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Repeated Wind From Patrick Collins Smells Like Mean Spirit


Dorset

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Let me start by saying that a great deal of soul-searching took place before I decided to write again about this snide Mail on Sunday scribbler because I know many of you believe that his views on all things Chelsea are best left to stew in their own self-indulgent bile and should not, under any circumstances whatsoever, be regurgitated. Nevertheless, irrespective of this and fully appreciative of the undeniable fact that the smug hack has always been a constant sneering face peering through our window of opportunity from the moment Roman arrived, there are now genuine concerns over another emergent trait of his - the somewhat distressful habit of repeating himself in print, which at best might result in the onset of a pipe and slippers retirement, or at worst a puffing and a-wandering of and in them aimlessly down that dimly lit corridor towards Senilityville.

I am referring, of course, to Patrick’s latest epistle on John Terry, delivered as it was [morally speaking] from On High in the Mail last weekend, yet reminding me instantly of an article he wrote only a few months earlier, on November 6th to be precise, in both tone and content. Further investigation has since revealed, rather disturbingly if you are in that minority group known as his regular readership, certain telltale signs of both forgetfulness and a repetitious tendency, evidence of which I’m only too pleased to expose here, especially if it might ultimately help with the poor guy’s long term recovery prospects.

Starting with the November piece (remember that Patrick…of course you do) under the headline ‘Surely it’s time for England to do without John Terry’ where the Collins dwindling flock were treated to this Pulitzer Prize of an opening paragraph…

“They sniffed the wind, checked the weather and listened to the word on the street. And then the wise men of the Football Association took an extremely cunning decision. John Terry will not captain England against Spain on Saturday evening. A depressing situation has been avoided and, for the moment at least, English football has clawed back a little self-respect.â€

Now fast-forward to the present and this updated effort from Collins which gives us precious little by way of fresh insight under an equally inventive headline of ’Guilty or not, is Terry really the man to captain England?’ followed by this self-inflicted piece of potty plagiarism …

“Terry's not guilty plea is of central importance, but until that plea is tested at law, a shadow will haunt the game. There is, of course, the possibility that Terry will sniff the prevailing winds and decide to remove himself from the centre of attention.â€

Now unlike some, I don’t particularly want to get too sniffy about one footballer, one club or one word, but there is a whiff of concern here for me, as doubtless there must be for many who smell a repetitious rat at work and sense the obnoxious stench of lazy journalism at its most lethargic. For the next such example, let’s go back to November again and Patrick’s summation of how JT would have reacted had he appeared in an England shirt on that occasion…

“And the rash of unseemly speculation. Would he affect head-bowing humility, or would he attempt the ‘JT: Captain, Leader, Legend’ pose which goes down so well at Stamford Bridge?â€

How times and words change in the Collins Dictionary two months on… or not as this case proves to be and he ponders the possibility of JT stepping down once again in his January reprise…

“On the other hand, he may choose to live out the slogan that hangs from a stand at Stamford Bridge: 'John Terry: Captain, Leader, Legend', it reads. It is trite, crude and bombastic, the kind of nonsense which nobody possessing a sense of the ridiculous could entertain for a moment.â€

Not as ‘trite, crude and bombastic’ as treating your readership to a repeat dose of malevolent nonsense so soon after the last, I would have ventured, had it not been for the delicate health issue so clearly compromised in so doing. Still, that said and with Collins senses in such marked decline, it is a relief to know he still retains and displays his most acute, that of the ridiculous. Indeed, he can also grasp the importance of tenet and law when he feels so inclined too, as evidenced in a November paragraph, designed to inject a note of personal statesmanlike authority [by suggesting a reserve of judgment] whilst propounding the exact opposite …

“In any case, large issues are at stake. As we have been superfluously informed, the charge of racism is a serious matter, one which could gravely compromise a man’s career. Both the FA and the Metropolitan Police would have needed solid grounds for mounting their inquiries. All the more reason, then, why those inquiries should be conducted without clamorous distractions, such as Saturday evening would have offered. Clearly, with no relevant evidence to hand, I have no idea what these investigations might reveal.â€

Quite right too, you forgetful old thing you, although isn’t it such a shame you couldn’t wait any time at all before prejudging JT in the paragraphs that followed, by driving your coach-load of disdain straight through any open mind your readership had left after you rode roughshod through it with your prejudice. And not satisfied with this immediate poisoning of your one pure thought, we find only a couple of months down a full circle line and in the centre of even more vitriolic diatribe aimed at JT, the following mock piety card played yet again…

“Here we should stress, for those incapable of grasping the obvious, that Terry is innocent until a court decides otherwise. For a man in his position, the consequences of a guilty verdict would be devastating.â€

At this point, bearing in mind the sheer crass absurdity of the Collins penmanship, it is easy to lose all respect for a man who so obviously hates another (and those associated with him vicariously through club or country allegiance) to the extent that he can produce such a public outpouring of repetitious, embarrassing prose. In truth, it is as though he has become obsessed with a loathing for a fellow human being and it has left him bereft of humility or fairness of thought.

Sadly, I fully expect further tirades, perhaps even on a weekly basis, as manic obsession of this kind knows no bounds other than a restraining order. For our part, since JT is now able go on and lead England in Europe, we can only try to find it in our hearts to have pity on Patrick Collins whilst he is locked in his full interminable reproduction mode, each time forgetting the vitriol that went before. The Mail might even end up with a whole serialisation of similitude, should their writer’s blockheadedness really deteriorate into a terminal condition and late in the day though it may be, final awareness and diagnosis of his problem dictates that someone, perhaps at Editorial level, steps in soon to put him out of his tetchy time loop misery.

 

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Old Pop Collins own newspaper is running a "Dignity for the Elderly" campaign, surely they should put their money where there mouth is, and take his laptop off him before he tries to swat a fly with it, with disastrous results....

On the other hand...

Edited by SHELLY
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  • 5 months later...

Another awesome piece from Collins today:

Why I wish AVB well

The last time I saw Andre Villas-Boas, he was about to be sacked. It was March and Chelsea had just lost at West Bromwich Albion. He had concluded, correctly, that several of his players were way past their peak and that drastic surgery was required.

For their part, the old lags recognised their continued employment depended on the manager’s departure. So they got rid of him.

The process was curiously repugnant: they shrugged, pouted and went through the motions, apparently indifferent to the outcome. They made it clear that they would not play for the manager.

Just a few weeks later, they would mass their defences and ride some outrageous luck to win the Champions League. But by then, AVB would be gone.

He left with great elegance, refusing to blame those who had let him down, and we sensed he still had much to offer. He now has his chance at Tottenham. I hope he takes it.

Pretty libellous accusations made against our players there, alongside a characterstic belittling of our CL success.

Still, he cleatly has a soft spot for AVB. Or does he? What did he think of him when he was Chelsea manager? Let's travel back in time and find out:

Jose Mourinho was a shameless chancer who recognised a kindred spirit, yet even he was at odds with his captain before he left Chelsea.

Andre Villas-Boas, once an obedient minion of Mourinho, promised more civilised things. He wanted to play with more style, more attacking invention. He attempted a long overdue cull of the clique of barrack-room lawyers who call the shots at Chelsea. Yet, as events turned against him, he resorted to the bogus, populist card. He attacked the motives of referees. He swept aside the accusations against his captain: ‘Just a misunderstanding.’ He chided the media for their challenging questions: ‘I find it strange that people should doubt the words of such a representative player for your country.’ In other words, the England captain is quite incapable of deception.

He even dedicated a Carling Cup victory ‘to John’. It was pernicious garbage, delivered with a superior sneer. The man was cast in the image and likeness of Mourinho, when we had hoped for something better.

So a deeply unsavoury climate was created and a crude siege mentality was clumsily formulated.

So, take the man out of the club Collins despises and he becomes a good guy again.

Embarrassing.

I have twice posted the quote from his previous article in the comments below today's column, but predictably they haven't made it past the Daily Heil censors.

Edited by Backbiter
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curiously repugnant
he resorted to the bogus, populist card
pernicious garbage
deeply unsavoury
the kind of nonsense which nobody possessing a sense of the ridiculous could entertain for a moment

Irony obviously isn't a strong point for Collins.

I have no idea

Just about the only accurate statement he's ever made.

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Geat post Dorset. 10/10.

The AVB bit is cringeworthy - wishing AVB luck at Spurs as if he always had a lot of time for him and was always in his corner when only months earlier he was belittling him and making personal attacks against his character and managerial style.

It was pernicious garbage, delivered with a superior sneer. The man was cast in the image and likeness of Mourinho, when we had hoped for something better.

These do not sound like the words to describe a man you would then go out of your way to wish good luck only months later if you ask me.

What a complete and utter pratt.

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  • 8 months later...

Collins has just written another column praising AVB to the skies:

For one of the happiest aspects of the entire season has been an increasing awareness that Villas-Boas might have something wonderful to offer the English game. With neither fuss nor clamour or any of those arch, self-dramatising eruptions which have characterised the career of a rather more famous fellow-countryman, he is producing a Tottenham team who are in tune with the club’s best traditions. 

And he is doing it, moreover, with dignity; an increasingly rare quality in his precarious profession.


Perhaps because of his youth — he is only 35 — possibly on account of his nationality, Villas-Boas has been persistently undervalued by English football.

Clearly, he has adapted and improved his methods in the course of a brief career but the notion that his experience  at Chelsea prompted a radical transformation of his managerial philosophy is palpably absurd.

He does what he does and he does it rather well, far better than those early, glib dismissals of his talent would have us believe.

A formidable man is Villas-Boas.

I have posted what he wrote about AVB when he was in charge at Chelsea  (see post #5 above). That's the third time I'll have reminded him what he previously thought of the guy. I wonder if it'll be third time lucky and I'll get my comment printed.

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Another awesome piece from Collins today:

Pretty libellous accusations made against our players there, alongside a characterstic belittling of our CL success.

Still, he cleatly has a soft spot for AVB. Or does he? What did he think of him when he was Chelsea manager? Let's travel back in time and find out:

So, take the man out of the club Collins despises and he becomes a good guy again.

Embarrassing.

I have twice posted the quote from his previous article in the comments below today's column, but predictably they haven't made it past the Daily Heil censors.

Apart from the obvious fact of who he currently works for, here's another reason to wish nothing but failure for AVB, taken from the Carl Magnay article linked to by Carshalton Blue:

 

"The manager at the time I left was AVB. He separated the young players and placed us in another building. He had nothing to say. I took a lot of advice from Steve Holland who was a great help to me when leaving the club. He almost set up a move to Swindon for me but it fell through at the 11th hour."
 
Whilst at Chelsea, AVB asked the youth team to leave the premises. What was that like at the time & what impact did that have?
 
"AVB's decision to kick us out of the building didn't go down too well to be honest. It upset coaches and players alike. Whilst there, the youth players felt pointless. Regardless of how we performed we were never given an opportunity. He didn't have too much of an interest. He tried to change too much about the club and that includes trying to oust Lamps. He treated Anelka and Alex poorly, banning them from the dressing room and have them train separately on their own. We had recently won the youth cup and the reserve league. We had the best youth set up in the country. I think the final straw was when the first team were short for players, he used to use members of his staff to fill in instead of calling up young players and giving them first team experience in training. One day we were walking in from training and the conditioner was training with the first team as oppose to giving a young player vital experience. That said it all really."
 
I can only hope the prick takes the same attitude to youth development at White Hart Lane.
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Yes, I read that from Carl Magnay. AVB made some monumental f*ck-ups in his time at the Bridge in his treatment of certain players and his contempt for the youth set-up at the club. I have no doubt he has learned from his mistakes, which makes this bit from Collins yesterday a total joke:

 

The notion that his experience  at Chelsea prompted a radical transformation of his managerial philosophy is palpably absurd.

AVB himself has admitted he has learned a hell of a lot from what he did wrong with us, but Collins refuses to acknowledge that fact.

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This guy is a Chelsea hater his prejudice is there for all to see ,a nasty piece of work with an agenda with double standards that border on discrimination.

 

 

   I understand he waits for the crowd to leave and then creeps to Fulham Broadway station in disguise and logs Chelsea supporters conversations on the train to use in his desperate articles.

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 Keep up the good work on exposing Collins ,Dorset.

 

  I know the temptation is to ignore a bad smell ,but he is poison and I would advise the club to ban him from Stamford Bridge he hates everything Chelsea .

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 I read that backbiter and I marked your comments up   :good2: .

 

  To the bloke who compared Collins to Neil Ashton forget it,Collins hate for Chelsea is obsessional .

 

  Well done for posting his picture ,if anyone spots him at The Bridge have a word with him.

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