3 replies to this topic

[Dorset]

Let me start by saying that a great deal of soul-searching took place before I decided to write again about this snide Mail on Sunday scribbler because I know many of you believe that his views on all things Chelsea are best left to stew in their own self-indulgent bile and should not, under any circumstances whatsoever, be regurgitated. Nevertheless, irrespective of this and fully appreciative of the undeniable fact that the smug hack has always been a constant sneering face peering through our window of opportunity from the moment Roman arrived, there are now genuine concerns over another emergent trait of his - the somewhat distressful habit of repeating himself in print, which at best might result in the onset of a pipe and slippers retirement, or at worst a puffing and a-wandering of and in them aimlessly down that dimly lit corridor towards Senilityville.

I am referring, of course, to Patrick’s latest epistle on John Terry, delivered as it was [morally speaking] from On High in the Mail last weekend, yet reminding me instantly of an article he wrote only a few months earlier, on November 6^th to be precise, in both tone and content. Further investigation has since revealed, rather disturbingly if you are in that minority group known as his regular readership, certain telltale signs of both forgetfulness and a repetitious tendency, evidence of which I’m only too pleased to expose here, especially if it might ultimately help with the poor guy’s long term recovery prospects.

Starting with the November piece (remember that Patrick…of course you do) under the headline ‘Surely it’s time for England to do without John Terry’ where the Collins dwindling flock were treated to this Pulitzer Prize of an opening paragraph…

“They sniffed the wind, checked the weather and listened to the word on the street. And then the wise men of the Football Association took an extremely cunning decision. John Terry will not captain England against Spain on Saturday evening. A depressing situation has been avoided and, for the moment at least, English football has clawed back a little self-respect.”

Now fast-forward to the present and this updated effort from Collins which gives us precious little by way of fresh insight under an equally inventive headline of ’Guilty or not, is Terry really the man to captain England?’ followed by this self-inflicted piece of potty plagiarism …

“Terry's not guilty plea is of central importance, but until that plea is tested at law, a shadow will haunt the game. There is, of course, the possibility that Terry will sniff the prevailing winds and decide to remove himself from the centre of attention.”

Now unlike some, I don’t particularly want to get too sniffy about one footballer, one club or one word, but there is a whiff of concern here for me, as doubtless there must be for many who smell a repetitious rat at work and sense the obnoxious stench of lazy journalism at its most lethargic. For the next such example, let’s go back to November again and Patrick’s summation of how JT would have reacted had he appeared in an England shirt on that occasion…

“And the rash of unseemly speculation. Would he affect head-bowing humility, or would he attempt the ‘JT: Captain, Leader, Legend’ pose which goes down so well at Stamford Bridge?”

How times and words change in the Collins Dictionary two months on… or not as this case proves to be and he ponders the possibility of JT stepping down once again in his January reprise…

“On the other hand, he may choose to live out the slogan that hangs from a stand at Stamford Bridge: 'John Terry: Captain, Leader, Legend', it reads. It is trite, crude and bombastic, the kind of nonsense which nobody possessing a sense of the ridiculous could entertain for a moment.”

Not as ‘trite, crude and bombastic’ as treating your readership to a repeat dose of malevolent nonsense so soon after the last, I would have ventured, had it not been for the delicate health issue so clearly compromised in so doing. Still, that said and with Collins senses in such marked decline, it is a relief to know he still retains and displays his most acute, that of the ridiculous. Indeed, he can also grasp the importance of tenet and law when he feels so inclined too, as evidenced in a November paragraph, designed to inject a note of personal statesmanlike authority [by suggesting a reserve of judgment] whilst propounding the exact opposite …

“In any case, large issues are at stake. As we have been superfluously informed, the charge of racism is a serious matter, one which could gravely compromise a man’s career. Both the FA and the Metropolitan Police would have needed solid grounds for mounting their inquiries. All the more reason, then, why those inquiries should be conducted without clamorous distractions, such as Saturday evening would have offered. Clearly, with no relevant evidence to hand, I have no idea what these investigations might reveal.”

Quite right too, you forgetful old thing you, although isn’t it such a shame you couldn’t wait any time at all before prejudging JT in the paragraphs that followed, by driving your coach-load of disdain straight through any open mind your readership had left after you rode roughshod through it with your prejudice. And not satisfied with this immediate poisoning of your one pure thought, we find only a couple of months down a full circle line and in the centre of even more vitriolic diatribe aimed at JT, the following mock piety card played yet again…

“Here we should stress, for those incapable of grasping the obvious, that Terry is innocent until a court decides otherwise. For a man in his position, the consequences of a guilty verdict would be devastating.”

At this point, bearing in mind the sheer crass absurdity of the Collins penmanship, it is easy to lose all respect for a man who so obviously hates another (and those associated with him vicariously through club or country allegiance) to the extent that he can produce such a public outpouring of repetitious, embarrassing prose. In truth, it is as though he has become obsessed with a loathing for a fellow human being and it has left him bereft of humility or fairness of thought.

Sadly, I fully expect further tirades, perhaps even on a weekly basis, as manic obsession of this kind knows no bounds other than a restraining order. For our part, since JT is now able go on and lead England in Europe, we can only try to find it in our hearts to have pity on Patrick Collins whilst he is locked in his full interminable reproduction mode, each time forgetting the vitriol that went before. The Mail might even end up with a whole serialisation of similitude, should their writer’s blockheadedness really deteriorate into a terminal condition and late in the day though it may be, final awareness and diagnosis of his problem dictates that someone, perhaps at Editorial level, steps in soon to put him out of his tetchy time loop misery.
　

[paraphil]

Alzheimers,





...............I hope

[SHELLY]

Old Pop Collins own newspaper is running a "Dignity for the Elderly" campaign, surely they should put their money where there mouth is, and take his laptop off him before he tries to swat a fly with it, with disastrous results....

On the other hand...

Edited by SHELLY, 02 February 2012 - 12:45 PM.

[The postman]

He`s just a pompous-middle class w**k stain old twatt