Eggy McMuffin

Because women only see football like that and can have no other views on the subject... I was about to give a load of counter examples to it being simple, but I'm starting to think (hope) you're not serious, but text based communication makes it difficult to be sure.

So you think that she is Emenalo and Ancelotti rolled into one? Emenalo is the one responsible for Rafa (along with I assume Rafa's parents), and Ancelotti wanted Torres 6 months earlier (admittedly before his poor form), and although he got him late, still got him. When mistakes are made, it's usually because footballing people gave the wrong advice. Football is a complex game and there are many different views on it.

I agree, it's a clear sign that Roman has lost interest and is looking to sell Chelsea at the earliest available opportunity.

There's also that you can guarantee he'll miss 10 or more games a season through suspension.

Complete is the wrong word. Fernandinho is better than Ramires technically and that's hard to argue with and it could possibly be argued that he's more disciplined positionally, but I haven't seen enough of him to say that with 100% confidence. What I would say though is that Ramires is much faster, has much better stamina and is much better on the break. His driving runs from midfield are something that are already covered by Toure for Man City, though. I'm not sure if it's a fair price you paid for him, but he's good and will improve Man City.

I'm getting adverts for Korean Cupid. I assume this is purely because I play starcraft.

Mikel used to have that, but he got a lot of red cards at that time so had it forced out of him. Fellaini gets a lot of yellow cards, which add up. Add up to sending offs and suspensions. I just don't think Fellaini is the right player to be a significant step up from Mikel. Any of the other players you mentioned I think would entirely justify their fee. I'd also add De Rossi, Marchisio and most others on those lines who are incredibly unlikely to come here, but I still hold out hope for. Fellaini and Matic I just don't think would improve us enough to justify their hefty fees.

He has the exact same flaws as Mikel, though. He's slow, he dwells on the ball and slows down the play and if anything he's worse positionally than Mikel which Mikel at least uses to make up for his lack of speed. If we're looking to upgrade on Mikel, it should at least be a noticeable improvement for the £20m or even £30m it may cost us (depending on which paper you read/believe).

I'd not be happy with Fellaini out of that, I just don't see him being able to do the same role, or at least not be a big enough improvement on Mikel in that role (he's better in other positions, obviously) to justify the £20m or more that he'd cost. I'd also clarify that it's either Bender, not just Sven... in fact, I'd probably prefer Lars, but I'm not sure Leverkusen would really want or need to sell their other top quality player.

I will most likely get lambasted for this, but it's not necessarily his goals that make him good for those games, his pace and movement opens up space which in my view is part of the reason Ronaldo has got better in the big games. Of course that isn't the whole story and your argument is a very valid one. As much as anything, there has to be a reason Mourinho picks him ahead of Benzema in those games.

Not really, he rotated them depending on the opposition and tended to trust Higuain in the bigger games, because he's quicker on the break. I think Higuain played more games overall, but I'm not sure and it'll be close either way.

We don't need it, no and I wasn't suggesting that. It's just that some signings whet the appetite of fans and make the opposition worry. Higuain or Jovetic wouldn't do that, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't improve the squad and it certainly doesn't mean they wouldn't score goals. It does depend on how Mourinho wants to go tactically as well. In a 4-3-3, there isn't a player particularly close to the striker, so they need to be in general a bit more like Lukaku, Ba, Cavani in terms of build. In a 4-2-3-1 there would be Mata close to the striker to feed off and link up with so the build of the striker is less important as they can rely on neat interplay a bit more.

Higuain, Lukaku and Ba would be a good front line and definitely give us variations and options. Not as good as Lewandowski or Cavani, but a very talented line up (Ba needs time, before you jump in). I'd be happy with that, it wouldn't leave me massively excited like Lewandowski, Cavani, Falcao etc. but I would be confident enough in that line up.

He'll never be as good as Matt Holland or Scott Canham, though.

Andy Carroll? I've heard he's good.

You're living in France now, a French one would be much nicer.

It's based on your internet history. I currently have Amazon, google now and playstation adverts because I frequent these sites. You may have searched for information on Neymar, or maybe youtube videos so it thinks you're interested in him.

A Belgian Hello sounds like it's something that would make a prostitute slap you if you asked her to perform it. Welcome to the forum!

Honestly, if I didn't have internet, I'd have bigger worries than whether my xbox works or not.

Are you expecting Oscar to play 80 games next season? Mata and Hazard to play 70? Of course that's a bad idea and in order to be able to rest them, you need to have people you can rely on taking their place and not looking out of place. Last season we had Marin who was either injured or just looking poor and Benayoun. There was no way we could afford to give Mata, Hazard and Oscar the rest they needed because we didn't have players beyond Moses who could do it.

Their national teams haven't experimented with it, but De Bruyne has played as a central midfielder for Genk and for Werder Bremen. This gives rise to the idea that he can play deeper. Oscar has played in the pivot for us in a few games as well, which may give us some reason to think he can play there... and I do believe Oscar played in central midfield before joining us, but I can't be 100% sure on that as it's something I read somewhere. None of that goes to mention that they have they each have the proper skill set to play the position in central midfield. Oscar in particular I feel has the qualities to really shine there. Most of his creating is done with shorter passes and good movement, which would help us tick over in midfield and get the ball to our attacking players faster and in better positions. Oscar works hard and is good defensively (but can still improve and would need to in order to play there) and he's stronger than he looks (although again would need to improve this slightly). De Bruyne is more direct and slightly different in how he plays, but he has shown in Germany that he would be a very good central midfielder, he'd need to be more disciplined in a two than he has been in a three, but that doesn't mean he can't and it doesn't make it fanciful, either. The comparison to Mikel doesn't make sense and is clearly just a dig, so lets just move on.

I think it's better to loan creative players to Spain. Slightly more time on the ball (but still fast paced), more of a focus on possession football and it's generally a bit more free flowing. It definitely gives younger players a bit more opportunity to improve that creative, attacking side of their game and as long as we don't overreach and try and get him into a champions' league side like we did last season he'll get enough games to really improve and get going. After his technique is proven then we can get him used to the Premier League. I would have a worry that he might have the best parts of his game beaten out of him over here.

I disagree on Moses. I think he proved himself to be a very useful back-up. By no means was he a world beater, but he did his job whenever called upon. Marin was injured for most of the season and then just never got going, not that I expect him to come back or anything. Moses was good when he played, though. This is a good signing, though. He's hard working and tracks back, which I think is something very useful to have in certain games, but obviously not every game. It's solid albeit unspectacular, just a defensive midfielder and a striker and I'm happy.

That was supposedly in relation to Kevin Prince Boateng... but I'm not convinced he actually said that. It seems like one of those quotes that does the rounds on twitter and is just made up.

I think it's more that they write so many articles now, it's likely that you'll come across them and then you mention something you read somewhere, search for it and realise that you've actually read something from that pit of hate.