Lofty.

According to the Telegraph, it was a "mystery illness" that's kept him out of the side, nothing to do with his hamstring. Which is good news if true, always assuming the illness isn't too serious. The article also mentions the recent discomford was caused by a groin strain, again nothing to do with his hamstring. Diego Costa’s mystery illness forced him into hospital on return to Chelsea from Spain duty Exclusive: Severe 'stomach bug’ helps to explain why Jose Mourinho was so angry with the striker's condition when he returned to Stamford Bridge after Euro 2016 qualifiers The mystery over Diego Costa’s condition has deepened after it emerged that the Chelsea striker was forced to spend time in hospital after returning from international duty with Spain. Costa is struggling with a groin injury, but has also been battling an illness that forced him to go to hospital. Chelsea have not specified the illness and whether Costa is fully over it, but it is understood that the 26-year-old had symptoms similar to a severe stomach bug. That he has two problems goes some way to explaining the level of anger felt by Jose Mourinho, the Chelsea manager, over the condition in which his leading goal-scorer returned to the club last week. Costa has missed Chelsea’s past two games, against Crystal Palace and Maribor, and Mourinho claims that he does not expect him to be fit to face Manchester United on Sunday. It is understood that Costa did not train yesterday. The players that faced Maribor on Tuesday were given the day off, but Costa would have been expected to train if fit in a bid to be ready to play some part against United. Mourinho reluctantly stated that Costa had aggravated his hamstring problem, but it is believed that it is actually the striker’s groin causing him discomfort.

Martin Tyler: "At least they're drawing the second half". Desperate, much?

Thought he was excellent last night.

No it's ok I didn't take it that way at all. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I have nothing against Blue Daze and I would be extremely surprised if he has anything against me.Merely "Liking" what someone has to say isn't the issue here, but the sheer hypocrisy of Davey Baby. There's a Benitez thread somewhere on this site crawling with vitriiol, not surprising given how high emotions were running at the time. Among the most vitriolic of posts were those by Davey Baby, who stated, among things, that he'd rather see Chelsea lose than have Benitez as manager. Gvien that he was agreeing with/"Likes" a post describing Ron Gourlay’s comments in the QPR programme as “Innocuous and bland†and as containing “not a single incorrect, dodgy, or controversial thing†strikes me as massively hypcritical of him.

I'm actually listening to the Comstat Angels' BBC Session, but here's an album version:

Davey Baby "Likes" this? The self-same Davey Baby who was by far the most vehement in stating that he'd prefer to see Chelsea lose if it meant getting rid of Benitez Of all the steaming f**king hypocrites, this gobsh*te takes the biscuit.

That I do agree with. Wanting Benitiz out is/was one thing, wanting the team to lose was ridiculous in the extreme. What Robbie did, and what Robbie might have gone on to do is something we'll never know. What Benitez did, the achievement of losing to QPR to name but one of a string of embarrassing results, is written in the history books. Still, the thankfully short-live Benitez era is in the past now. He and Di Matteo are both gone, and we have to look to the future. Back on topic, I have no more regrets at the departure of Ron Gourlay than I did at that of Peter Kenyon.

At the risk of repeating myself, it depends how easy you find it to forgive and to forget. The appointment of Benitez still rankles, every bit as much as the sacking of Robbie Di Matteo, whose "couple of cup competitions" included the clubs first Champions League trophy, let's not forget. How would I describe him? At the time he was an up and coming manager, still learning his trade. I would also describe his sacking by Gourlay et al as not only grossy unfair but as a major career setback. Of course it's impossible to know how things might have panned out had the board stuck with him, rather than comling to the incredibly knee-jerk conclusion that Benitez was in any way shape or form the right man for the job. Biut it would have been nice to be given the opportunity to find out

That's not the point. Benitez was massively the wrong move by Gourlay and the rest of the board. Remember that season? I don't go as far as some, those Chelsea fans who refuse to acknowledte that we ever won the Europa League because of who was in charge at the time. And now you're describing Robbie Di Matteo as a "very average manager". Who knows how that particular season and subsequent seasons may have gone had the board not panicked and replaced a bona fide Chelsea legend with a Liverpool reject who'd been unemployed for the previous two years. It took me years to forgive Sexton for breaking up the early '70s squad, and I'm f**ked if I'm going to either forgive or forget Gourlay for saddling us with Benitez for a season.

Seriously? The change which Gourlay stated was "necessary to keep the club moving in the right direction" consisted of (a) sacking Roberto Di Matteo a mere matter of months after he'd won the Champions League and the FA Cup, and replacing him with Benitez, an appointment that was guaranteed to be every bit as unpopular as it turned out to be.

I've never forgiven or forgotten the shameless c**t for what he had to say following the sacking of Roberto Di Matteo and the appointment of the Fat Spanish Gay Icon With The Dodgy Beard. For anyone who's either forgotten or never heard it before, this is what Gourlay had to say, published in the QPR Matchday Programme: Good riddance to the fat c**t.

East Fife 0-2 Rangers GOALS from Jon Daly and Ian Black gave Rangers a comfortable victory over East Fife and took the club through to the semi-finals of the Petrofac Training Cup. On a cold and crisp night in Methil the Light Blues did enough to get another good victory under their belts without having to hit top form at Bayview. The visitors dominated the first half and Jon Daly's 29th minute goal gave the Ibrox side a slight advantage before the interval. Black, who was arguably Rangers' best performer throughout the tie, then made it 2-0 before the hour mark when he blasted a powerful free kick into the net, giving Fifers keeper Allan Fleming no chance of stopping it. Ally McCoist made three changes to his starting eleven this evening with Lewis Macleod, Kenny Miller and Kris Boyd on the bench and David Templeton, Jon Daly and Nicky Clark getting the nod. The attacking trio were quickly in the thick of the action. After a minute of play Clark, who recently recovered from a shoulder injury, received a big hit from East Fife's skipper Steven Campbell as he flew through the air to meet a header. Templeton then had the game’s first attempt on goal. The winger cut in from his left-wing berth and his low right-foot drive from 20 yards was well held by Fleming at his near post. The Light Blues certainly looked in the mood from referee George Salmond’s first whistle.On 12 minutes a deep cross to the back post was nodded intelligently down by Daly to Templeton but again Fleming was there to make a brave stop to deny the number 11. A couple of injuries to East Fife’s Allan Walker and Nathan Austin meant the game was briefly halted as both players received treatment. This allowed the home side to take a breather and when the play restarted Rangers had to try and get back into their stride albeit their backline was rarely troubled with Darren McGregor and Lee McCulloch again putting in rock-solid displays. Gary Naysmith’s defence was also working hard but before the half-hour mark they conceded the first goal and it was a scappy one from Daly – albeit the big striker will not care about that. Clark did well to edge his way into the 18-yard box and when his low delivery made its way across the face of goal his strike partner was there to bundle the ball home off the post. East Fife looked to respond quickly and they were close to getting back on level terms within four minutes when a low, driven free-kick from the left crashed off the base of Simonsen's near post. Rangers had the ball in the back of the net again before the half-time break. Black’s free-kick was headed across goal by McGregor but the far side linesman raised his flag before McCulloch produced an accurate finish from close range. Into the second half and it was again the players in blue that dominated possession and looked sharper in the last third of the pitch. On 53 minutes a whipped free kick from the left was met by Clark but his header went wide before Black doubled his side’s advantage three minutes later. Templeton was brought down 20 yards from goal and the midfielder blasted a shot past the wall and beyond Fleming who got a glove to the ball but couldn’t stop it from hitting the net. Templeton was now getting some rough treatment and when he was again brought down within Black’s free-kick range, the midfielder curled a cracking effort over the wall but inches wide of target. Rangers were playing with confidence and with plenty of firepower on the bench you felt more goals could be scored in the latter stages. On 68 minutes a raking cross from Aird dipped at the last minute and with Fleming clearly believing it was going over his goal the ball clattered off the crossbar and back into play. Miller and Shiels replaced Nicky Law and Daly as the clock ticked down although there was still 19 minutes for the subs to have a late impact. Rangers kept the pressure on but they were unable to add to their lead. The 2-0 victory, however, will no doubt please McCoist and his players who will now face Alloa in the semis. A date for this tie has yet to be confirmed. EAST FIFE: Fleming, Mullen, S. Campbell, Moyes, Walker, McAleer (R. Campbell 71), Brown, McShane (Maskrey 87), Austin (Falconer 81), Barr, Beaton. SUBS NOT USED: Miller. BOOKINGS: Moyes, Brown, Walker, Mullen RANGERS: Simonsen, Foster, McGregor, McCulloch, Wallace, Aird, Black, Law (Shiels 71), Templeton, Clark (Boyd 84), Daly (Miller 71). SUBS NOT USED: Robinson, Smith, Macleod, Mohsni. GOALS: Daly 29, Black 56 BOOKINGS: None REF: George Salmond ATT: 1,827

Chelsea's 1955 Trophy Haul. From the left: Metropolitan League Challenge Cup ('A' Team), South-East Counties League Championship Cup (Juniors), Football League Championship Cup, Metropolitan League Professional Cup, Football Combination League Cup (Reserves): Brian Mears in 1970 placing the FA Cup in the club's trophy cabinet:

Chelsea 1905 Chelsea 1955

Neil Warnock is a prime candidate for my occasional W.A.C. series. Neil Warnock: What a c**t. Has an undeniable ring of truth to it.

It's just lazy journalism that plays to media-created stereotypes. Arsenal are a delight to watch, Arsenal play beautiful football. Even when not managing a single target against us, that was our fault for not allowing them to play their natural, beautiful game. I note that Arsenal's particular (peculiar?) brand of beautiful football saw them stutter to a delightful draw at home to Hull yesterday. Chelsea on the other hand, play anti-football. Pragmatic and defensive, they park the bus and "rely on free kicks". People actually believe this. Remember the recently banned cretin who described himself as a Man U fan? The who who'd been a fan for so long, he could still remember losing to MK Dons? Oh and the seond goal yesterday?. Don't tell me. We were allowed to play... Palace's defence was at fault.. if there wasn't a suspicion of handball or offiside or other forms of enemy of football type nastiness, then there should have been. A final word on the BBC. After we beat Sporting aaway the other week, I remember checking the headlines on their website. On the right of the page was a list of headlines. Including that night's other European results, and a rumour that Man U would be in for some player or other come January. Not a mention of our match. f**k 'em all.

Hello and welcome to the latest installment of This Is The Shed End And We Believe Everything Anyone Ever Tells Us. For instance... at 4:25 pm, smithyk registers on this site to inform us that he has "had a lot of interest" for a numberplate. Which may or may not be true, but what certainly can be ascertained is that smithy wants to sell this numberplate of his. And then exactly 90 minutes later, pablo registers on the site, to tell us that this numberplat is worth a lot more than a previously estimated £200 top whack should he be fortunate enough to find a punter with more money than sense. Is there a connection between the two, you ask? Why of course not. It is simply a pure coincidence that pablo just happened to be cruising this site, just happened to spot the offer of a numberplate for sale, and just happened to have the impulse to share his sincere and heartfelt opinion that the numberplate in question is worth a lot more tthan the previously stated £200. Old pablo then goes on to state categorically that "A chelsea fan would clock it straight away." I wouldn't.

Rangers 6-1 Raith Rovers RANGERS went two better than their Stark’s Park goal tally as they raced past Raith Rovers with a 6-1 win at Ibrox. On Armed Forces day the Light Blues battled past Raith thanks to goals from Lee McCulloch, Nicky Law, Kenny Miller, Kris Boyd and a brace from Jon Daly. An eighth minute goal from McCulloch started the rout and gave Raith a taste of what was to come. Both Boyd and Daly both bagged their first league goals of the season, Boyd’s being the first he had scored in 746 minutes of league football this season. The return of Kenny Miller’s return after six week’s out seemed to have the effect both his manager and himself had hoped as Rangers started the livelier. With just five minutes on the clock Miller’s impact was immediate as he wriggled away from the Raith defence on the edge of the box to get the ball free only to see his low shot easily saved by Ross Laidlaw. Three minutes later the Gers made it 1-0, Lewis Macleod’s corner found Lee McCulloch rising highest in the box. The Captain glanced his header across the face of goal and into the top right hand corner of the Raith net. Rangers continued to pile the pressure on and Macleod was involved again on ten minutes. The winger stepped away from Jason Thomson on the left to service Nicky Law who linked up with Kris Boyd to play a quick one two. Boyd swung his right foot through the ball on the turn and hit a volley at Laidlaw from 20 yard out. Just a couple of moments after that it was Aird on the other winger who continued with the constant Light Blue attack. Miller deep in the Raith half played the youngster and he galloped away from his man to get a shot away on the angel which he flashed just wide of the left upright. Raith’s best chance of the first half was from a Ryan Conroy corner with Paul Watson’s heading wide from six yards out on 34 minutes. But Rangers responded strongly to Raith’s attack, Kris Boyd took a quick free kick to Miller who played Law through on goal. The midfielder lifted the ball over the outstretched Laidlaw on the outside of his right foot to make it 2-0 with 36 minutes on the clock. Just after the break Martin Scott headed beyond Simonsen after Anderson had headed into the midfielder’s path. Simonsen got a hand to it but couldn’t keep it out. Rangers response though was impressive. With Miller restoring the Gers two goal cushion less than a minute after Raith had pulled one back through a close range Martin Scott header. Boyd played a quick short ball into his strike partner on the edge of the area and Miller clipped the ball over the keeper from seven yards out. Moments later Miller was put clean through by Boyd, but this time Laidlaw denied the striker with his legs. By now Miller was in the mood and he carved out another chance for himself in the 59th minute, only to be denied by Laidlaw once more who dived to his right to keep out the striker’s left foot shot on the turn. Then came the moment Kris Boyd was waiting for. The striker finally opened his league account for the season with a shot from the edge of the box that squirmed through Laidlaw’s grasp. Boyd looked to the heavens in celebration after a barren run that he’s not been accustomed to over the years at Ibrox. Ally McCoist took off his second half goal scorers in the 70th minute, giving them a well-earned rest and replacing them with Jon Daly and Nicky Clark. Lewis Macleod also made way for David Templeton moments later. With 83 minutes on the clock Boyd’s replacement Daly got his first of the season too. The Irishman popped up in front of goal to poke the ball home beyond Laidlaw to make it 5-1 after some good work from fellow sub Nicky Clark down the right. And in the final minute of the game Daly profited from the right side once again, Richard Foster glanced a ball across the front of the Raith goal and all Daly had to do was guide the ball beyond Laidlaw to round of an emphatic afternoon for Rangers. RANGERS: Simonsen, Foster, McGregor, Wallace, McCulloch, Law, Aird, Black, MacLeod (Templeton 74â€), Miller (Clark 70â€), Boyd (Daly 70â€). Subs not used: Robinson, Faure, Smith, Shiels. Goals: McCulloch 8â€, Law 36â€, Miller 54â€, Boyd 63â€. Daly 83†& 90†Bookings: Foster 80†RAITH ROVERS: Laidlaw, Thomson, Watson, Fox, Anderson, Moon, Stewart, Scott, Conroy (Vaughan 82â€), McKeown, Ellis (Perry 87â€). Subs not used: McGurn, Hill, Callachan, Robertson, Matthews. Goals: Scott 53†Bookings: Fox 32â€,

Team News: Two Changes For Gers. Kenny Miller and Darren McGregor come into the Rangers side today to take on Raith Rovers at Ibrox. Nicky Clark will start on the bench this afternoon and the injured Marius Zaliukas also drops out from the team that started against Livingston before the international break. Miller has only started four games this season since returning to Ibrox for his third spell as a player, he scored in the Light Blues 4-2 defeat of Queen of the South. That game on August 30th was the last game the striker played before picking up a calf injury that has kept him out for over 6 weeks. Nicky Clark scored in Rangers emphatic 4-0 defeat of Raith Rovers in September to take his tally to three for the season but makes way for Miller in today's line up. Rangers: Simonsen, Foster, McGregor, Wallace, McCulloch, Law, Aird, Black, MacLeod, Miller, Boyd. Subs: Robinson, Clark, Templeton, Daly, Faure, Smith, Shiels.

Pretty good swimmer, by all accounts.

Or maybe the bloke's dyslexic. Did you ever think of that, you doxy bollox twat.

Twin Peaks. Arguably the cult TV series to end all cult TV series. One of the few I can watch again and again and again. And now... Return to Twin Peaks, aka Twin Peaks Season Three. It’s Showtime: New Twin Peaks By David Lynch And Mark Frost In 2016!

134 here, which makes me considerably more f**kwitted (or lazy brained) than the last one I took, which was a couple of decades ago. 140.. that would be equal to what? Five Rio Ferdinands. Or am I beng a little over generous, perhaps?