15 minutes. It's a club that looks after it's people.

The attempted murder of Rangers in 2012 was nothing short of scandalous. My old man was heart broken when Rangers were dropped into the bottom tier of the Scottish game. To cheer him up I bought him some season tickets and I went with him to all the lower league away games. It was a father son bonding exercise as we haven't always seen eye to eye. He wasn't much impressed, endlessly telling me that so n so were '' Never Rangers players ''. He hated the savage treatment of his team on the park, being kicked up and down for 90 minutes by suspected failed youth players from the east end. But the Rangers men never reacted. They probably knew that if they were to go two footed on a lower league player they'd have a hard time completing a 12 hour shift in a cast the next Monday, so, they must have took pity on the hammer throwers. It was an unbelievable level of restraint from what were clearly bigger and better footballers. Apart from Kevin Kyle, who got sent off inside 5 minutes if I remember correctly, when some lower league try hard gave it the biggun to Kyle and so Kyle replied with an elbow. That was the end of that particular discussion and that particular game for Kyle, but it had been coming. My old man died a couple of years back, having witnessed opposition fans invade and assault his team's players with impunity. hanging effigies by the neck from the rafters of their own ground. Watching Celtic players tie Celtic scarves to the goal posts at Ibrox. Sustained and rabid social media campaigns against his club and her supporters from all and sundry. He witnessed a Club being pounced on at the first sign of weakness. As soon as that establishment club displayed symptoms of a poison in it's system, The governing body unsheathed its knife. Trying to strip titles and all sorts from what was a very proud Lion. An absolute credit to Scottish and British football, even world football it is an establishment club. As soon as said lion couldn't defend itself, the hordes of gnashing teeth...or lack thereof set about it, kicking the sh*t out of it, dragged it off it's throne, cut its main and threw it down a shaft, falling silent just for a moment to hear the sickening thump of its body hitting the bottom of Division 3. Content with their savagery and pleased with their deeds the hordes then went on to drink kestral lager from their plastic trophies in the Kings throne room. Singing their well known songs with glee! The Lion, lay motionless right up until kick off, being unable to register players 24 hours before the first game of the season. Curious thing though, if the Lion was supposedly dead or had died as the hordes like to exclaim over and over again, why the shackles? Andy Little and Lee McCulloch stepped up to get the job done that day in a 2-1 victory over Brechin city. It was the first battle in a long series of battles to get back to the throne, in a time when the hyenas of Scottish football were getting fat and comfortable. Rangers, began their first steps in what was to become a journey of betrayal and victory fitting of any herculean epic. So I didn't think my dad would ever see his team return to their throne. But a curious miracle of science happened, or maybe something else. Wonder of wonders, despite being dead for over 50 minutes, he returned. In the time of his coma, Rangers had appointed Gerrard as manager. I could see the confusion in his face trying to recall one of the best midfielders of his generation and then connecting him to the position of Rangers manager. As time went by and he recovered steadily just as Rangers did, he leaned over and said, '' There's something familiar about this Rangers team under Gerrard ''. I think I know what he meant. There is a scent, a musky old oak and varnish with a touch of whisky and cigars, a composure, a professionalism a fearlessness in the face of seemingly unsurmountable odds. It's like a recall to the days of Struth....Sorry, Mr Struth. A throw back to Souness and Smith. A Gallant swagger in the step, a cool calm head on rock steady shoulders. A cold steely knowing behind preying eyes fixed firmly on the prize. The existence of this Lion has been denied by the Hyenas and their equally horrid little minions for the best part of a decade now, a decade of showering themselves with self aggrandisement and self servitude. A decade of irrationally and feverishly screaming unintelligible prattle at an unmarked grave. But on the 29th of December 2018, there was the first of many shuddering thumps to resound throughout the throne room. Half the Hyenas nervously shrugged it off as everyone else's over heated imagination while still swigging from plastic cups and eating the chocolate from gold foiled imitation medals. But the slightly more wiser half, went straight into a ptsd induced flash back. Since then the door to the throne room has received a fair few kicks, even still they toasted their kestral lager to their invincibility despite getting rocked by everyone and anyone in Europe. Making a complete spectacle of themselves is something of a speciality of theres. But the Lion, after its tour of Scotland had taken an impressive collection of scalps in Europe in less time. The door will come down with one more kick, and the hordes are sh*tting themselves! Because it's not a new club in the same way its not a new Lion.. It's the same proud and bold Lion of old. And they all know it! From the door to the throne, they know that Lion is the same Lion that won't flinch at the thought of having to wade knee deep through horde filth to reclaim what is rightfully its! It's not just a club or a history, it's an ideology, a way of life even a way of being.. A standard... a standard that not all reach but most attempt. It is a knowing and acceptance of something greater than themselves. It is quintessentially British at it's heart. So I don't know if my dad's team can still win the league at Shark head, but if they can, I know he'd love nothing more than the Rangers captain to take a page out of the Souness book of trolling and stick a Union Flag right in the middle of the pitch then stand there and give the eyes to anyone stupid enough to cross the white line in faux outrage. When the Red Lion of Govan roars after it's inevitable return, whatever residual bravado remains in the stomach of the supporter from the treacherous diddy teams will quickly turn into quivering bones, because they know what's coming next. They all do. 55 and counting.

This for me is the sign of a guy down on his luck, so long as he keeps his chin above the water he'll get there in the end. Just needs to keep grafting and it'll come.

3 pts and a clean sheet. We're moving in the right direction, I'll take it. Don't know what the script is with the forwards, don't know if they need to go speak to someone, their dog died or they need to eat a snickers but they need to sort it out quick sharp.

There we go, a bit of class with a bit of muscle and there is your result. Game over, get this Burnley rabble out of here they're giving me a migraine.

This second goal is turning into a total mission, its like an amputee trying to get the last Pringle out of the tube.

Our players looked to have the composure of suburban foxes when shooting at the Burnley goal mouth, they were acting like a group of lads seeing a vagina for the first time. They just didn't seem to know what to do with it until Captain Azpilicueta stepped in and rammed one home. A little more urgency and composure in equal measure should see us through. I'm new here btw, nice to meet you all.