blizeH

Get up slowly, look to be in pain Hobble around a bit Get yourself back into position Hobble hobble hobble Oh sh*t, I might be a useful outlet, sprint to create the angle Smash a pass up to Torres Hobble

Who is this team and what have they done with Chelsea

f**king Torres, much easier to just put in a normal ball there, tries a completely unnecessary robana that goes straight to the opposition Yet I still f**king loved it. Torres! Torres!

Knocked out in the CL group stages Scraping by in the Europa League and FA Cup, struggling against some weak opposition 3rd in the league, with 1st well and truly out of sight as early as February Ranked #1 in the world HOW?! (not that I'm complaining, but damn)

Am I the only one who watched that interview with a f**king HUGE grin on my face? I'm hoping every game until the end of the season every single fan at Stamford Bridge lets Roman know exactly what we want Jose Mourinho, Jose Mourinho...

Neymar reminds me of how Ronaldo was before he joined United - incredibly talented, massive potential but mostly wasted. If a good manager can knock that out of him, he'll be one of the best around IMO.

3 Samsung TVs, a Galaxy S3 (the blue 'Chelsea phone') and an Audi TT - oh, and I use Thomas Cook where possible /clearly a sucker for it (though none of it was a concious 'I must buy Chelsea products' decision)

I hate reading things like this... we have Lampard, Oscar, Hazard and Mata playing behind the striker and still we get talk of the service to the strikers? We saw in the last game vs West Ham that when Ba was at least making the right runs he had plenty of service, and plenty of great opportunities (that he squandered, but still...)

f**king Gerard? Loyal? http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/l/liverpool/4653041.stm "Steven has told us he will not accept our offer of an improved and extended contract because he wants to leave," a Liverpool club statement read. And Ferdinand over JT?!

My local team, Gloucester, are in serious financial and still haven't recovered from the floods that destroyed their stadium back in 2007: On Wednesday they're playing against Colwyn Bay (Frank Sinclair is their player/manager) at Whaddon Road, Cheltenham and you can pay what you like to get in - http://www.gloucestercityafc.com/press-release-pay-what-you-want-colwyn-bay-27th-march/ There are people from all over the country hoping to get to the game (some Wigan and Norwich fans that I know of) - any Chels going?

Well said Mike - it got a little silly/personal at times there. Saying that I agree 100% with Englishman about Rafa - he has pretty much been an absolute disaster since arriving here, and whilst I'm a bit more optimistic based on the last few results/performances, I certainly don't want him here next season. At times I almost feel a bit sorry for Rafa, but then I remember he don't care about us...

Spot the odd one out: Top 10 best-paid coaches in 2012-13 (Source France Football – figures in Euros) 1. Jose Mourinho (Real Madrid): 14m 2. Carlo Ancelotti (PSG): 12m 3. Marcelo Lippi (Guangzhou Evergrande) : 11m 4. Guus Hiddink (Anzhi Makhachkala): 10.8m 5. Kenny Dalglish (Unemployed): 10m 6. Arsene Wenger (Arsenal): 9.4m 7. Fabio Capello (Russia): 9.2m 8. Roberto Mancini (Manchester City) 7.6m 9. Sir Alex Ferguson (Manchester United) 7.5 m 10. José Antonio Camacho (China) 6.1m

£30m plus Malouda I'd take...

Damn, sorry to hear that Mike - it can be very hit or miss lately though, not just by the game you go to but also where you're sat - I feel bad now because the seat you got for me had some good guys there, decent enough atmosphere etc though maybe not considering it was against West Ham! To be honest even a single chant would have made it better than the last game I went to (Sparta Prague... I can't remember a single chant all game other than a Jose Mourinho one in the second half) Enjoyed the game today - a very good result and Hazard was on fire again! Huge thanks again to Mike for getting me the ticket

Really hope Torres starts - that was the best he's played by months (I'd go as far as to say it's the only time he hasn't been awful in the past few months) and as others have said, a bit of continuity would do him some good. It's not like Ba has set the world alight since joining us either...

Thank you so much for sorting this Mike! Really appreciate it - see you on Sunday :)

Thanks for the heads up on this yorkley - just phoned the club, they said I wouldn't be allowed in on my own - but that makes absolutely no sense as they sold a single ticket to Mike! Argh. Can I just say thanks to Mike also for being really helpful in trying to figure out what the situation is with the ticket, top bloke - sorry for messing you about

yorkley, I'm guessing I could say my family are already in there? Would that work?

What? Really? Mike are you going with a kid (and we can go in the three of us or somethoing)

Yup - we usually sit in MHL/Shed Lower but to be honest I'd just be really happy to be able to go to this game :)

That'd be great, thank you Mike!

Well... if he does finish the season short of the record, that's yet another good reason to sign him up again for next year!

Hi Mike, is the ticket still available? :D (is it your ticket or are you going to the match anyway? Just wondering if I could meet you before the game to pick it up or something)

Is there a match thread for this? FFS it's not even on TV? I'm stuck in London on Sunday on my own whilst my girlfriend is on a course - I was hoping to get a ticket, but sold out... no worries, I'll find a pub near her course and watch the footy all day, and what's on TV? Sunderland v Norwich City Wigan Athletic v Newcastle United Arggghhh!

That chant is brilliant yet utterly dreadful at the same time