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MORE TOTTENHAM JOKES Source http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/oc...m-hotspur-jokes Haringey council has blocked Tottenham's plans to build a new ground on Northumberland Park. A town hall source said: "We don't mind having a funfair there once a year, but a circus every fortnight is a bit much." "I was playing Scrabble and had enough letters to make 'Tottenham Hotspur Football Club'. I was gutted when I found out it was only worth two points." Tesco are releasing new Oxo cubes in Spurs colours. Customers are told to look out for laughing stocks. A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. "What about your parents?" asks the social worker. "No, they beat me," says the boy. "What about your grandparents?" says the social worker. "No, they beat me even harder!" says the boy. "Well ... where do you want to stay then?" replies the social worker. "Tottenham," says the boy. "They don't beat anyone. · What do a toothpick and Tottenham have in common? They both have two points Juande Ramos, shortly after another training session, comments to the head groundsman at White Hart Lane how impressive the pitch is looking. "It ought to," replies the groundsman. "We put 70 million quid's worth of manure on it every week." I just went down to the newsagents and bought Tottenham Hotspur magazine. Thank goodness they had porn mags to hide it in. · What does a Spurs fan do after he sees his team win? Turns off the Xbox After leaving San Siro, Jose Mourinho was asked if he was going to help Spurs get out of their slump. He turned around and said, "No way, I ain't that special". Apparently the entire Tottenham squad have been busy honing their skills playing the computer game Championship Manager. Sadly it seems Juande misunderstood and thinks they want to play for a Championship manager. Contrary to what you may think, Spurs are the strongest team in the league at the moment. Sure, aren't they holding everyone else up? What do the Premier League and a cowboy have in common? They both have spurs at their feet. A man was found dead floating in the Thames, wearing a blond wig, full make-up, bra, knickers, suspenders and a Spurs shirt. Before informing the next of kin the police removed the Spurs shirt to save the family embarrassment. What would an improved version of Spurs be called? Newcastle United. Did you hear that Juande Ramos was clocked doing 169mph on the M1 coming back from Stoke? Apparently he was just so desperate for three points. · Is it just me or are Spurs the team to beat this season? Everyone's at it. A man is sitting in a pub with his jack russell dog one Sunday afternoon. The football results are coming up on the television in the corner: "Stoke City 2, Tottenham Hotspur 1," reads the announcer. Suddenly the jack russell jumps up and shouts out, "Oh, no, not again." The shocked landlord says, "That's amazing. Why did he say that when it was announced that Tottenham lost?" "Because he's a Spurs supporter," the dog's owner replies. The landlord then asks what the dog says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man replies, "I don't know. I've only had him six months." When a groggy Vedran Corluka regained consciousness in the ambulance leaving the Britannia Stadium on Sunday he asked medical staff who he was. On being told he played football for Tottenham Hotspur he lapsed into a coma. All trains through White Hart Lane have been cancelled due to a massive points failure. What's the difference between Juande Ramos and a cowboy? A cowboy wears Spurs on his boots whereas Ramos is a crap manager. What does THFC stand for? Tottenham Heading For the Championship. A little boy gets £10 for his birthday and rushes down to the sports shop to buy the new football he has been desperate for. He gives the ball to the shopkeeper, who says, "Sorry, son, this ball is £20. You only have £10". The boy says, "OK, if you blindfold me and I can guess the name of the club on any ball, will you give it to me for £10?" He agrees and gives the boy an Arsenal ball. "I can hear cannons blasting, so it's an Arsenal ball." Next he gives him a Millwall ball: "I hear lions, so it's Millwall." Amazed, the shopkeeper says, "Get this and you can have it for nothing." The boy listens and says Spurs. The man asks if he's heard a cockerel. "No," says the boy. "It's going down." Spurs have been forced to rename their ground "White Lane" because their "Hart" was surgically removed when Berbatov and Keane were sold. What's the difference between Bigfoot and the Spurs defence? Bigfoot has been spotted several times.

Riise's goal http://www.d1g.com/video/show/?id=1949670

Hmmm any updates on this kid ?

4-4 game over

BALLLLLLLLLACK!!!!1 4-3

Carvalho OFF...oh my god

ALEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 3-2

SHEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 2-2

3-0 alex!!!!

now if only we can win this game....come on !!!

if Rosenborg keep that scoreline and we won this game, we're basically through I just hope we can somehow, our first half has been very poor.

1-0 already !!! MALOUDA!!!

Full time 0-0 Good result there for Rangers, but Arse 7 - Slavia Prague 0 ???

Ben haim just got skinned by Rooney....but Cech pulled out a fine save. I have a bad feeling about this

Well i am really gutted....with Arse winning today against spuds, they are currently on top with 13 points now, PLUS one game in hand....and next week they have to play Derby at home, so we might as well forget that match. So, Arsenal at 16 points just before we go head to head against Manure next Sunday.... We really need to start grinding results again, a win at old trafford is a MUST!!!! 1 point wouldnt just cut it. I hope lamps and Drogs would recover soon, we really need them now

Aparrantely, angry gunners are spamming his forum now...check it out http://www.williamgallas.net/Forum/summ ... P771128495 And look at the poll at the main site

From gettyimages http://editorial.gettyimages.com/Search ... d=74142069 My favorite :

it's all over now....we need to score 2, away from home, with 10 man, and no Drogba or Sheva....game over i guess manure will now lift their epl title in stamford bridge next wednesday....i just can't imagine

well ill be damned if Tevez didnt play the next game somehow (FA ban, injured, etc) ...because he's looking really good today...2 goals and 1 assist Here's hoping Tevez to score a hattrick next week

Even Wet spam is now raping Bolton 3-0.....while we can't even beat them last week. Sigh... I just hope they can continue their good form when they meet Manure next week....

Well it doesnt matter....Our only hope now is for Wet Spam to win their last game of the season...at OLD TRAFFORD. nd im not surprised tomorrow if fergie joins the relegation candicates asking FA to deduct wet spam's points... I just hope we can win all of our remaining games, i'd hate it if they have to celebrate their title at Stamford Bridge.

sh*t, van der sar saves a penalty...game over now And now Manure wasting times in the last 5 minutes of the game...

Goin' down down, deeper and down !! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyA1p3hiR_w

Ok i've finally calmed down now....and now that i think about it, if Manure drew against both Man City and Westham, we could still get away with the title if we won all of our remaining games ! If Westham can play like yesterday at Old Trafford to save their premiership status....... . I always wanted to see Westham Relegated again, but if they can cost Manure the EPL title, i'd choose the latter. If we do the math, we still can win it IF: Manure drew against both Man City and Westham Manure lost to us and Man City Manure lost to us and Westham As you can see, they only need 4 more points to secure their premiership status, so this is our only chance!!!