Kyle

Michael Oliver is a gimp. Fabregas got a red for gently (and exquisitely) pinging it against a WBA player's head from 20 yards away, but kicking the ball into a Chelsea player's face at close range is nothing?

Can't win when we fanny about with the ball in our box, can't win when we go no nonsense and boot it out, ffs.

We're so lucky to have Thiago!

I'm sick of Havertz right now. If he's crap again I hope Tuchel will give Broja a half hour to show something. I'm optimistic otherwise, Southampton rarely set up the smartest for big teams (and Tottenham!). We'll get space. Fancy Sterling for another couple. No more reds please!

Didn't want him in years past and often found him frustrating, but that was also at three times the reported price. I'm so sick of most of our attack I'm up for anything different... except Gordon. Playing with better players might see him step up. We used to sometimes complain that Hazard didn't have many at his level to link up with, imagine having to be Palace's main attacker!

The second Sterling goal was really encouraging for me. How many times in recent years have we seen Reece put in that kind of cross with nobody getting on the end of it? Or worse, not making those runs at all. "It's just a tap in", good, there's a lot of easy goals up for grab in this league, it's about time we started claiming some. Not impressed with Conor Bullard so far, but I am sympathetic to the job he had to try and do today (replace Kante AND cover for Jorginho), hopefully it's just a case of him trying too hard to stake his claim for a place in this team this early. Will always happily take a win with 10 men. Did moderately okay in the Lucky Blues half-time draw too: Today was a good day!

Dear Kalidou, please flatten Crash Dummy Daniel James. Also, if he tries his trademark "run into someone at full speed face-first to win a free-kick" technique, tense up! Yours sincerely, everyone outside of Dirty Leeds.

Never been much impressed with this guy. All effort and workrate. We're not lacking in that department, we need quality.

You all have no class jumping on him the same week he dropped out of a game with a sore cervix. I hope you can live with yourselves if he miscarries. Kessie's welcome!

Dull. Hopefully Broja will liven things up.

Having painal performed on you is a foulable offence now. Welcome to Chelsea, Raheem!

It's nice to see a league table that isn't distorted by teams playing by a differents set of rules than others again, it's been a while. This year when teams are getting a winter holiday we'll actually be among them! I'm optimistic for this game and the season. Fancy Sterling to get a couple and get off to a good start, and Koulibaly to wreck whatever poor bastard's up top for them. Sorry Frank. Let's go!

Neville's a flange. I'd take an owner who's out trying to get sh*t done over an owner who spends 95% of his TV time crying that no manager ever deserves the sack, while only ever being five minutes away from, y'know, sacking Salford managers. We're "hearing his name too much" for an owner? Motherf**ker, you spent the the last half of our season turning every game we played into a discussion about Abramovich!

Sterling's nimbleness is going to be a big asset creatively. Too often before I feel like if you get bodies in front of us around the box we struggle, he looks capable of dribbling through. I'd love to see Broja live up to his potential and give us a way of brute-forcing through a packed defense too.

Anyone who chooses to wear the #9 that gets printed while walking under a ladder on an Indian burial ground deserves it!

A forward with a bit of luck, at Chelsea? What is this sorcery?

The Kanterminator! We look really bright. It's encouraging to see Sterling skipping past players.

Don't care about the result but I hope we look fitter tonight. Just two weeks until the real thing. I hate these glamour pre-season tours. I wish we'd have a summer like 2014 again, short trips across europe with regular football (8 games in less than a month). That's what it should all be about, not "building a brand". Luckily it's not a huge disadvantage as nearly every other big team is making the same mistake. I just really wish we'd just focus on being at peak-sharpness again though!!

He's getting sh*t done. Given we've only really had a defined structure at boardroom level for about a month (and God knows how much work to make sure the club could keep even running the few months before that), to have three big transfers done already is impressive. To be efficient at this chaotic of a time for the club bodes really well for the future.

The sh*t from SPAIN pretended they could afford him But Jules Kounde f**king ignored them Joanne Laporta asked him "Will you play for free?" Jules said "f**k off, I want Chelsea!" HE HATES BARCA, HE HATES BARCA, HE HATES BARCA AND HE HATES BARCA!

Aside from maybe Rudiger, you won't see a better CB move this summer. And again maybe aside from Rudiger, you won't see a better value CB move this summer. One of the top handful of defenders over the last decade, only just turned 31, like Van Dijk, but with a lesser injury toll, and at club level at least will have a very real hunger for big trophies that he's not been at a club capable of challenging for. I'm not very keen on a lot of the other CBs we've been linked with, but I'm treating them as Christensen (who I don't think we'll miss much) replacements now. Replacing Rudiger was the big one, and Koulibaly's one of the very few around who can fill that void. We're very lucky to have him. Can't wait to see strikers bouncing off him soon!

Raheem, Raheem, Raheem, Raheeeem I'm begging of you please run like a man!

I don't know If we can afford him after sorting out the priority positions this year, but the price Tchouameni's going for (from a club in a weaker negotiating standpoint than West Ham are for Rice right now) puts a better perspective on the potential fee. I'd hope we're at least doing a Bayern and tapping him the f**k up playing the long game. Another year of him openly wanting out and it should be no trouble getting him next summer. I don't think we're in desperate need of a midfielder right now. The next season surely can't be as demanding as last on Kante/Kova/Jorginho, even just from a sheer miles standpoint, let alone being made to play through different Covid rules, consistently playing against unnaturally much more rested opponents during the Christmas period and having to rush back from injury etc (not that I'm bitter or anything!). Add in Gallagher and maybe give Ampadu a try while we bide our time/raise the funds for Rice.

https://www.espn.co.uk/football/chelsea-engchelsea/story/4678367/ex-chelsea-owner-roman-abramovich-sues-european-union-council-over-sanctions He waited until we were safe before coming for them 💙. Chris Bryant next please!

It's horrible. For an outlet that gave Bruce Grobelaar the platform to blame us for the deaths of 39 people, they seem pretty concerned with others posting the "truth" about stadium incidents now!